The Randomness of Olympus
by OzoneDragon
Summary: Join the Seven and their friends as they encounter humor, horror, drama and more! On THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS (insert catchy jingle here). Shouting required whenever name is spoken. Series of one-shots. Rated T for Tim Tams (just in case). Pairings not necessarily present. Featuring: Annabeth giggles, Gaea whining, wigs, and ice cream!
1. Mother Earth Joins the Queue

**Hey! OzoneDragon here, ready to bring you another story!**

 **This is gonna be a series of oneshots. Genre can vary, though most will be Humor. Hence, the word Randomness.**

 **Anyways, enjoy! R &R!**

 **I can never own anything mentioned. I did join many, many long lines, though.**

* * *

 **Mother Earth Joins the Queue**

* * *

Gaea was going to give up.

Normally, she would stay persistent, doing anything she could to achieve her plans. But, after defeat after defeat, failure after failure, she was getting some doubts.

That Valdez kid vaporizing her in her grandson's domain was the last straw.

Though she didn't _completely_ disperse, she was just put into an awkward position, literally. But, she was getting bored with this charade. It was time to retire.

She would admit defeat, but not without some revenge. ' _If I'm going down, might as well take them down with me_ ' she mused. What was it the kids say nowadays? ' _Go out with a bang?_ ' That was it.

The Earth Mother will have final moment of blazing glory and revenge before resting for eternity.

So, now she knows what she wants, who to take revenge on, then?

Not the gods, even the earth herself has to bide to the ancient laws.

Not the mortals, even if she would love to torture the foolish creatures for defiling her domain, they wouldn't be important enough to make the final revenge... _satisfying_.

How about the demigods that humiliated and destroyed her every being? Yes, that would be excellent.

The Earth goddess decided to exact revenge on the Seven, they were the only ones who actually did anything against her (as in _her,_ not her cause) anyways. Including the meddlesome son of Hades and his two companions, maybe even the Apollo child he obviously likes, and a few others.

If she strikes one of them, it would lead to a chain reaction of grief and pain. Yes, this was a good plan. She won't kill them, no. That defeats the point of revenge, in her eyes. Besides, she couldn't kill them if she wanted to, she was either too weak or they were well defended.

She did have just enough power left to do this. She needed to make haste, she was getting tired. Maybe a nice retirement in Africa would be nice. She could finally write those _fanfictions_ that popped in her mind. Although she hated those demigods, she loved their stories. She shipped Percabeth herself. That _was_ the reason why she wanted them as the sacrifice to awaken her. But, back to the progr- point. Yes. Point. Good word. Not program. This most definitely was not a means of entertainment devised by someone behind a screen. _Definitely not._

Where were we? Oh yeah.

Writing fanfiction inside one of the last strongholds to represent the earth. A wonderful retirement.

Now, to work.

* * *

Annabeth was walking around Central Park with Thalia. They were just reminiscing about old times. About their adventures with Luke, with Percy, and the war against Gaea.

They were sitting on a bench when it happened.

The grass started around their area crawled up their legs. Birds were amassing in the skies. The trees were bending towards them.

Thalia pulled out her bow. "Something's up."

Annabeth followed suit, and unsheathed her sword. "Someone or something with nature magic."

" _You are correct, demigods._ " An all too familiar voice echoed throughout the park.

Annabeth's eyes widened. "No, you can't be here. We defeated you. We _burned_ you."

" _I can never be eliminated, child. Now it is time._ " The grass shot out at the girls' legs as they tried to run. Leaves interlocked and wrapped around their torsos. Soon, they were wrapped in green, struggling against the plants.

" _Give up, save your energy. I want you to see my final act._ " Gaea said with a soothing voice, laced what could only be a sleeping spell (not an actual spell sleeping).

Groggily, Thalia asked "What is this final act, if I may?"

Gaea, being the villainess that she was, said " _WHY IT IS TIME FOR MY REVENGE!_ "

Camper and Hunter soon fell asleep. Though, Gaea thought she could hear _giggles_ coming out of their puny little mouths.

 _Must be a dream. Good. It will make the torture much more fun._

* * *

Leo, Hazel and Calypso were at the Central Park Zoo watching a lion 'talk' to a hippo, giraffe, and a zebra.

"Why are they talking?" Hazel asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Maybe they're planning escape." Calypso replied.

"They remind me of that movie. What's it called? Mada-hoo-ha? _Madagascar_? That's it." Leo said while licking his ice cream cone.

Then, as if the animals heard them, they looked straight at the three.

"Leo..." Calypso started.

"I did nothing!"

Hazel was about to say something when suddenly the zebra ran towards them, jumped over the fence, and wrapped what looked like a large rainbow wig around them.

Leo, alarmed, tried and failed to spontaneously combust. "It's fireproof."

Hazel tried to get her spatha out, but couldn't.

Calypso looked about, then screamed when she saw the lady approaching them.

She had many unnerving features, the worst were the eyes. Pure leaf green orbs.

Leo and Hazel looked in Calypso's direction and gaped.

"Oh _schist_."

* * *

Nico dragged Will into the nearest McDonald's after hearing that the healer had never tried a McFlurry before.

"Come on, it's worth the calories." Nico said as he practically dragged the blond into the ' _restaurant_ ' as Nico so proudly acclaimed.

"But, it might be processed!" Will whined with a look of absolute disgust.

"It'll be fine. If you eat one, I'll give you a hug."

That got Will's attention. He practically ran over to the counter, and ordered the icy treat.

Sadly, Will never got his ice cream because the cashier brought out a golden rope and threw it like a lasso at the two boys, tying them together.

Luckily (for Will at least), the two were tied front to front, so they were facing each other in what could've been a tight embrace if there wasn't rope wrapped around them. Or if their arms weren't strapped to their sides. Or- On second thought, it was more of somebody pushing the towards each other so they would be stuck. _Oh..._

While he smiled at being close to the smaller boy, Nico narrowed his eyes at the cashier, as if his glare could melt her on the spot. Though, the blush on his face completely ruined the trademark death glare.

She just shrugged it off, got one of the loose ropes and pulled them out the door.

"This is normal, everyone." She assured. "It's a _millionth customer prize_." Everyone shrugged and went back to their business.

"What?! Kidnapping your customers is a prize?" Nico shouted.

"No, but giving the filth that you call heroes what they deserve _is_." The cashier replied with a sinister smile, and dragged them again with ease.

"This is why I don't go to McDonald's..." Will grumbled.

Nico looked at him with a raised eyebrow, still blushing. "Care to explain? We're just hanging here anyway."

* * *

Frank came from the vendor cart with the ice cream Hazel and Calypso wanted. Only, where were the girls and Leo?

The son of Mars walked around until he saw a zebra dragging the people he was looking for wrapped in what looked like a...wig?

He blinked twice. "Umm..."

The zebra stopped and looked at him, then at his prisoners, then back.

Leo looked at him. "Don't ask."

"I don't even want to know."

Hazel looked up and smiled. "Can you help us?"

Frank looked at the zebra again. The thing growled, if that was possible. "Maybe I'll join you. That zebra scares me. It might attack me if I try to break you guys out."

The three frowned at him as he approached the zebra, who knelt. That was weird. Maybe because he was a descendant of Poseidon?

Then, the zebra stood up and gestured him to follow.

The prisoners looked at him oddly.

"Umm...I have ice cream?"

They shrugged and told him to follow them and feed them ice cream.

Except Leo though, he dropped his.

* * *

Jason was on a date with Piper in a cafe overlooking the Hudson River. It had been weeks since he came back to Camp Half-Blood, and he wanted to spend his time with his girlfriend.

They were about to leave the cafe when a giant net dropped on them. They tried to cut the weave, but alas, it worked to no avail.

Suddenly a waiter came up and dragged them off outside, maybe to throw them out. Perhaps, he thought they were a trash bag.

Piper was screaming protests, but the waiter didn't even hear them. The net must be made of Celestial Bronze or Imperial Gold if Piper's charm speak couldn't even reach the other guy's ears. Either that or the guy just had earplugs.

When they got outside, the man kept dragging them until they reached a large warehouse, and handed over them to a woman that looked like she worked at a McDonald's.

She then tossed them into the center of the room, and the lights flickered to reveal everyone else who went out to Manhattan that day, trapped in birdcages.

Annabeth groaned, _bored_? "You too?"

Hazel spoke up. "Who's left?"

"There's Reyna, Coach, Grover, and Percy."

"We can count on Reyna and the others then." Calypso said reassuringly.

Everyone let out a sigh of relief that was rudely interrupted by...

Coach Hedge and Reyna falling from the ceiling.

"At least we have Gro-" Nico started as Grover was tossed in from a window.

"We're doomed!" Leo exclaimed.

"I think Percy will push through." Reyna said.

"You won't believe who we're dealing with, then." Annabeth whispered, _giggling_? Seriously, what was up with Annabeth today? Thalia too.

"How do we escape?" Piper asked.

"We can't everything's enchanted. From the cages to the doors, even the floor is enchanted so we can't escape unless its master (or _mistress_ ) releases us." Leo replied.

"What was that?" asked Coach Hedge.

"N-nothing." Leo stuttered. He didn't want to 'scare' his friends any further, the others that saw _her_ could agree.

"Oh well. What now?" Jason said glumly.

Leo grinned excitedly. "Who's up for 20 Questions?"

Everyone groaned.

There goes the proper reunion they were having.

Well, technically they did get a proper reunion, only the _old-fashioned_ way.

* * *

Percy was at the meeting place everyone agreed to go to when they finished, the Starbucks close to the Empire State Building. For the first time, he was early.

He just finished visiting his mother and Paul when he arrived, early.

From that alone Percy knew something was up. Normally, Reyna or Annabeth or Jason would be there first. But, no one was there, except him, early.

Holding on to Riptide in his pocket, he stood up and scanned the store. Nothing was suspicious except for the lady in the corner. She had ebony black hair, ivory white skin, and pure leaf green eyes. _Gaea_.

Percy pulled out his sword and moved into a defensive chance. "What are you doing here. We watched you explode."

" _I can never be completely destroyed, child. Now it is time for you to-_ "

At that Percy bolted.

Gaea obviously annoyed, went after him. _He didn't even let her finish her speech!_ She had it all planned out too. _Oh well, let the chase begin!_

Percy was freaking out. Why was Gaea still here? Is she the reason why everyone is gone? Probably. He needed find them, but he had to get away from the primordial goddess.

He was on his own. Even the gods can't interfere with Gaea. He tried to take the most confusing route as possible, ducking between alleys, going in random directions just to shake of the earth goddess. But, she was the _earth_ goddess. And where was he? Earth. Another moment for Percy to add to his ' _How lucky would I be if I was an alien_ ' list.

He also tried to contact Grover through their empathy link. ' _GROVER! Where are you? Gaea's here!_ '

Luckily, Grover replied. ' _In a warehouse. I can hear a river close by._ ' Unluckily, that didn't narrow it down at all. There were warehouses by rivers, _everywhere._

He needed to find them. If he couldn't- No, he wouldn't even think of the outcome if he failed to find his friends.

The son of Poseidon tried to think of his options. He didn't have many.

Just as he was about to think of something he came up to a dead end.

"Schist."

" _Language dear child, you are making this too easy._ " Gaea's voice boomed throughout the alleyway. " _Do not bother struggling. I want your full attention for what I have planned._ "

Tendrils of concrete and brick sprung up and coiled around Percy wrapping him up like industrial wontons.

As much as Percy struggled he was trapped.

Gaea pressed a finger to the son of Poseidon's forehead and in a blinding flash of white, they were in a dark room.

The warehouse.

* * *

When Percy came to, he was on alert immediately.

He was in a dimly lit room, lying on the floor. The room was quite spacious, a few light bulbs, half of them dead. He could make out several bars that resembled over-sized umbrellas. When he focused on one he realized they were birdcages.

Birdcages holding his friends.

He jumped to his feet and ran to the nearest one, which was Grover's. "What's going on?"

Grover was about to speak but another voice answered for him. " _It is time, Perseus Jackson._ "

There was a long pause. Percy turned in the direction of the voice.

" _You may have defeated me. But, I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!_ " Gaea said with a perfect villain's posture and villain's laugh in the center of the room.

As much as Percy should have been terrified, he couldn't. He dropped to the floor and laughed as much as his lungs could allow.

Soon, everyone else was laughing their _podexes_ off. Even Reyna was giggling to an unprofessional level.

" _What? Why are you laughing? Are you not terrified?_ " The earth goddess exclaimed, bewildered.

When everyone quieted down, Thalia spoke up, giggling. "When you mean revenge, do you plan to torture us and give us pain for as long as possible?"

" _Of course, how can I do it any other way?_ "

Everyone broke into laughter again.

Coach Hedge questioned the primordial goddess. "So, you don't want to take over the world again? Just revenge?"

" _Yes, I must get revenge._ "

Everyone just kept cracking up.

At this point Gaea was getting annoyed. " _If you do not take me seriously I will-_ "

"What? Smite us?" Percy said between chuckles.

Gaea was about to rant about how she should be respected when the son of Poseidon said "Look if you want revenge, you need to go to Camp Half-Blood. There we can talk about revenge."

The Earth Mother blinked, and said something intelligent like " _wat_ "

"We'll show you if you let us go, we won't run away. Swear on the Styx." Annabeth added.

The earth goddess just gaped. If only she knew it was that easy. She could've been knitting and writing hours ago!

* * *

It was really funny to see the look on Argus' face when they arrived at the meeting point with the goddess that tried to destroy them a few months ago. But, once Coach Hedge explained the situation, his eyes glinted with amusement. Which, if anyone could say, looked really, _really_ weird.

It was a really tight fit in the van, though. Even with Nico still strapped to Will (Surprisingly, Gaea secretly asked everyone not to untie them, until later. She shipped Solangelo).

* * *

When they arrived at Camp, everyone went to the arena while Percy grabbed something from Chiron.

After a few minutes, the Hero of Olympus arrived on the back of his mentor. Percy got off Chiron, thanked him and walked up to Gaea.

He presented to the earth goddess what looked like a miniature gun with some paper sticking out of it.

" _If you're going to shoot me, you're gonna have to do better than that._ " She deadpanned.

Percy smiled impishly. "Oh no, we won't shoot you, you need this for your revenge."

He handed her a piece of paper that said ' _#4963_ ' on it.

" _What is this? How many ways of torture I get to try out?_ " She asked confused.

Chiron said, barely hiding a chuckle. "No, grandmother. That is your _number_."

" _My number?_ "

"Your number indicates when it is your turn to try to get revenge." Hazel replied.

" _Excuse me?_ "

They just pointed behind her. When she looked over her shoulder she could only flinch in horror as a line as long as this chapter snaked through the forest. The start of it at the base of the stairs of the arena, the end directly in front of it. The middle went through the entire forest. She could sense it. How could she not notice before?

It was ' _that_ ' long.

She could see a wide assortment of patrons in the line. From telkhines to dracaena to mortals to her own children. Even Hera was there. She was second from the front behind the ghost of that weird blond that shot himself at the earth goddess several months ago. What was his name? _Octagon_? _Octopus_? Octavian.

" _Umm..._ " She had no words. Maybe this revenge thing was not worth it. She should've just retired early. She should've just let one of her minions do it for her, but it turns out...they were in the line too. _So that's why Mark cancelled on Tuesday_ , she realized.

"No, you can't back out. Not until you reach the end. Then you can decide if you really want revenge. Think of it as your ' _payment_ '." Annabeth said almost sadistically.

At this Percy looked confused, "Annabeth you know you can-" Thalia and Jason practically jumped on him. Percy realized there that the siblings were quite heavy. He would never admit it though, they would join the line, and he couldn't bear giving them _that_ kind of torture.

Before Gaea could notice, Reyna pushed her in. "Have fun! And I hope you've learned your lesson. There is Wi-fi so you can use the internet-"

Gaea let out a sigh of relief. Then Reyna continued.

"-once you reach the forest."

The Earth Mother finished the sigh in disappointment. She should have listened to Flipsy. He would say ' _I told you so_ ', she thought in a shrill voice. Damn puppy was always right.

She went in line anyway. Behind a familiar person.

" _You too, grandchild?_ " She asked Poseidon.

Poseidon smiled at his grandmother (who he had a _child_ with. He didn't really have a problem with her, world domination aside). "Percy forgot to give me that sea-shell print tie for Father's Day, _again_."

Oh boy, this would be a long...how ever long this took.

She looked up at a screen, thinking it had a movie, but it only said ' _Now serving: #078'_.

She looked at her ticket, then the screen, then back.

The demigods could only stop themselves from dying of laughter as they watched supposedly one of the most powerful immortals on the planet scream like a five-year old.

* * *

Percy looked his friends, once the heavy siblings got of off him. "You do realize you can leave the line at any time, right?"

"Not anymore." Piper replied, smirking.

Percy frowned.

Annabeth first noticed. "What's wrong?"

Percy looked up at them. "Dad's not gonna be happy."

* * *

 **Hoped you guys like that one!  
**

 **Introducing my new headcannon: _Gaea writes fanfiction_**

 **And: _Gaea ships Percabeth_**

 **Also: _Gaea goes into retirement after the second Gigantomancy_**

 **Tune in next time on ~ _THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~_ (Insert catchy jingle here) _  
_**

* * *

 **"I am going to give Chiron a beating when we finish this."**

 **"Come on, it's not that bad."**

 **"IT IS A LIST THICKER THAN YOUR HEAD, SEAWEED BRAIN."**

 **"Oooooooooh"**

* * *

 **Ta-ta for now!  
**


	2. The List

**Let's bring chapter 2!**

 **Here is ~** _ **THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS**_ **~ (insert catchy jingle here)**

* * *

 **The List**

* * *

Percy had no idea what was happening. This morning he was just hanging out with his friends, playing board games in the Big House. Then, suddenly he was in a van with everyone else on the way to Manhattan to get some things.

According to Annabeth, Chiron gave her a white rod that supposedly had the list of things they needed to buy. That alone was normal, the Romans and Hunters were visiting at the same time, so a lot of people were there, meaning a lot things were needed.

The odd thing was the army of vans following the one they were in. They didn't need _that_ much space, did they? There was also the fact that Chiron gave Annabeth a white _rod_ , not a list. Unless… No, the list couldn't possibly be that long. Right? _Right?_

* * *

They got off the van at the Empire State Building, everyone needed a rest while the vans parked in the building. Jason and Reyna were currently planning the best way to do their _errand_ in the most efficient way possible.

They were silent until Frank spoke first. "Okay, now we're here. What do we do?"

Calypso replied. "We shop."

"But, for what?"

"Didn't Chiron give Annabeth something?" asked Hazel.

Annabeth answered. "I thought it was just a defense stick. But, okay…" She brought out the stick and held it out for everyone to see. "I honestly have no idea what it's meant fo-" She was interrupted by the rod- or _paper_ \- unfurling, revealed to not be a defense stick. By the time it stopped rolling, it went around everyone's feet. The writing on it was handwritten. Whatever you had to do to receive writing _that_ as a punishment.

The paper actually was a checklist. A very long one. At least that explains the vans.

Everyone's mouths dropped.

Annabeth's eye twitched, she was shaking and giving that ' _I will end your days_ ' vibe. That was not good. "I am going to give Chiron a beating when we get back."

Percy tried to calm her down. "Come on, it's not _that_ bad." Though, it was very obvious he didn't believe himself.

Annabeth annoyed now, practically shouted. "IT IS A LIST THICKER THAN YOUR HEAD, SEAWEED BRAIN. WE HAVE TO BUY ALL OF THAT."

Leo brought out an iPod, pressed a button, and a small crowd of voices went " _Oooooooooh._ "

"Not helping, Leo," Calypso muttered as she confiscated the machine before Annabeth could destroy the thing.

Piper tried to change the subject. "Let's just get started. The sooner we begin, the sooner we can go home."

Everyone nodded. And braced themselves for the shopping and insanity to follow.

* * *

It was decided that to save time, everyone split up in pairs, each equipped with a Lotus Casino cash card Nico swiped several years ago. They would each get one van to put stuff in, while another had to go in rotation to move the demigods from one place to another.

It was decided that Percy and Annabeth would go to the electronic store, Will and Nico to the giant pharmacy, Leo and Calypso went to the hardware store, Jason and Piper would get the groceries, Frank and Hazel went to the arts and crafts shop, leaving Reyna and Thalia to look for anything they couldn't find in the Olympian Market. Whoever finished first would move on to the next stores, and there were _tons_ of them.

Since they couldn't use cellphones, they used walkie-talkies to communicate. Annabeth held The List, and because it was too long to make copies, so she relayed orders like a general.

This list was more of a hassle than they thought. And that's saying something.

At least Chiron specified which stores to go to. That was probably the only bright side in this situation.

* * *

"This is the place."

"Are you sure?"

"It's the address written down here."

Annabeth and Percy were currently outside of a small shack in an alleyway. It looked like any other shack, except for the doorbell, and a sign that said " _Billy Bob's Buggits and Gizmos._ " They hoped this was the place Chiron was talking about, it looked too... _tiny._

"You ready?" Percy asked.

"Ready as I'll ever be," the daughter of Athena answered.

"This is gonna be tight."

"You don't say," Annabeth said as she opened the the door to reveal a massive warehouse much, much larger than what it looked like outside. "Woah, it's amazing."

"It's like the TARDIS."

"Maybe it is. Well, let's begin." Annabeth brought out The List and the walkie-talkie. "Do you want to hold it?" gesturing to the communication device.

"Sure." She handed it to him.

"One question."

"Yeah?"

"How does it work?"

Annabeth facepalmed.

* * *

"Okay, grab a cart and I'll contact Annabeth." Piper uttered. Jason went ahead to get a shopping cart while the daughter of Aphrodite wrote down their current objective as Percy relayed the contents of The List.

"So you need to get _20_ marshmallow packets, _40_ boxes of graham crackers, and about _300_ bars of chocolate. It says here to get a hundred for milk chocolate, dark and white, each. Once you get those call me back."

Piper stared at the small notepad in front of her.

"I'm back!" Jason exclaimed as he arrived with a shopping _basket_.

The son of Zeus' girlfriend stared, eyes twitching. "Jason…" she started slowly.

"Yeah?" He asked innocently.

"Two things. One, I said get a _CART_ -"

Jason paled. "Oh…"

"Two, we're gonna need a _really_ big one. Can you be a dear, and get a large one for me? That would be excellent."

The son of Zeus complied and rushed to the carts faster than one can say 'Hydra.' Piper was speaking in a British accent. That wasn't a good sign. She only did that when she was angry, and Jason didn't want to aggravate her any further.

 _An angry Piper was a scary Piper._

* * *

"Do you have the screws, over?"

"Yes I do, over."

"Can you get some super glue, over."

"Roger, over."

"I'm not Roger, I'm Percy, over"

"Over, ro-"

"Leo, can you please focus?" Calypso asked exasperatedly. Leo and Percy were toying around with the walkie-talkies, and it was annoying the Titaness to a whole new level. "And Percy, I thought you were more mature than that."

"Sorry Calypso, over."

"Copy that Aquaman, over."

"I'm not Aquaman, over."

"Roger that, over."

"I'M NOT ROGER, over."

"Stop it Seaweed Brain or so help me, we're eating seafood tonight," Annabeth threatened. If there was one thing the girls _definitely_ agreed on, it was that the boys were idiots. Except Nico, he was a moron.

"Sorry, ov-"

"DON'T SAY IT!" Both girls shouted. All of the people in the store looked at the couple.

Leo rubbed his neck sheepishly. "Sorry, people. Please go take your attention away from the awesome couple that we are." Everyone ignored him.

Calypso blushed. "Leo, let's just finish this." Trying to change the subject.

"You know you love me, sunshine."

"Uh huh."

* * *

"What do you mean 'You _don't_ give discounts?'" Thalia asked angrily. Reyna and the Hunter were currently in the Olympian Market looking for Twinkies. Apparently, they ran out at the grocery store, but luckily, there was a store dedicated to Twinkies on Olympus, they had Twinkie everything. Twinkie magnets, snowglobes, and yes actual Twinkies. What a coincidence… _Or is it?_

"Look lady. Twinkies are a rare enough delicacy as it is, and I can't have people like you downgrading its value by asking for things like ' _discounts,_ '" the man told Thalia, surprisingly confident. He took Twinkies very seriously, as it was shown.

"But, we are the heroes of Olympus! AND TWINKIES AREN'T EVEN DELICACIES. THEY ARE TWINKIES!"

"Then you should show some humility then? And don't you dare insult the great Twinkies," he threw back, smug smile on his face. He must deal with lots of hagglers, then.

Thalia took out her bow. "Are you sure about that?"

"Your weapons are useless here, you left your arrows at the security gate." His smile wider.

Thalia grumbled something unrecognizable.

Reyna decided to speak before her friend had to go to an anger management class. "Look, mister. We really need these Twinkies. Why don't we just settle our differences and buy the stuff? We'll pay extra." They didn't even need the discounts in the first place, they had the Lotus Casino cards. Maybe Thalia just liked to haggle?

"Sure, I'll even throw in an extra box because you were nice. 'Unlike your friend over there.'" He whispered.

"Thank you sir. See Thalia, you need to be _nice_ ," Reyna chided as the man went into the back of the room.

The daughter of Zeus glared back.

The man came back. "Sorry ladies. We've run out. The next shipment won't come out until next week," he apologized.

"What? How could you run out?" Reyna asked, surprised. There were boxes of them just a while ago.

He pointed outside. "That lady just bought them all from my companion, here." He pointed to a woman in a green dress carrying five boxes of the desert like they were pillows. More were following her telepathically. "If you want I can reserve the next ones for you."

"It's fine." Thalia denied the offer. "Reyna, I think we should _have a chat_ our friend over there, shall we?"

The daughter of Bellona took the hint. "Yeah, good idea Thalia. Will be leaving now sir," she said to the man.

"Be careful, you two."

"We will."

The two girls looked at each other and broke into a sprint after the lady.

When they were a few yards from the lady, Thalia held up three fingers. Reyna nodded. On the count of three, they would corner the lady and haggle like they've never haggled before. Which they haven't. Reyna, at least, hasn't.

'One' she mouthed. The lady stopped at the edge of the market.

'Two' The girls hid behind two posts.

'Three' They pounced on the lady, only to be surprised by her identity.

"DEMETER?!" Both girls shouted.

The goddess of harvest covered her face. "Don't look at me. Take everything! Just don't tell the other Olympians!" She cried.

Thalia pulled an excellent poker face. "Is this why you obsess over cereal? So no one will notice the Twinkies?" She asked as Reyna helped the goddess up.

"Well yes, and no," she started. "I love cereal, but adding Twinkies makes it absolutely _divine_ ," the supposed crazy cereal lady said dreamily. "I made everyone think I only thought cereal was the only good food in existence because it would be very ironic if it was revealed that Twinkies are also my favorite."

"But, no one would judge you for your favorite food." 'Except for Hades, maybe,' Reyna thought.

The goddess looked up at them. "Really?"

"Yeah, Percy eats blue food all the time and no one judges him." Thalia chuckled.

"That's true," the goddess pondered. "Are you sure it will be fine?"

"Definitely. If anything, they might be relieved that you don't think about cereal day and night," Reyna mused.

Demeter laughed. "Thank you, demigods. You have made me feel confident again." She gestured towards the boxes. "Here, you deserve it."

"Are you sure?" Thalia asked.

"Yes, just leave me with one box, and make sure my children have some. I want them to realize the glory of Twinkies and cereal _combined_!" She pronounced happily.

Reyna and Thalia exchanged looks. Even if they got more than enough Twinkies, they may have made Demeter's food obsessions _worse_ (If that was even possible). Now that she could love both foods openly, she can pester everyone to eat them _both_ more openly, too.

Oh, _joy._

* * *

Percy looked up.

Annabeth glanced at him. "What's wrong?"

"Somebody's dissing blue food, again."

The daughter of Athena rolled her eyes.

"Seaweed Brain…"

* * *

Frank was getting bored. They arrived at the crafts shop three hours ago, and got everything they needed one and half in. They were supposed to report back to Percy, but Hazel begged him not to. Apparently, this was probably the last time they would get to this store in months. Though honestly, Frank thought they would be back in four days. Demigods use a lot of materials.

So here he was now, nodding and shaking his head automatically as Hazel asked him stuff.

"Does this green go with this red? Or this green?"

"Yes…"

"Do you think I need more canvases?"

"No"

"Frank, are you even listening?"

"Yes"

"Does Percy look good in a skirt?"

"Yes...wait what?" Frank replayed the question in his head, and held out his hands. "Gods, nonononono. I'm sorry, Hazel. Please don't put that picture in my head." He even got on his knees for that one. Percy in a skirt is a horrifying picture. Also the Hazel pointing every sharp metal object in the aisle at him. "Please forgive me, I'll do anything,"

Hazel raised her eyebrow. "Anything?"

"Yes, anything."

She pretended to think for a moment. "Hmm...I know! Carry all of this-" She dumped all of her chosen art supplies into his arms. "-and pay for them at the _self-check out_." She chuckled maliciously.

Frank paled. "Not the _self-check out_!" He'd raise his arms, but they were full.

The daughter of Pluto cleared her throat. "What are you doing? Those supplies aren't gonna buy themselves." A needle touched the back of the praetor's neck.

The son of Mars groaned. Lesson learned: _Always listen to Hazel_.

* * *

Will and Nico were bickering as usual. Nothing new there.

"Are you sure this is the right brand?"

"Yes, don't you trust me?" Will asked, fake-hurt.

Nico, not understanding his act, immediately felt guilty. "Of course I do."

The son of Apollo smiled. "I hope you meant that in more ways than one." He winked.

The son of Hades blushed, and said something else to change the subject. "It's just that these seem a bit pricey, don't they?" gesturing to the bandages neatly arranged on the shelf.

"What do you mean? They're always at that price."

"But there are cheaper ones."

"Those aren't as reliable as these ones!"

"But-"

They kept arguing as they went through the store. Attracting attention wherever they went.

A child asked her mother. "Mommy, are they married?" pointing to the bickering duo.

Her mother answered. "No dear, why do you say that? They're too young to get married."

"They talk like you and daddy, and auntie H and uncle Z, and grandma and grandpa." The child said innocently.

The mother chuckled at her child's implication. "No baby, they're just in love. They don't know it yet, but they are."

"Okay mommy."

The mother's phone started ringing. "Hey sweetie…"

"Hi Aph…"

* * *

"Is that everything?"

"Yep"

"The marshmallows?

"Done"

"The dragon chow?"

"Yes"

"The ice cream?"

"Wait, what?" Jason asked, worriedly. After today, he would try as much as possible to stay away from a grocery store.

"It says here that we need to get ice cream," Annabeth uttered, drily.

"Oh no. I don't think Jason can handle going there again." Piper whispered to the daughter of Athena.

"Are you sure that's all it says?" Calypso attempted to calm everyone down.

"Well-"

"Wait, the bottom of the paper is folded." Hazel noted.

"Well, what are you waiting for, Wise Girl?"

"Alright, alright." Annabeth unfolded the paper, and gasped. Thalia looked over her shoulder and mimicked her actions.

"What does it say?" Will asked.

"It says-" " _You guys deserve a break. Have some ice cream in the parlor on Olympus. It's the best in the world_. _\- Chiron_ " Thalia finished.

Silence.

After a few moments, Leo spoke up. "We're still taking revenge on Chiron right?"

Percy and Jason nodded.

"Are we still getting the ice cream?"

Hazel smiled viciously. "Why don't we put it on his tab?"

Frank shuddered. Percy noticed, and asked "Is something the matter?"

He took one look at Hazel, made eye contact with Percy, and whispered " _Never cross Hazel Levesque_."

* * *

Hermes approached Chiron, looking grim. The centaur looked up. "Did they go to the parlor?"

The messenger god looked at him, sadly. This caused Chiron to frown. "Yeah, but they're still going to give you a piece of their mind. They also set the bill on your tab, and they ate a _lot_ of ice cream. With enough leftovers for everyone in camp."

The centaur paled. "Oh _schist_."

" _Can I have a rat now?_ "

" _Shut up, George._ "

* * *

When the demigods arrived, Katie Gardner stormed up to them. "What have you done?" She asked, angrily.

"What happened?"

"Dining pavilion," was all she said pointing in the direction of said area.

All of them broke into a run.

When they arrived they were greeted by the sight of Demeter force-feeding people with cereal that had... _Twinkies?_

"Reyna, Thalia..." Annabeth started.

"It was Reyna's fault." "It was Thalia's fault." They pointed at each other.

Annabeth held her head in her hands. "I don't even want to know. Let's just get Chiron, shall we?"

And off they went to find the doomed centaur.

* * *

 **And that was** ** _The List_**

 **Headcannons are:** ** _Demeter loves Twinkies_**

 **And:** ** _Aphrodite stalks couples in pharmacies_**

 **Also: _Thalia haggles_  
**

 **Lastly:** ** _Frank hates the self-check out  
_**

 **Tune in next time on ~** ** _THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~_**

* * *

 **"Give back those oranges!"**

 **"Not, unless you give me back my city!**

 **"A city-state declared war on me!"**

 **"NO, I BUILT THE WONDER FIRST"**

 **"Sure thing, sunshine."**

* * *

 **Kublai!**


	3. Battle of the Armies

**Welcome to ~ _THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~_ (insert catchy jingle here)**

 **This one's for my fellow Civ V players. Note: It would be best if you kept track of things on a piece of paper, thanks.**

 **And thanks FoxesHuntTheHounds for being my first review, second favorite and follower, to CrimsonArrowXD and Doctorwho1941 for following and QueenOfEternity for favoriting.**

 **Any who, let's begin.**

 **I do not own neither Civilization V, nor Percy Jackson and the Olympians.**

* * *

 **Battle of the Armies**

* * *

"Is everyone ready?" Annabeth asked her companions in the game room of the Big House.

Grunts of agreement spread across the room.

"Okay, on three."

" _One._ " Everyone braced themselves.

" _Two._ " Exchanges of good luck, and ' _I hope you lose first_ ' were heard.

" _Three._ " Annabeth clicked the button on the computer screen in front of her.

* * *

 _ **First Light**_

* * *

In a flash of light, Percy was suddenly on a coast, a desert coast. To the north were some incense plants, the east had some gold outcroppings, the south held an oasis, and right next to him was a river. One good look told him there was desert for miles around, everywhere except along the river was hilly. _Perfect._

With haste, Percy instructed the squadron of warriors with him to go south, for scouting. And, with the remaining people, he started his base at place where ocean and river meet, on top of a hill, within range of the oasis, the incense, and the gold.

Percy had a strong start.

After consulting his advisers, he instructed the scholars to study the clay, and its uses. He had more scouts recruited, with workers to follow, and the residents to do what they can with the incense and the gold.

With a smile on his face, the son of Poseidon thought ' _Let the games begin.'_

* * *

Annabeth's choices were similar to Percy's except she had workers trained first, then the scouts.

Her settlement was on the other side of the continent, a large peninsula defended by mountain ranges, hilly plains as far as the eye could see, a river cut straight through it leading inland.

After some scouting, Annabeth discovered she was close to the Great Barrier Reef.

The daughter of Athena set up her plan. _While waiting to learn how to Write, we should build a shrine, and get a pantheon going._ She scribbled into a small notebook. _Then rush the Great Library. After that we gather settlers to grab the Reef, and have everyone focus on tools_. _The Great Scientist that will arrive should start the Academy, and the next ones will be put in the dung- I mean the lobby of the castle._

The plan was longer than that, but it basically said "GO SCIENCE. Science, science, science. SCIENCE"

* * *

Jason was in a desert, but no coast in sight. He shrugged, he didn't really need one.

All the son of Zeus needed was the mountain behind him, the hills around him, and the mass of sugar along the river he found.

He took longer than the others to find this place, but not too long to be left behind. Once he got settled in, he got the scholars to find out about Mining.

* * *

Leo was very confident with his location. Jungle, and the notable resources were bananas, cocoa, and dyes. ' _This is gonna be great with culture and science.'_ he thought.

But, as he set up he couldn't help but feel doubt. So, to reassure himself he pulled out the paper that indicated which group he was a part of.

It turns out, his doubts were right. ' _Of all the civilizations, why did I choose the ZULUS?'_ He sulked. ' _Worst. Start. Ever.'_

On the bright side, he was near the coast and the jungle ended to the south, so he could set-up his second settlement there.

* * *

Piper was on a different land from the others, but was having a wonderful time. After she settled in, she found two city-states, not that far from her. She was on her own island, but many small ones were close by. A few luxuries on each island, within range of her city.

' _Great Venice start.'_ She thought. ' _Let's get started.'_

The daughter of Aphrodite started schmoozing the city-states of Vatican City and Manila.

* * *

Hazel started at the point where Annabeth's peninsula, and Percy and Jason's desert meet; desert gradually turned into plains, with plenty of resources and several more city-states. About three; one in the peninsula, the others north of the inland desert.

What was weird about Hazel's starting position was that almost all of the closest resources had to be Mined (gold, silver iron, and gems), the rest were horses. _Weird._

Hazel didn't notice and worked on building up her economy and grabbing luxuries as fast as possible.

* * *

Calypso was on Leo's island, at the tip in the tundra. There was copper, deer, and iron. Not a great start, not a bad one, either. She did need luxuries, though needed. Expansion was key.

Despite the un-ideal situation, the Titaness attempted to stay positive. ' _At least there's snow. That's nice. What does it do?'_ With that thought, the queen of Ogygia took out the manual and looked up snow.

 _Songhai, Siam… Aha snow!...Wait...IT'S COMPLETELY USELESS!_

She proceeded to rant about unfair starts, even if there was only one plot of snow in her territory.

* * *

Reyna had a standard start. Some iron, horses, one or two luxuries, a few hills. She was fine with that. What did make her excited was the mountain range literally on her doorstep. From what she could tell, she was completely closed off from the outside world.

Time to play like a turtle. She even brought her favorite turtle hat, hoping it would increase her chances to turtle. She loved turtles.

Little did the Roman know, that she had a neighbor. A very scientific neighbor.

* * *

Thalia had a similar start to Reyna, but no mountains, and she was on Leo's island.

Without a thought, she shouted to her men, "Let's get the military up! We don't want to be invaded, it's kill or be killed here!" But, she did instruct her scholars to focus on amassing research, to find out what is necessary for a library. A Great one, at that.

* * *

Will was in the middle of nowhere, a mix of grasslands and plains, with nothing but livestock, iron, a lake, salt, on an island close to a large continent. Not that bad a start actually, but Will was used to mountain areas. Then again, he was with the Polynesians.

At least he had an immediate ally.

It turns out Nico spawned on the other side the miniature channel. After both scouted around, it was just them in the south, but Nico saw Percy in the north. The younger boy ran away before the son of Poseidon could see him. Percy, surprisingly, knew what he was doing.

Well, Will didn't get what he expected, but, at least he had his Death Boy.

* * *

Nico was annoyed to have the son of Apollo as his first ally, and neighbor, of all things. But, he had to stick to the plan.

Nobody would suspect it, especially since he was Sweden. But, he could make it up to the son of Apollo in the future.

Will was Nico's first target.

* * *

"Hello? Anyone there?"

Frank was hoping he would be with someone, to get an early ally, but no one was there. Not even a city-state.

Just him and the barbarians, and three elephant herds, one cow herd, a river, four hills, and a mountain.

Frank shrugged, he really wanted allies. _Oh well._ Might as well go with Plan B.

The son of Mars took out a small note in his pocket with the words: _build an army, and crush everything in your path. love, dad_

Frank sighed. ' _If you can't see 'em, beat 'em.'_

* * *

Chiron watched his students, amused. They were playing games. At first, the centaur didn't want them to play, but after some convincing, Chiron agreed.

The last time they played... The teacher shuddered. ' _Let's never talk about that again...'_

He inspected everyone's location. Once he was finished, he sat back in his chair up high, and watched the game unfold.

Frank, _as the Indians_ , was alone on an island.

Calypso, Leo, and Thalia were northeast of him (Calypso, _as the French_ , on the top most part of the island, Leo, _as the Zulus_ , in the center, and Thalia, _as the Greeks_ , in the south).

Annabeth, Reyna, Hazel, Percy, Jason, Will, and Nico were on the continent to the far west, the largest one. It took up about half the world they were in (Annabeth, _as Babylon_ , and Reyna, _as Rome_ , were on the eastern peninsula, Hazel, _as the Arabians_ , was at the point where it meets the desert, Jason, _as Egypt_ , and Percy, _as England_ , were on said area which took up the entire western and central area of the island, Nico, _as Sweden_ , was on the southern tip, with Will, _as the Polynesians_ , on an island with a small lake to his east). Will's island was separated from the others by a small channel. Several more islands were dotted all over the place.

Piper, _as Venice_ , was at the central archipelago, the perfect location for sea trade. Hazel's was ideal for land trade. They would make for great allies or rivals, economically.

Chiron couldn't tell who would win. All he could hope as that it didn't end in mass destruction, _again._

Demigods tend to get very competitive.

* * *

 _ **Negotiations**_

* * *

After some wandering around, Percy found Nico, then Will. Post-exchanging embassies and trading luxuries, the "King of England" left. If the look on the "King of Sweden's" face said anything, Percy should avoid him at all costs. Except of course when his bonuses could be exploited.

Soon, he found Jason, at the center of the desert. _His_ desert. Surprisingly, the meeting went well. They happened upon the same oasis, and didn't fight over it ( _for once_ ). After more embassy and luxury exchange, they divided the boundaries of the desert, and set up an alliance. They both saw through Nico's Sweden _'neutral'_ facade and needed defense. So, their meeting did not end in bloodshed, _yet._ The power of the land and the sea would unite against...Sweden, of all things.

The King hoped Annabeth would be proud of his strategy. His choice of enemy, however...

That Great Lighthouse will definitely prove to be useful against his cousin. Against a landlocked nation surrounded by hills, on the other hand...

Percy should have gotten the desert pantheon...

* * *

Annabeth first found Reyna and Hazel. It went surprisingly well. The three concluded that with the "Babylonian Queen's" research levels, the "Roman Empress'" (Reyna liked the change in title, but not _too_ much) production rate, and the "Arabian Princess'" powerful economy, they would be the powerhouse of the planet.

The camel archers, bowmen, ballistae and legions would be a big help.

She started working on the National College once the city of Akkad was established, which meant the Great Barrier Reef was hers. That along with the Great Library, the academy, and, soon enough, the National College, Babylon will be the Science center of the world.

* * *

Jason was plotting, again. He had a new ally in England. He set mines in all of the surrounding hills. All the luxuries were being worked and traded. He even got the Pyramids. Now, he was building the Petra.

' _Once I build up my economy, I could wait for Nico to weaken Percy, and I can take his capital, then Hazel's, and the entire desert would be mine!'_ He chuckled maniacally.

His only worry was that Percy might beat the "Pharaoh of Egypt" to aforementioned building. But, Percy was going for a navy, while Jason was building up a land army. Naturally, Percy would go through all of the naval technologies. Leaving him too late to get the desert wonder.

Inevitable betrayal aside, the alliance was going great. The Pharaoh got the desert pantheon, while Percy got the sea one, so they would prove to be formidable foes to any _Nicos_ who would cross their path.

If they didn't kill each other first.

* * *

Leo was doing better than he thought. Once he got rid of the jungle on the riverside, his populations grew, thus making more cities, getting more luxuries, having a better economy, etc.

The only problem was the two girls surrounding him.

Thalia was gathering city-state allies in the south (about four), while Calypso was settling dangerously close to Leo's own allies; Melbourne and Ur.

The "French Empress" wasn't much of a problem, except for the fact she kept stealing Ur's workers, which in turn made Ur mad, and somehow kept on getting Leo to declare war on her.

That could be negotiated. Somewhat.

The problem was Thalia. The city-states to the south of the Zulus were about 4 miles away from the closest city, Leo's third one. And the "Greek Queen's" armies were amassing at said city-states. So, Leo got into the character of the civilization he was playing as, and invaded.

He managed to take the most powerful of the four, before Hoplite soldiers drove him off.

Thalia tried to negotiate Leo into making peace, but failed. As a result, there was a line of Hoplites and spearmen that met across the center of the island. A silently agreed no-man's zone by the two leaders.

* * *

Piper was having a great time. She was building up a massive economy, bought Manila into her soon-to-be empire, and she was getting close to finishing Machu Picchu.

She already built the Colossus, and several of the guilds when she encountered Annabeth.

A temporary alliance was founded, though Piper was sure the triple alliance would go against her, eventually. She didn't mind, though. There were many people to meet, plenty of trades to route.

Such was life. The "Doge of Venice" did, however, convince the other three to help her diplomatically.

And so, the triple alliance had a fourth member. _For now..._

* * *

Hazel was satisfied with her empire. Her economy was going nicely, and she was almost finished building the Petra. She was also making progress in making Commerce-related social policies.

Reyna and Annabeth were great allies, herself and Piper together had an invincible economy. All that's left was Percy to protect their trade routes and they would be golden, literally.

The triple alliance did come up with a deal, however. It was decided that Hazel would fund the other two, while Reyna recruited units, and Annabeth progressed along in her research, to find ways of improving the economy and the units. A cycle.

Slowly, their combined ranged might gathered at the edge of Hazel's border. Roman legions at the front, then a chain of Babylonian bowmen and composite bowmen, followed by Arabian horsemen which would be eventually replaced by camel archers, and lastly, Reyna's ballistae, they were all a little ways away from the small choke point that an Arabian city took as its home, the entrance to the Babylo-Roman peninsula.

But, the daughter of Pluto had her own plans as well. She wouldn't bother her allies, no, they relied on each other too much to break off the alliance. She was going to ' _give'_ the other desert leaders some money. Not too much, just to push them in the general direction. Of anyone who could get in her way of _schmoozing_ the city-states, and getting delegates for the Congress.

Who cares if it's too early. Free stuff, right?

* * *

Calypso finally had an entire fleet...of workers and work boats. The workers were ' _immigrants'_ from Leo's allies. The boats were hers.

While she was keeping the Zulus busy protecting their city-states, she covertly settled on the set of islands right next to Leo, giving her a non-tundra territory. Slowly, Calypso would turn out to be the queen of the northern side of the continent, and duchess of the surrounding isles. _All of them._ Except Thalia's, they were too far away, and Thalia's. _Sadly._

This left the "Chief of the Zulus" landlocked, except via one of Thalia's city-states. _(Foreshadowing…)_

* * *

While her two allies worked their business, Reyna was maximizing her production rates, and taking advantage of her bonuses.

Another agreement between the girls was that whenever one would get a new city, they would temporarily lend the reins to Reyna ( _pun not intended_ ), so she could have all of the key buildings set up fast. Any building already finished in her capital would take half as much time in other cities.

Following the god of craftsmen was a huge help too.

Though the Roman had no way of knowing, she was sure that the Arab-Romae-Babylo Alliance (and Venice) were at the world's peak. They should have no problems going through their victory conditions.

 _Should._

She hoped that someone didn't steal the show with their cultural prowess.

 _Not the jeans, anything but the jeans..._

* * *

Thalia was having a great time annoying Leo. Apart from their army chain across the island, Thalia's Companion Cavalry was pillaging, pillaging, and pillaging.

' _Great way to get some money'_ , she thought.

Not only that, but she build the Temple of Zeus, not so much for her father, but because Leo needed it. The only problem was that in itself. To get the Temple of Zeus, Thalia needed to start the path of Honor, but it isn't worth it unless you go all the way (also to make up for the Great Library).

Not wanting to further waste her used-up culture, she went all the way. Good for her, because she had more military might than the north. Bad for Leo, because she had more military might than the north.

At least, while the mechanic was occupied, she could still make progress in Patronizing the city-states. Albeit, rather slowly.

* * *

Giant statues, _everywhere_. When Will finally unlocked building Moai statues, he put them everywhere and anywhere he was allowed to. Meaning, anywhere with access to a coast, or a lake. And if he's on an island large enough to fit three cities, and a lake, that's a lot of them.

The Parthenon coupled with a few great works led to early tourism value. The "Polynesian King" was also very lucky in having three idiots, that forgot about culture, as neighbors.

* * *

Nico's deception plan was, to say lightly, was facing _slight_ complications. It was actually very close to completely failing before it even started.

Jason and Percy saw through his neutral facade almost immediately. Will still had no idea. Though, the "Swedish King" did meet the Venetians, struck a deal, and were now planning trade routes. The others were too far away, so they haven't met yet. That meant one target, one neutral, and two potential hostiles.

Nico's only hope now was to shower the two lunatics, with their heads in the sand (literally), in gold (also literally) and hope they lose suspicion.

Later on, he set sail west to see if there was anything worth settling on.

* * *

On the Indian island, things were chugging along nicely. Frank already organized his first elephant army. Eight of the beautiful creatures, followed by spearmen, horsemen, and composite bowmen. He was a bit giddy for the first.

He was almost ready for war. Only one thing, _there was no one to declare war on_.

After about two and a half minutes of brainstorming, a lightbulb- _no, too advanced._ A candle, yes, lit up above his head, as an idea struck him. Or, was that hot wax? Oh well.

He needed to build a boat, India needed a navy.

So with a skip in his step, the son of Mars went to the library, and borrowed " _How to into Boat for Dummies."_ It looked like any For Dummies book, except there was an upside-down Poland flag colored ball with two small white circles as eyes. What was that about?

And so, the "King of India" did his homework.

* * *

' _Things are getting interesting...'_ thought Chiron. Everybody was planning their deceptions and allies. Exploring the globe. Founding religions and pantheons.

The Egyptians listened to the tales of the desert. The English heeded their king's father's guidance. The Romans learned from Vulcan. Babylon appreciated nature. Arabia carved idols. The Zulus wove the paths of the jungle. The Polynesians took advantage of their open pastures. The French danced with the aurora.

It would soon turn out that word of the sea, the desert, the craftsmen, and the aurora were to be spread across the globe.

For once, it was quiet. That wouldn't last for long though, it was agreed that when everyone met each other, talking was allowed. But, the way things were going… Chiron hoped that it would end before Camp nearly imploded.

Yes, it was that bad.

* * *

 _ **War**_

* * *

Soon enough, all the demigods found each other. Thanks to Percy's naval expeditions. He forced everyone on his continent to send out a scout along with his own navy to find the others, as they encountered more people, more boats joined their convoy, leading to the founding of the World Congress.

This was where it falls apart. The tension between the nations was so strong that anything could make them attack each other.

* * *

The moment Percy spread his religion to Jason's cities, their squabbles started.

"Get you useless religion away from my cities!"

"What do you mean it's useless? It has tithe for crying out loud!"

"I am a landlocked country you moron."

"Oh- Wait, Stop spreading _your_ religion to my cities!"

"Half of them are desert-based."

"But, they have coasts!"

"Some of which don't even have fish, which y _our_ pantheon is based on! So, you should let Desertism enter your cities." Jason finished smugly.

Percy shrugged, much to the Pharaoh's surprise, and the Englishman proceeded to let knights and long bows attack.

"WHAT THE HADES, PERCY? I thought we were _bros?_ " Jason wasn't taking this well.

"It's either that or your pathetic excuse of a religion."

"But, it benefits you more than your own religion."

"SHUT UP! NOBODY DISSES FISHISM AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! CHARGE!"

"Attack the English, and their _crumpets_ , and their _top hats_ , and their...their... A little help Percy?"

"Soccer?"

"Yes, ATTACK THE INFERIORS FOR THEIR _SOCCER!_ "

"AAAAAAHHHH"

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH"

The two boys proceeded to have what looked like a cat fight in the desert. Leaving Percy's navy to itself.

* * *

Meanwhile, the Arab-Romae-Babylo Alliance (and Venice) was having its own fall-outs.

"You were supposed to vote for banning Greece," Venice chided. The Doge was trying to prevent anyone else from winning through diplomacy. That was her win and hers alone, apparently.

"We couldn't do that, Thalia is one of the strongest in military and good at strategy. We can't anger her, she would find a way to cripple our system," argued Rome.

"We had a deal."

"Well, the deal's off."

Piper gasped, baffled. How dare they ignore her requests? She was the Doge of Venice, for crying out loud.

"Well, if that's true, then I'll have my _other_ allies help me." Piper smirked. " _Oh Jason..._ "

Silence

"Jason, where are you?" The charmspeaker asked angrily.

"Uh Pipes, I'm a little busy right now."

The Doge looked to outside the window of the World Congress in Thebes (the Egyptian capital) only to see her boyfriend battle to the death with her best friend's (not in here, she's not) boyfriend. _How did they not notice that before?_

"Oh schist." As she backed away from both her former allies and the window, she accidentally hit the Declare War button. Piper frantically tried to undo as the Roman approached.

"Where are your allies now?" She grinned evilly. Because three girls had a defensive pact with each other and with Percy, Piper basically declared war on the four most powerful players in the world.

"Ummm..." The Doge laughed nervously. She pointed away from herself. "Look, it's Frank!"

Frank looked up at them and waved, the three girls looked confused. "What was that about?" They turned to their new enemy only to find her missing, along with something else. "HEY, WHERE'S MY TURTLE HAT?!" Reyna exclaimed with a new fire in her eyes. Nobody. Takes. Her. Turtles. _Ever._

"There!" Annabeth pointed at a retreating Piper. "After her!"

"GIVE ME BACK MY TURTLE HAT!" Reyna screamed murderously, and triple alliance ran after her.

"Time to execute Operation: Get Reyna's Turtle Hat and Hope it's Powers Would Let Piper Turtle as well."

"That's a long name."

Piper shrugged. The daughter of Aphrodite proceeded to run out of the capital city straight to her own, only to be followed by musketmen, crossbowmen, camel archers, cannons, and a very angry Reyna.

"DESTROY THE DEFILER, RETURN THE TURTLE HAT TO ME!"

Annabeth and Hazel went home to continue their duties.

Jason shouted from the battlefield, "Meeting adjourned, you can all go home now." He was paying attention the whole time?

* * *

Will and Nico were watching the Northerners kill each other from Stockholm, Nico's capital.

"They are all idiots," Nico sighed.

"Yeah, they shouldn't resort to war," Will replied.

The King of Sweden remained silent.

"Hey, what's wrong?" asked the Polynesian.

"N-nothing's wrong," the other said nervously. _'What if Will saw through my facade.'_

"Really?" The son of Apollo looked unconvinced. He leaned towards the son of Hades to kiss and comfort him, but was interrupted by a messenger entering the room.

Nico, annoyed by the sudden interruption, snapped, "What is it?"

The messenger paled, he knew never to interrupt the king when he was with guests. "S-sir, a message from the World Congress."

The King was intrigued. "What does it say?"

"It says _'Polynesia is now culturally influential over Sweden.'_ "

The son of Hades slowly turned toward his boyfriend. "Oh really," he said very slowly.

Will rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Sorry?"

The King turned towards the messenger. "Tell the Congress, we have another war on our hands..."

A few moments after the messenger left, the Polynesian ran onto his frigate and rallied his men to defend, while a very angry son of Hades showed why Sweden could stay neutral, with Caroleans and Hakkapelliittas.

* * *

While there was war in the west, the east was sadly not excluded. Thalia and Leo were still at war, this time over two small islands. Little did they know, a certain seaman also had his eyes set on the place.

So, it was a big surprise for Leo when he found his only coastal city on the mainland was taken, after he settled on the Orange Islands (reference, he he).

Ergo, more squabbling commenced.

"Give back those oranges! RULE BRITANNIA!" Percy spoke, angrily.

"One, they weren't yours to begin with. Two, Not unless you give back my city!"

"Sure."

"Wait, what?" Leo was confused. It was _that_ easy?

"Yeah, let's trade the deeds on three."

"Three." The two boys exchanged the deeds to the city, only to have the Greeks charge into both of and Percy went to defend their newly received cities, only to accidentally hit each other. According to the rules of the World Congress, they were at war.

"You did that on purpose!"

"No, I didn't!"

"Uh huh"

"Nu uh"

Somehow, Thalia got dragged into the squabble.

* * *

Apart from the allied war on Piper, Hazel had her own problems. She was about to finish the Globe Theater only to have it vanish into thin air. According to the Congress, it was Calypso who had the wonder.

The Princess proceeded to declare war on the French.

"What was that for?"

"I built the Globe Theater first."

"NO, I BUILT THE WONDER FIRST"

"Sure thing, sunshine."

"Only Leo gets to call me that."

"Oh really, sunshine?"

It also turned out that Calypso was stealing technology from Hazel, and siphoning some money of off her, which actually justified Hazel's declaration of war. Not that the two actually paid attention.

* * *

Frank was alone on his island, not a single thing was happening...to him, at least.

But, when Frank saw a city-state right outside his latest city, he grinned.

The son of Mars proceeded to pillage the city-state, and anger it.

"A city-state declared war on me!" the son of Mars giggled, euphoric. _Best. Day. EVER._

So, the Indian King led his pachyderms and troops to the edge of Prague, only to have them decimated. _You should've upgraded the units_ , his father scolded.

"B-but the elephants..." Frank cried out.

At least he had a boat...that might have been sunk by the Czechs as well.

* * *

The world turned into utter chaos, as Chiron watched.

Alliances broken, wars started, and oranges taken. It was horrible. The worst part was the arguing demigods, it was absolutely appalling. He thought it would be peaceful, for once.

Lesson learned; sound-proof the walls.

Eventually it turned out to end in what Chiron expected. The Arab-Romae-Babylo Alliance went to space, leaving the others behind. England became the dictator of the oceans, allied with the Indians, the French and the Polynesians. They would turn to control the new world order with their culture, the French and the Polynesians. The Venetians sided with Sweden and Greece, leaving the Zulus to run amok in their island while his neighbors left to the larger continent.

The good thing was nobody was eliminated. And now they can end this.

The centaur walked to the edge of the room and flicked a switch. The lights turned on, and the demigods groaned at the sudden flash of light. They were playing a round of Civilization V, in the game room of the Big House.

"Okay everyone-" He clapped. "that was a good game, but remember to be don't fight each other in real life. It is just a game. You can all go home now." Chiron dismissed the demigods and went to bed.

Once the centaur left, everyone looked at each other. "One more round?"

"Alright."

* * *

 **And that Battle of the Armies! Apologies for so many linebreaks, but it was necessary.**

 **Who do you think should've won?**

 **I could make this an actual story if you'd like. It would go differently, but still happen in this game.  
**

 **Headcannons are: _Demigods are more dangerous in video games than they are in real life_**

 ** _Reyna loves turtles_**

 ** _Mars sends Frank advice when playing games_**

 ** _Polandball is featured on For Dummies books_**

 ** _Frank reads For Dummies books_**

 **Tune in next time for _~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~_ (insert catchy jingle here). _  
_**

* * *

 **"Hey Nico, I know what we're gonna do today!"  
**

 **"ANNABETH...Leo and Nico are building a nature reserve for automatons."**

 **"BLUE PANCAKES!"**

* * *

 **Sayonara Percy the Seaweed Brain! _oops, spoiler ;)_**


	4. Leo & Nico

**Let's bring Chapter 4!**

 **Here is ~** _ **THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~**_ **(Insert catchy jingle here)**

 **Thanks to readintherain. Thatt's sort if the point. Random situations, I don't really like it when people turn OOC. It makes them less funny, in my opinion, at least.**

 **I don't own PJATO or Phineas and Ferb**

 **Songs to listen to: Perry the Platypus Theme (Song), Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc Jingle (not actual name)**

* * *

 **Leo & Nico**

* * *

Percy, Leo and Nico were sitting under Thalia's pine tree, lounging around with nothing to do.

After about 30 seconds Leo snapped his fingers. "Hey Nico, I know what we're gonna do today!"

He looked to his pseudo-brothers. "We're gonna build a nature reserve, but with automatons!"

Nico shrugged. "Sure, why not. I'm bored."

Soon, Leo started scribbling schematics, and Nico asked Percy if he wanted to help. "Hey Percy- Wait, where's Percy?" The Seaweed Brain seemed to have disappeared. Nico shrugged it off as looking for one Annabeth Chase and dragged Leo to Bunker 9 to get started.

* * *

Percy watched the two dark-haired teens walk off, as he put on a fedora and entered a conveniently placed rock-shaped elevator.

The son of Poseidon dropped into a large underground lair, chrome designed (white with blue stripes), with state-of-the-art technology everywhere. He sat on a chair in front of the large screen TV flashing the words 'Incoming Transmission' in bright red.

Percy pressed the call button directly in front of his seat.

The screen came to life and showed Coach Hedge in a bellhop outfit. "Greetings Agent P, we're having a costume party, and Grover made me go as a bellhop."

"Hi Agent P!" Grover's hand appeared on the screen.

"Anyway, Dr. Gaea has purchased some suspicious materials-" A list of said materials popped up on screen, along with a picture of the goddess in question. "We need you to find out what she is up to and stop it. Good luck Agent P," Coach signed of with a salute.

Once the screen went dark, Percy ran over to his hover craft.

 _"Doo-bee-Doo-bee-do-bah  
Doo-bee-Doo-bee-do-bah  
Doo-bee-Doo-bee-do-bah  
Doo-bee-Doo-bee-do-bah."_

Percy jumped over the hood and into the driver's seat.

 _"Percy!"_

The vehicle came to life, and it lifted off the ground into an escape tunnel.

 _"He's a semi-aquatic, egg-headed half-blood of action!_ (Hey!) _"_

The son of Poseidon put on sunglasses.

 _"He's a son of Poseidon who'll never flinch from fray!"_

The Seaweed Brain flinched from a pebble tossed at him.

 _"He's got more than just rad skills"_

Water coiled around the hovercraft.

 _"He's got a three-foot sword that kills"_

The Hero of Olympus uncapped with Riptide in one hand, and held the steering wheel in the other.  
 _  
"And the half-bloods swoon whenever they hear him say"_

"BLUE PANCAKES," was shouted across the cavern

 _"He's Percy! Percy the Seaweed Brain!"_

' _Why did I let Grover make the theme song_ ' Percy thought, exasperatedly.

 _"Percy!"_

Percy slowed down the hovercraft.  
 _  
"AGENT P!"_

The son of Poseidon approaches a large angel-shaped building. **  
**

* * *

Piper was in the Big House getting ready for her date with Jason. Hazel and Reyna were keeping her company. She was combing her hair when she saw a certain son of Hephaestus and son of Hades build automatons.

Hazel's eyes brightened. "Oh look, Leo and Nico are building something."

The daughter of Aphrodite narrowed her eyes and ran to her best friend, present company excluded. "ANNABETH!"

Annabeth was about to talk to Chiron when Piper tackled her. "What is it Piper?" She asked kindly, but she was quite irritated with the other girl's antics.

"Leo and Nico are building a nature reserve for automatons!"

"Uh huh" It was obvious Annabeth wasn't convinced. "Look, I need to talk to Chiron, so can you show me later? Okay, thanks."

"But-"

"No _buts_."

Piper sighed. "Yes ma'am."

"Besides, don't you have that date with Jason to worry about?"

The charmspeaker's eyes widened. "He's gonna be here in **FIFTEEN** minutes." She ran back upstairs to find Hazel and Reyna missing, but she barely noticed.

* * *

Calypso, Frank, Will and Thalia walked up to the field where Leo and Nico were working.

Calypso kissed Leo on the cheek. "Hey guys, watcha doin'?"

Leo grinned. "We're building a nature reserve for automatons. Wanna help?"

"Sure"

Hazel and Reyna also happened to show up. "We can help too, if you want."

"Cool, the more the better."

* * *

*Imagine a montage of them building a nature reserve with automatons.*

*Also imagine the theme song whenever they build stuff.*

* * *

 _"Primordial Goddess Evil Incorporated!"_

Agent P covertly sneaked in through the front door of the penthouse of the large building. It looked like a large purple laboratory with a balcony overlooking the city.

He slowly approached a purple curtain in the center of the room. _'This is weird, normally it's some sort of gigantic ray gun with a horrible name,'_ he thought.

The moment Agent P touched the fabric, chains wrapped around his hands and feet, bringing him to the ground. The apprehensive trumpet sounds indicated it was obviously a trap.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Percy the Seaweed Brain," said Dr. Gaea, a tall, ivory white-skinned woman with ebony black hair and leaf green eyes. She dressed like a pharmacist. "Meddling with my plans, I see."

She paused for his reply. Nothing.

"Well, if you're not going to say anything... Let's get on with the routine, shall we?"

Without waiting for a reply she started up her only successful invention, the ' _Flashback-inator_.' A bunch of helmets connected together that project one's memories or one's thoughts to the other helmets. One alone can be used to project images on a screen. Percy 'borrowed' some for Camp uses (for his and the other guys' 'personal fantasies').

"You see back in the old days, which was a few months before you nearly vaporized me, everyone, and I mean _everyone_ , in the evil business had an evil minion, except me. I was a laughing stock for years. Well, not anymore." She took off the inators.

The earth goddess-pharmacist-thing held onto the curtain. "BEHOLD! My own evil minion!" The evil minion was revealed to be a ten-foot tall mechanical man, dressed like a janitor. He had a giant spear head mop, and everything else a janitor needs. His master pointed to the prisoner. "DESTROY PERCY THE SEAWEED BRAIN!"

The Titan stepped off his platform, picked up the son of Poseidon, and with large glowing eyes said, "Hi, my name is Bob! How can I help you this fine day?" Bob's eyes stopped glowing. He placed the secret agent back down on the floor and patted his back. "I will go bake some cookies," he muttered as he walked into the kitchen.

Gaea sweatdropped. "Well, that was unexpected. But, I had a backup anyway! Behold the Vapor-" Before the sentence even finished, Agent P ran up to the machine, pressed the self-destruct button, and, on his hang glider, flew away from the balcony.

The goddess was swept from her feet. Just before the machine exploded, some words flew across the city skyline. "CURSE YOU, PERCY THE SEAWEED BRAIN!"

 _"Agent P"_

* * *

"Hey Jason!" Said demigod approached.

"Hey Piper, ready for our date?" He asked as he pecked her on the cheek.

She smiled. "Of course, where are we going?" ' _Please be anywhere away from Nico and Leo..._ '

"Nico and Leo set up that nature reserve, so why not? I heard it's really cool and all...

"Sure, why not?" The daughter of Aphrodite replied, cheerily. Though, she was having a panic attack inside. _'What if Annabeth catches me? I can finally prove to her the boys did it,'_ the thought ended with an evil smile on her face.

"Uh, Piper..."

"Yeah?"

"You're using your plotting face again."

"Oh, sorry. Come on let's go!" She dragged Jason off to the new park in Camp Half-Blood.

* * *

When the small group of demigods finished building, a large crowd flooded into the reserve.

"This is amazing!"

"There's a unicorn, and a lion, and a mammoth..."

One person was really weird. He thought the entire zoo was synthetic, from the trees to the other people. "Wow, this is some really realistic water..." He patted Nico on the back. "Good job," he praised as he walked off.

"Did he just say _realistic water_?"

Leo looked at the shrinking silhouette. "Weird"

Frank ran up to the two. "Guys, the animals are flying away!"

"What?!"

"Apparently, somebody here-" Frank looks to Leo. "-programmed every automaton to fly."

Nico used his trademark death glare on the guilty son of Hephaestus, who raised his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry, please don't kill me," he begged.

"You-"

* * *

Jason and Piper were having a great time. Until Piper saw Annabeth approach the Big House.

Her eyes widened with excitement and ran towards the daughter of Athena, leaving Jason to go back inside, wanting to see everything before they conveniently disintegrated. ' _This is usually when the fun stuff disappears,_ ' he thought.

"ANNABETH!"

"Yeah?"

"Come on, come on! You have to see what Leo and Nico are up to," Piper yelled as she dragged Annabeth towards the facility in question.

As Piper was trying to explain what happened, Annabeth interrupted her, "I don't see any automatons."

"What!" Piper turned around to see nothing but their friends sitting under a tree. "B-but..."

"Hey guys!" The daughter of Athena waved as she and Piper approached.

"Hey Annabeth! We built an automaton reserve today!" Leo exclaimed happily.

"Oh really? This one's smaller than I heard." She gestured to the scale model, with miniature automatons. The remains of the large facility.

"But, but-"

"Who's up for hot fudge?"

Everyone screamed, "I DO I DO I DO!"

"Come on Piper."

"Okay..." The daughter of Aphrodite followed, sulking.

* * *

While the group was eating in the dining pavilion, Percy suddenly appeared with them without the fedora, of course.

"Oh there you are, Percy." Annabeth kissed him on the cheek. "Did you have an exciting day?"

Percy shrugged. "Blue pancakes," was all he said.

Everyone took that as good enough of an answer and continued eating.

Jason was trying to comfort Piper. "Don't worry, something will happen again tomorrow."

Piper glared at the two boys menacingly as one bickered with his girlfriend, and the other bickered with his soon-to-be boyfriend. Weird parallels. "They are so going to get busted."

* * *

 **And that was that. Weird. Anyways, here are today's headcannons:  
**

 _ **Percy wears fedoras and goes by Agent P**_

 _ **Coach Hedge and Grover direct him in his mission against evil**_

 _ **Grover makes theme songs**_

 _ **Gaea is an evil pharmacist who make giant machines with self-destruct buttons**_

 **And many other parallels with Phineas & Ferb (I love that show)  
**

 **I just realized there is a book about a platypus named Percy. Wow**

 **This idea actually came from listening to the Perry the Platypus theme when I accidentally replaced Perry with Percy.**

 **Anyways,**

 **Tune in next time on _~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~_ (Insert catchy jingle here)**

* * *

 **"They may be good for _you_ , but they are nowhere near worthy of my charm."**

 **"What charm?"**

 **"Mark my words Leo Valdez, you _will_ eat your vegetables, whether you like it or not..."  
**

* * *

 **Au revoir!**


	5. Hypocrites

**This one seemed a bit weak to me. But, oh well.**

 **Thanks to geekgirl1232 and demoniccat5574.**

 **Let's bring it!**

 **Welcome to _~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~_ (insert catchy jingle here).**

* * *

 **Hypocrites**

* * *

It was lunchtime in the Camp Half-Blood. The sun was shining, the monsters in the closets- _woods_ were howling, the demigods were eating to their heart's content in the open-air dining pavilion. It was a great day.

"LEO"

On second thought…

"You have to at least try it," Piper yelled as she tried to move said fire-user closer to the newly installed salad bar, right next to the sacrificial fires (not Aztec). Piper tried to charmspeak him into eating some vegetables, but his hatred for the plants triumphed even that of the daughter of love's charm powers.

"No, I don't wanna!" Leo whined as he tried to escape. "Vegetables aren't delicious."

"They are good for you, and they taste great if you A) put some salad dressing and B) actually try eating the things," she argued.

"They may be good for _you_ , but they are nowhere near worthy of my charm." Both demigods halted, as the male wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

"What charm?" Calypso interjected from behind her boyfriend's back.

To prove his self-acclaimed charm, Leo did what happens naturally when someone sneaks up on him, squeal like a baby. "Calypso, when did you get there? I mean, of course I have charm. That's how you fell in love with me, remember?"

The daughter of Atlas narrowed her eyes. "First of, I'm pretty sure you fell in love with me because of _my_ charm. Second, Piper's right about the vegetables." She ended as the anger disappeared from her eyes. The annoyance was still there, though.

Several of the campers snickered as one of the Seven was being interrogated by his step-sister and his girlfriend, two people shorter than him. The look on his face said this was not a happy experience.

"If you try at least one salad, I'll let you off the hook," the Native American tried to negotiate. Emphasis on tried.

The Hispanic boy crossed his arms. "No, I will not allow myself to eat any of that." Shaking his head in the general direction of the salad bar.

"But, didn't you eat vegetarian tacos on our first quest?" Piper remembered distinctly Leo being kind on her, and not serving any meat on the journey to save Hera.

Leo grinned triumphantly. "Ah, you see my dear friend. When none of you were looking I exchanged the veggies into meat."

His best friend's mood did not dampen at all, in fact, her glare intensified. "You switched the vegetables? And to think I was so worried when you got obsessed with Fonzies…" She continued on to rant.

Leo looked about desperately. He needed someone to distract Piper and Calypso, and escape. _Where is Jason when you look for him, honestly the one time you really need him he disappears._ Of course Leo was exaggerating, but he'd rather face Gaea again than face Piper on one of her 'vegetable rants' as Percy so eloquently put it. Also an exaggeration.

After about five minutes of more ranting, Leo got an idea. "If you are so sure I'm missing out in my diet, then you're being a hypocrite."

Piper gasped, surprised. "How _dare_ you Leo?" She started furiously. At this point the spectators backed away. "You know exactly why I am a vegetarian."

Leo smirked. "If you're not gonna eat meat, I won't eat vegetables. It's about time you had some protein." On the outside, he was smug, on the inside, he was absolutely terrified. He knew why Piper was a vegetarian, but he needed a distraction, fast. This was going down quickly, again.

The daughter of Aphrodite frowned. "If it is a war you want, it's a war you'll get. Mark my words Leo Valdez, you _**will**_ eat your vegetables, whether you like it or not. I will make sure of it..."

Well, that went well.

* * *

Piper peeked through her binoculars to get a view of Leo in the forges of the Hephaestus cabin. She had her hair tied in a bun, covered by a black ski hat. She was wearing black skinny jeans (which were a bit loose on her), a black T-shirt, and a black jacket.

Calypso was laying on the grass next to her, wearing a similar outfit.

"Soon Valdez, you will dine tonight…" Piper muttered under her breath. She turned to the Titaness. "Okay, here's the plan-"

"Is that my pants?"

Both girls slowly turned their heads to see a confused son of Hades, and an amused son of Apollo.

"What in the name of my father are you two doing in my pants?!" Nico asked again. _Note to self: re-lock wardrobe,_ he mentally put up a reminder.

Calypso pointed at Piper, she laughed sheepishly. "We're trying to get Leo to eat vegetables, and we can't let him find us or else Leo will force me to eat meat."

Will's eyes widened. "What now?"

The girls shrugged. "He thinks that Piper's vegetarianism is hypocritical because she's forcing him to eat something not regularly in his diet.. Calypso sighed.

The healer lay down next to the girls. "How do I help? Leo has to know it is obviously not the same, what with the fibers, and the vitamins, and the…"

As his boyfriend rambled and the two girls listened, Nico backed away and headed towards the forges. He may not agree with Leo wanting to force Piper into eating something she doesn't really need, he didn't want the fire-user to go overboard. But, Nico wanted some revenge from _the incident._ Also, from the tone of their voices, they were going to bash McDonald's (again). _Nobody_ bashes McDonald's and gets away with it. Away from Nico, at least.

* * *

Polyphemus looked to his sheep, goats and sheep-goats fondly.

He was about to pick up one of the lambs up when he sneezed.

* * *

Leo and Nico were watching Piper walk on the shore of the lake.

"Ready?"

"Yeah," Leo whispered as he nocked an arrow with a strip of bacon instead of the normal Celestial bronze head.

"Aim," the son of Hades raised his hand as he waited for Piper to slow down.

"Fire" The moment the daughter of Aphrodite stopped at the dock, Leo let go of the arrow. It flew agonizingly slow towards the unknowing vegetarian target. Once the arrow was five feet from Piper, she ducked and it struck onto a hardwood post behind her.

Suddenly aware of the arrow, the target went into alert. She examined the arrow and realized it had some meat on it. _Leo._

Piper scanned the horizon, trying to find the assailants, but was surprised when blond hair mixed with black came into view. Without realizing it, Piper walked in on one of Percy and Annabeth's ' _bonding'_ sessions. Not wanting it to get any more heated, she cleared her throat.

Percy jumped into the lake out of surprise, and Annabeth blushed when she realized someone was watching them.

As the son of Poseidon hoisted himself back on the dock, Piper explained her situation to Annabeth, completely ignoring what she saw, much to their relief.

"So Leo is out to get you to eat meat because he thinks you're being a hypocrite?" The daughter of Athena asked, fixing her clothes.

"Yeah, he's acting really childish." Piper confirmed.

"It makes sense though," Percy spoke up.

Both girls looked at him bemused. "Why is that Seaweed Brain?" Annabeth asked.

"Well, he just wants you to try something you haven't eaten in years-," he gestured to Piper. "and you want to do the same. I'm just saying if you want Leo to have a full diet, maybe you should at least try as well."

Annabeth looked at him with an unreadable expression. "Percy, that was the-"

"The best speech you've ever heard?" He interrupted.

"The _worst_ idea you've ever had. Do you honestly think Leo of all people will actually do something like that?! It is _Leo_ for crying out loud!..." More rambling.

Percy narrowed his eyes and ran to find Leo. _If they weren't going to listen to him, then so will he. Wait, that made no sense. He will help Leo talk some sense into Piper. There._

* * *

Soon, most of the demigod were divided and took part in this war. Piper managed to get Jason, Reyna, Grover, Hazel, Katie Gardner, and several others.

Leo was supported by Frank, the Stolls, Clarisse, Cecil, Lou Ellen, and along with more people.

Anyone not caught in the crossfire took cover in either their cabins or the Big House.

* * *

Connor looked to his brother. "On three."

"Four!" The two sons of Hermes leapt out of a tree and pounced onto Piper, both holding chicken nuggets.

"Eat that, Piper!" Connor shouted, stuffing the food into her mouth.

"Piper?" The girl they pounced on asked, after she swallowed. She turned to look at them, and at that moment the Stolls brothers found out what fear truly felt like. "It's me, you idiots! How could you mistake me for Piper?"

The two smiled nervously. "Uh, forgive us? It was just a misunderstanding."

The daughter of Demeter started laughing menacingly. "Oh, I'll forgive you alright-" The two sighed in relief. "After I give you two what you deserve." Katie's eyes glowed emerald green and the plants started swaying in their direction.

Connor did what he thought was the right thing. Push his brother onto the crazy daughter of the crazy cereal lady and run.

Katie looked murderously at the shrinking boy in the distance, and then the identical copy on top of her. Travis did the same only with terrified eyes. She pushed him of her and crossed her arms as if waiting for an explanation.

The son of Hermes stumbled as he backed away from her with arms raised as if to keep her away. "I-it was Leo's idea. He made Connor make me do this to Piper. Please don't kill me, I'm too young to die."

Katie rolled her eyes. "I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at Leo for starting this mess. That doesn't mean you don't get a punishment though." She hoisted her boyfriend up and dragged him into the forest.

"What about Connor?"

Katie snapped her fingers and Connor's legs were wrapped in grass that dragged him headfirst into the lake.

The prisoner looked at her anxious. "What are you going to do to me?"

"I'm going to tie you up and you'll become Mrs. O'Leary's toy." She uttered nonchalantly.

"How long?"

"Until you beg for mercy."

"Then what?"

"I missed you last week."

They continued in silence. To Katie, this was going to be hilarious. For Travis, he was going to be traumatized. At least what happens after will be good (nothing extremely inappropriate, thank you very much).

Mrs. O'Leary never had so much fun with a realistic demigod toy before.

* * *

Jason and Hazel spotted Percy and Nico running towards the general direction Piper's current hiding place, near the kitchens. Piper was hiding as a result of the accident with Katie, and Leo didn't want to take any chances so he hid too.

Before the two could get a could look around the area though, the children of Rome stopped them. "Well, well, well. Look at what we have here," Hazel started.

Nico stared at his sister. "You should just leave, sis, you need to find Leo anyway."

"Or what, you'll attack us?" Jason mocked.

"Exactly," finished Percy as water from the clouds and the lake slithered its way to him, coiling around him, forming a whirlpool.

Nico closed his eyes and shadows were literally pouring into his own, making him look almost dressed in darkness.

Hazel looked unfazed. "If you want a fight, then it's a fight you'll get," she replied as she held her hands up to the sky as every movable precious stone and metal in the area floated towards them. And, if they are near the kitchens, that's a lot of metal.

Jason, not wanting to be left out, had the wind blow around him, forming another elemental cyclone. Sparks of electricity and the smell of ozone spread out from the cone.

"FOR VEGETABLES!"

"FOR MEAT"

The children of the Big Three charged at each other, wreaking havoc upon the small field near the kitchens. They were dangerously close to killing each other because of _vegetables? What has life come to?_

* * *

Thalia watched from afar, amused at how her brother and cousins could be so childish. That was until Will ran up to her. She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. She was on Team Leo (as much as she wouldn't like to admit).

Will smiled cheekily. "Now that those four are occupied, all that's left is you."

"And what are you gonna do, you know we can't fight with archery?" asked Thalia, intrigued. If they used archery, one accidental hit might be lethal. Ironically, using their powers might be safer. Only, what was _Will's_ powers?

The son of Apollo's smile grew wider. "This."

The Huntress was blinded as a ball of pure light struck the ground at her feet. She looked back at Will once black spots left her eyes, only to see him literally wrapped up in light, like Nico.

On instinct, Thalia flicked her wrist and lightning fell from the sky. Not at Will, but at her. Electricity arced around her, energy flowed in and on her person, her eyes glowed bright electric blue, like the others, except theirs glowed different colors.

Without a word, the two demigods literally surrounded in energy charged at each other. Flashes of blue and gold and white lit up the forest, making it look beautiful from afar. But, it was terrifying up close. During the fight Thalia asked, constantly interrupted by something. "How. Can. You. Do. That?"

For a brief moment the two caught up with their breaths. The son of Apollo shrugged. "While I was helping Nico re-learn his _erebokinesis_ , I found out I have _photokinesis_. Guess it's true then. Opposites attract." Will smiled as his hands held golden orbs again, and the fight continued.

The only thing on Thalia's mind apart from 'not dying' was _Why does saying those words make us sound like superheroes?_

* * *

Chiron watched the 'war' go on from Thalia's tree. _I leave Camp for two hours, and it has already went into chaos?_ Why Chiron left is his business. Though getting some hair dye for his tail is _quite_ embarrassing, so let's not talk about it.

As far as he could tell there were six orbs clashing around the area of the kitchens. One was grey and translucent, he could vaguely see Jason within, and another made of stones and metal pushed against one made of pure darkness and another made of water. A little bit away from the four was another translucent ball, electric blue, against one made of pure light. It hurt if he focused too much on that one, but it was vaguely golden.

Closer to the forest he could make out massive plant-like tendrils attempt to contain a massive black dragon.

Eerie green mist surrounding the Big House looked as if it was creeping its way towards a girl with a wand pointing towards the cloud, shouting spells, throwing charms, breaking vials.

In the arena, a short-haired brunette fought against someone with long black hair. Spear against sword. It appeared that it was Clarisse and Reyna.

In the center near the hearth, fire balls were being tossed at a girl who was literally convincing them to go back to their creator.

Scattered across the camp were Romans and Greeks, either fighting with each other or against. Chiron would've been worried of an impending civil war except for the fact that he overheard Cecil from the Hermes cabin shout something about 'vegetables' and 'hypocrites' as the boy was being chased Grover and his pipes.

A little after that, Chiron just sat down beside Thalia's pine with Argus, Peleus and the demigods not participating, and waited for the campers to tire. No point in risking his health over something like this.

Besides, he had a chance to assess the battlers abilities, to see if they need training to hone their powers. Also, it may or may not be entertaining. He also may or may not have gotten some of the nymphs to get everyone popcorn.

* * *

Three hours later the fights were _not_ winding down, they were still at it. If anything, the battle was getting _worse_. Chiron wasn't even sure if he could approach anymore. Too much energy was being released, anyone who would even walk near the areas could be severely injured.

With an idea, the centaur ran into the Big House which Rachel had moved away from, thankfully. He hurried into his wheelchair then into the bathroom, and quickly made a rainbow. _Desperate times call for desperate measures._ He cleared his throat as he threw a drachma into the rainbow.

"Oh Iris, goddess of the rainbow show me…"

 _Cliffhangers? Sure, why not :P Guess who it is_

* * *

As per instructed by the mystery person, Chiron had the uninvolved demigods attempt to push the battlers closer to the heart of camp, which was the hearth. To persuade the weary ones, the centaur offered desert privileges for three weeks. Unsurprisingly, everyone present volunteered, even Argus.

Soon the battlers were subtly pushed closer to the hearth. As slow as it was, they did it.

Once all of them were within twenty feet of each other, they took notice and started teaming up. The 'war' once again became two-sided.

That is until the hearth's flame rose three stories into the sky, grabbing the attention of everyone. The elemental orbs lowered to the ground, but didn't fade. Their masters cautious of the sudden predicament. The flames died down to reveal a very livid goddess. She wore simple brown robes with a similarly colored cloak pulled over her head. Instead of the normal fire-eyes, Hestia had _very_ angry fiery red normal eyes (that made sense).

She looked across the green, stopping her gaze at the previously battling demigods. Her gaze looked as if it was daring them to keep up their act.

Once everyone calmed down, and the destructive forces faded, Percy stuttered. "L-lady Hestia, w-what are you doing here?"

Hestia slowly turned to Percy. Her glare was so intimidating, the son of Poseidon averted his gaze. "First, I told you to call me Aunt. Second, I heard that you are fighting. May I ask why?"

Percy pointed to Piper and Leo, who in turn gave him a ' _Thanks for the help'_ look. They smiled at the goddess of the hearth, and those smiles immediately wavered when she looked at them.

"You see Lady, I mean, Aunt Hestia, Leo here-" She gestured to her step-brother. "Didn't want to…" As she explained Hestia's eyes softened.

Of course they weren't that lucky.

A bit after Piper finished, Hestia exploded. Both literally and figuratively.

"So let me get this straight. You-" She pointed to the daughter of Aphrodite. "-wanted him-" She pointed to the son of Hephaestus. "-to eat his vegetables. And because he didn't want to he accused you of being a hypocrite and started a war which you gladly returned because you didn't want to do the thing you wanted to do to him but with meat?"

"Uh, yes?" Leo said as if it was a question rather than a statement.

Hestia looked at everyone with an unreadable expression. When she looked back at the culprits, she shouted at a decibel higher than even Gaea when she 'visited' a few days ago. "WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU TWO THINKING?!" Her voice was so loud it produced shockwaves. "YOU ALMOST CAUSED ANOTHER CIVIL WAR BECAUSE OF _VEGETABLES?!_ YOU NEARLY BROUGHT IN FOUR OTHER PANTHEONS BECAUSE OF THIS! DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH STRESS YOU'VE CAUSED US? YOU DESERVE PUNISHMENT!"

Leo and Piper were on the ground, trying to crawl away. "We didn't mean it! We just got a bit carried away!"

"A _BIT_ CARRIED AWAY?!..." More rambling. Why was there so much rambling today?

After five minutes the goddess of the hearth calmed down. "I am so sorry. I got carried away myself didn't I?" She laughed nervously and waved her hand as if to shoo the bad energy away, everyone joined her.

Piper and Leo looked hopeful. "Does this mean-" "You'll let us go?"

Hestia glared again. "No." They paled. "But, I have an idea." She grabbed the two by the ear, and they squealed in protest. "Don't squirm you two, do you want to know what happens when your parents argue." They immediately quieted.

She gestured the other responsible demigods involved to follow her to the dining pavilion. With a flick of her wrist, and a yelp from Leo, two plates of food appeared. One with an assortment of greens, the other with assorted meats and fish.

She plopped them onto a bench. "You two will try at least one thing from the plates in front of you. If you don't comply...let's just say your parents get along now thanks to some ' _convincing.'"_

They gulped looked at each other, and took a bite. Albeit, rather ruefully.

The Olympian looked at the gathered campers, the ones who participated in the war. "All of you, as another punishment will have two things. First," She held out one finger. "Chiron will be meeting with your parents to make sure you will never do this again. At least, without supervision," she added kindly, then held up two fingers. "Second, you're house sitting next week."

Everyone glanced at each other and gulped. But nonetheless, they complied with the goddess.

That day everyone in the two camps learned who the scariest of the Olympians really was. Don't judge a book by its cover, indeed. Hestia probably got it from her grandmother. That's where Zeus got his flair, Poseidon his sass, Hades' temper, Hera's crankiness, and Demeter's obsession for weird things.

At the end of the day, Piper let herself become a pescetarian (with the occasional eggs and free-range meat), and Leo ate his vegetables.

* * *

 **I have no idea...  
**

 **Headcannons are: _Hestia can be scary_**

 ** _Piper becomes a pescetarian_**

 ** _Will finds out he had photokinesis while helping Nico with his erebokinesis_**

 ** _Katie can make plants overcome dragons_**

 ** _Rachel can use the mist to fight the Mist_**

 ** _Polyphemus can understand any language, any where, any time if Nobody is mentioned._**

 ** _Argus gets desert privileges_**

 **And last but not least: _Chiron dyes his tail  
_**

 **Tune in next time on ~ _THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~_ (insert catchy jingle here)  
**

* * *

 **"I need to do something to celebrate getting my Oracle back. Oh, I know!"**

 **"Would you like a spot of tea?"**

 **"Bloody hell..."**

* * *

 **Bye!**


	6. A Taste of Britain

**Welcome to _~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~_ (insert catchy jingle here)**

 **Thank you to wizard of stories.**

 **I'm very sorry to any British people reading this. Why is explained below. Let's start!**

 **I can't, don't, won't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians nor its characters.**

* * *

 **A Taste of Britain**

* * *

After three days, six hours, and ten minutes of following his instinct, Apollo finally managed to re-defeat Python, and reclaim the Spirit of the Oracle of Delphi.

His punishment, as appointed by Zeus, was to reclaim the Spirit of the Oracle by himself. No demigod help, no godly help, no mortal help. Not even his own poetry was allowed to help him! But, it was done. The Oracle was almost back.

Apollo held out his palm where green vapor swirled around his fingers.

"Return to your host, reveal the prophecies once again." He chanted as the mist evaporated into the sky, crossing the atmosphere to reach Rachel Elizabeth Dare, the current Oracle.

Once all of the mist faded, Apollo decided to celebrate first by a haiku.

" _My Oracle's back,_

 _I did it all by myself,_

 _I am the greatest."_

That's a keeper. The sun god wrote it down for later.

Now for the next one.

"I need to do something else to celebrate getting my Oracle back. Oh, I know!" He snapped his fingers and entered another chant. His form glowed for a moment until the chant ended.

He decided to give the demigods at Camp Half-Blood some fun. He had to thank them for hosting his Oracle. They would love his little gift for them, even if the chant was technically a _curse._

Oh well, they'd love it.

* * *

Camp Half-Blood was quite normal today. Though, they did receive Apollo's 'gift', and it was interesting.

That was a lie. Things are never normal at Camp Half-Blood.

"Would you like a spot of tea, Piper darling?" asked Rachel.

Apollo's gift revealed to be giving everyone in Camp the full British experience, where the sun god apprehended Python (in the castle of Hogwarts, to be precise). That included British attire, British food, British culture, and of course, British accents.

Most of the girls were wearing Victorian-era style dresses, most of the boys had suits with top hats, canes, anything else stereotypically British because, frankly, Apollo didn't know much about Britain. What he did know were the stereotypes, sadly.

So, that left Rachel, wearing a lime green overcoat on top of a white gown, to serve tea and biscuits to her 'guests.' Because it was apparently her fault Apollo did this in the first place.

"Thank you, Rachel dear. Though I must say you look divine," Piper thanked her. She wore a similar dress but with a sienna brown overcoat and a sky blue scarf, her hair tied in a bun. "But honestly Rachel dear, how long until this blasted _curse_ , I mean, this wonderful gift-" She said that last part sarcastically, even if she didn't want to aggro the god of the sun. "-is over, and we can go back to our not so normal lives?" The daughter of Aphrodite inquired.

"I don't know sweetie, I could get used to this," Hazel disagreed with Piper. She was wearing a silver cardigan on top of a golden dress with a bronze-coloured bow at her waist. Her hair was pulled behind her. "I mean have you seen my dear brother Nico. He looks absolutely sublime!" She finished.

"Where is dear Nico?" Rachel questioned. The lad disappeared a bit before breakfast.

Wait, am _I_ part of this curse?

 _Bloody hell…_

* * *

Annabeth was crouched on the floor of the Hades cabin, scanning it with a magnifying glass when Percy cleared his throat. "Annabeth, what are you doing?"

"Thinking"

"Thinking?"

"About why Nico di Angelo was kidnapped."

Percy's eyes widened, full of worry. "What do you mean he's kidnapped?"

She pointed to the floor. "Look, there's a trail of lint from his bed to the doorway. It could be Nico taking his blankets out to be washed, but he only does it once a month, and I did the laundry with him a few days ago."

"But, where would the lint come from?"

Annabeth bent down and pick something from under the bed. "See this?" She showed him a piece of string. "This is Hessian fabric. It can be woven to make rope, nets or-"

"Or sacks," Percy finished. "But, no one in camp has a sack made of this material.

"Not exactly true. Remember entrance to camp is selective can enter. So whoever took Nico has to be a demigod or a satyr."

"But, who would take Nico?"

Annabeth pressed her fingers to her temples.

"I have a hunch. But, we've to be covert." The daughter of Athena glanced at Percy. "No humming theme songs from unrealistic movies, please."

Percy pouted. "Okay…"

Annabeth, dressed in an indigo blouse tucked in black pants with black dress shoes, put on her trench coat and deerstalker, and left the cabin.

Percy followed in his khakis, grey dress shirt, brown loafers and leather jacket.

"Percy…"

"Yeah?"

"Call Arellano."

* * *

Reyna lifted her head from her desk in the Big House. She was working on some reports when she heard the phone ringing.

"What is it Jackson?"

"Di Angelo has been kidnapped. I need you to find where everyone in camp currently is, and was for the past three hours."

Reyna's eyes expanded. "What? Get back to the part about Nico."

"He has been kidnapped. Only…"

"I know. On it."

Reyna grabbed a notepad and ran outside. Three things on her mind lingered as she ran around the camp. Why Annabeth acting more rudely? Why was Nico kidnapped? And why are they all talking in British accents?

Why not Scottish or Irish? Stupid Apollo standards.

* * *

"Jason? Will, where are we? And why are we in front of a TV?" Nico asked when the bag was finally removed from his head.

Jason shook his head. "Sorry Nico. There are some people who would like to...interrupt our little act right now."

Nico's eyes widened at the way Jason said the last part. _Please be nothing weird. Please be nothing weird._

The son of Apollo had an eerie glint in his eyes when he looked at the son of Hades.

"It's time we _catch up_ on things…"

* * *

Chiron hastily opened the door to his office to find Leo banging on the door and Calypso and shaking her head. "Yes, children?"

"Is there a Tesco's here?"

"No. Sorry, child."

"Oh okay, another time then." They turned and left.

Chiron was very confused. ' _Tesco's? What the Hades?'_ He shook his head and went back to 'balancing his checkbook' (dying his tail hair).

Five minutes late, more knocking came from the door.

Sighing, Chiron opened the door to see, once again, Leo and Calypso. In the same arrangement as before. Only this time the centaur noticed the son of Hephaestus had a coat from the British working class on and Calypso was wearing a simple white dress.

"Yes?"

"Is this Sainsbury's?"

"No…"

"Okay." And they left.

Before Chiron even left five feet from the door, knocking was heard. Annoyed, Chiron opened the door and practically shouted "No, the Harry Potter theme park is not here either! Neither the Cadbury factory, nor the British Parliament. Now will you let me-"

Thalia cleared her throat, looking confused. "Chiron, are you alright?" The centaur looked her up and down, and was relieved to find that the Hunter was void of any British influence.

"I'm just a bit confused, child. Come in, come in." He gestured her inside. "Now, what do you want to talk about," Chiron said as he wheeled in behind his desk.

Thalia looked at him straight in the eye, and said "Is this the Buckingham Palace?" in a, dare he say it, British accent.

Chiron's eye twitched, and before Thalia heard anything, she ran out of the window straight into Leo and Calypso's giggling forms, hiding in the bushes.

Once the laughing died down, Calypso said "We are so being punished."

"It's worth it."

As they were strolling to the dining pavilion to have some crumpets and tea, Leo spotted Jason and Will sneaking what looked like a large sack of spuds into the basement.

He tapped the other two's shoulders and beckoned them to follow him as he crept towards the door.

They could only gasp in bemusement as they saw the truth inside.

Jason looked at them, and shook his head. "You should have knocked…"

The winds pushed them in, and the doors were locked shut.

* * *

Annabeth, Percy and Reyna were nowhere near close to finding out where Nico was. They were currently in the Poseidon cabin, thinking about what to do when the 'landlord,' Frank, walked in.

He was about to offer tea when he saw the way everyone was covered in dust. "Blimey, what happened to the lot of you?" He brushed off some dirt of Percy's shoulder. "No luck on the case?" he asked as he set down the tea, and took a seat near the metaphorical fireplace which was actually a water fountain.

"Nope, something's missing." Annabeth pressed her fingers to her temples.

Reyna looked at her. "Why don't we go through the evidence again?"

"Okay. Crime scene: the Hades Cabin. There were traces of lint that lead from Nico's bed to the doorway. That meant some article of clothing was dragged. His blankets were unmade, but present, so he didn't do his laundry.

Close to the bed was a piece of string of the same fabric that makes up sacks. Which would explain the trails; Nico's struggling would force the kidnapper to drag him across the ground until he was knocked unconscious. The sack would leave some lint and string stuck on the floorboards. But, the kidnapper would be forced to carry Nico once they left the cabin because it would be very obvious where they went.

There were footprints that lead from the cabin, but disappeared around the fire pit. One set of footprints, much larger than Nico's feet. So, definitely not him.

The question is, who and where? Well, we went to everyone in camp and there were some suspects." Annabeth pointed to a list of campers, satyrs, nymphs, and Chirons. "Cross-reference that with who has larger feet than Nico, and who in the right mind would even think of doing this, we are left with a lot less people. But, too many to see who did it.

After checking on everyone on that list, I still can't see who did it. All we know is it's someone larger than Nico, strong enough to carry him, a camper (based on the footprints, they can't be a satyr) as someone else wouldn't even be able to enter Camp." Annabeth finished.

The room went silent as everyone pondered who would have taken the son of Hades until Frank's eyes lighted with excitement.

"Guys," everyone looked up at him. "Remember somebody saying about Thalia, Leo and Calypso disappearing near the basement doors of the Big House?"

Reyna's back straightened. "That's right. Lou Ellen saw the three of them fall into the basement after looking into it."

Annabeth continued. "That means they found something they weren't meant to see. And, Will and Jason haven't been seen since breakfast-"

"Both late and a bit tired looking. I think we have our kidnappers." Percy finished.

As the four started making their way to the Big House, Frank wondered ' _If this was serious why didn't Lord Hades say anything?'_

Of course when he voiced this to the others, they dismissed it. They thought Will was doing _things_ to Nico he wanted to do in private, as in _basement_ -private. And wanted Jason as a bodyguard. Which would explain the disappearance of the three, but why was the sack necessary?

When they arrived at the basement doors (there was a set of them on the outside, as well as the inside of the Big House), they could hear screaming. From multiple people. Reyna's hunch was right, Will _was_ doing things to Nico, and the others were screaming at him to stop. Maybe Jason was even cursed to follow Will's bidding.

Percy and Frank opened the doors to find that Will was doing weird things. He had Nico, Leo, Calypso, and Thalia strapped to a couch while Jason and him were on either side of Nico squeezing the life out of him. He wasn't paying attention because he was to busy watching something.

"WHY DID MORIARTY DO THAT?!" Nico shouted. They were watching Sherlock, and several other British show DVDs were propped up against the flat screen TV in the center of the room. So that's where Leo's TV went.

Jason paused the show and the movie-goers all looked to the side.

"Could you please close the door, it is absolutely ghastly."

Reyna stuttered "I-I thought y-you-" She pointed at Will "were doing _things_ to-" she pointed to Nico.

The two boys looked at each other and blushed, the heat from the cheeks enough to make water boil. Will voiced nonchalantly "If I wanted to do _things_ to Nico as you put, then I wouldn't even drag him out here."

Nico blushed even further, making him look like a purple balloon. "Will!"

"What? Reyna told me to never lie."

The daughter of Bellona waved him off. "Please no details, and let's start from the beginning." She beckoned to the TV.

The others eagerly agreed and/or sat down.

* * *

 **The next day...**

Rachel, Hazel and Piper joined in on the others' movie marathon yesterday, so they were continuing the tea party this morning.

"Rachel dear, what's wrong?"

Rachel was trembling. "I-I don't know. I think my accent's disappearing. Hello? Testing, testing. Pizza? Burgers? Yes, my sweet American accent is back!" Rachel dashed to her cave. "Goodbye Victorian era dresses! Goodbye saying words with the letter u in it. Armour! SCHIST!" The Oracle's voice rang throughout the valley.

Piper looked towards the horizon as if Apollo decided to finally end this madness when he had to leave Camp Half-Blood in his sun chariot. She felt neutral about this whole ordeal. She didn't like the clothes, but she did like the accent. It scared Jason.

Hazel looked terrible. "M-my accent! My beautiful accent! Gone! GONE!" She ran towards the Hades Cabin to mourn her... _loss_.

Piper got up and sighed. She was going to offer Hazel some accent lessons if she would stop crying. Who knew Hazel liked British accents?

* * *

Chiron thought he was losing his mind. Campers kept knocking on his office door asking for British stores. But, they were in the US! A British influence curse doesn't make them appear out of thin air!

The centaur held his head. He needed a break, he went into his bedroom to lie down.

Tomorrow, the campers would keep pestering him for British food until Chiron put it on the menu, hoping this would end.

Sadly, Apollo decided it would be fun to try _other_ cultures the next week. For once, Chiron wanted to join his students in Hestia's punishment. Except that meant having to talk to himself about all of the campers, which he saw as his children.

Things are never normal at Camp Half-Blood.

* * *

 **That was...nice?  
**

 **Headcannons today are: _Apollo found the Oracle and Python in the replica of Hogwarts in London_**

 ** _Annabeth turns into Sherlock Holmes. Percy into John Watson, Reyna into Greg Lestrade, Frank into...Mrs. Hudson_**

 ** _Will and Jason watch every great British TV show they can find_**

 ** _Hazel loves British accents_**

 **Finally: Rachel _hates British accents_**

 **Well, see you next time on ~ _THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~_ (insert catchy jingle here) **

* * *

**"Mr. and Mrs. Blofis, Lord Poseidon, let us talk about Percy."**

 **"Will and Nico are really _getting along_..."**

 **"That's my boy!"**

 ***giggle* "Solangelo"**

 **"Aphrodite, what are you doing here?"**

* * *

 **Cheerio! Pippet! Wot wot! (I'm sorry)**


	7. Parent-Chiron Conference

**This was harder to write than I thought, anyway...**

 **Welcome back to ~** _ **THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS**_ **~ (insert catchy jingle here)**

 **Thank you to demoniccat5574 for the input. You were talking about Mission Impossible, right?**

 **I don't own any of the characters mentioned.**

* * *

 **Parent-Chiron Conference**

* * *

Chiron was rushing around in his office, trying to get everything organized for the conference tonight.

As decreed by Lady Hestia (who asked him to call her Big Sis, he respectfully declined), the centaur was to talk about the campers who almost destroy both camps on a weekly basis with their parents, mortal and immortal. This would have been easy if A) Lady Hestia got Lupa to help him and B) said wolf goddess didn't go on a 'suddenly necessary vacation.' But, alas he did have someone to _watch_ \- he meant, support him in this.

"This is going to be fine, Chiron." Hestia attempted to calm him as he paced the room, in wheelchair mode. "Even if it won't, they still have tomorrow's punishment." As she said that, her fiery eyes seemed to glow with an evil glint. Her modest robes somehow made this look even more menacing. The cloak over her head made the goddess look like a cult master, her smile as if capable of piercing stone.

Someone knocked on the door.

Ignoring the goddess'... _disturbing_ aura, Chiron opened the door and found Grover. "Ah, Grover! Is everyone ready?" Grover would act as his assistant tonight, and Rachel would help out Hestia downstairs.

The satyr nodded in reply and made his way to sit behind Chiron's desk, leaving space for the centaur's wheelchair. "Everyone present is waiting in the living room. The others are turning up."

Hestia nodded at the centaur in satisfaction, and left the room. "I'll send them in. Let's hope this doesn't end in world annihilation." The goddess was going to act as the bodyguard tonight. Based on who was coming, she may have been the best choice.

Chiron looked to his student as he moved next to him. "This is going to be a long night."

* * *

Hestia walked into the living room and gazed upon the gathered gods, mortals and demigods. Everyone shied away from her stare as it travelled across the room, except for the Oracle reading a magazine. Rachel probably didn't see an immediate threat to and from the room. When she was satisfied no one was going to end up severely injured, _yet_ , she called out the first camper.

"Percy, it's time." Hestia hugged the demigod before he left the room.

The Stolls snickered as Percy and his parents trudged up the stairs. "First blood," they mumbled.

The son of Poseidon glanced at Annabeth at the back of the room who smiled in encouragement. Despite his girlfriend's reassurance, he gulped. What exactly did Chiron know and what he might reveal.

It was a big surprise for Percy when he saw Grover seated next to the centaur.

' _I'm dead.'_ Percy mouthed at Grover. The satyr just smiled sheepishly when he saw his friend's dreaded look.

After exchanging greetings and introductions, everyone sat down. Sally and Paul on Chiron's right, Poseidon on his left, and Percy on the couch in the middle.

The office was a lot roomier than before. It looked more like the office of a CEO rather than a camp director. The wall opposite the door was lined with bookshelves filled with scroll, novels, albums, picture frames, Party Ponies memorabilia, and other trinkets from the past. Chiron's mahogany table sat close to the center. There was a desktop computer to the side, various office supplies lined its edge, a calendar lay flat on across the desk. Behind it was a small rack that held a printer and a few stacks of paper, along with several filing cabinets. Dotted on the wall the printer was pressed up against was pictures of all of his students. Percy spotted one of the Seven and their friends the day Leo came back. Opposite Chiron's desk was a large velvet couch campers would lounge on when they have nothing to do. A large window was placed above it with a view of the whole camp. Six regular chairs instead of the two that resembled the couch were arranged around the intricate carpet in the center with an oak coffee table on top of it. On the wall where the door was, a large flat-screen TV was hung. A small table with Chiron's stereo, records and DVDs sat below it.

"Mr. and Mrs. Blofis," Chiron looked at Percy's parents. "Lord Poseidon," he nodded at the sea god. "Let us talk about Percy."

"I know you're wondering why you're here," he spoke with in a formal tone, unlike the fatherly one he normally has.

He raised his hand as Poseidon started to speak. "No, Lord Poseidon. Lady Hestia's 'way with words' is not the reason we are here." The sea god closed his mouth.

"All of you are gathered because we will talk about Percy and his _activities_ here in Camp, especially recent incidents, such as one involving vegetables. We want to make sure you are aware of these incidents, just in case it happens again." The way he said that made Percy wonder exactly how much did Chiron know.

Chiron made eye contact with everyone. "Are we all ready?" Grover handed the centaur two folders. "Alright. Let's begin.

Here is Percy's evaluation sheet, you can discuss this with him at a later date." The centaur handed aforementioned document to Sally. After a moment's glance, Sally gave her son a _We'll Talk About This Later_ look (capitalization necessary). Percy gulped, this was not going well, and it's only been five minutes.

"Percy has been involved in several incidents that may or may not have nearly lead to Camp Half-Blood's demise." The mentor briefly glanced at Percy before continuing. "One of them happened a few days ago, Percy, would you like to explain?"

The adults looked at the son of Poseidon expectantly as he sighed and explained what happened.

When he finished, his father asked sternly, "So, you joined a battle against Zeus' boy?" Percy nodded.

"In spheres made from your powers?" Percy nodded again.

"Did you win before Hestia stopped you?" He nodded once more.

After brief silence, Poseidon reached over and clapped his son on the back, beaming. "That's my boy! Showing Static Face's boy who's the most powerful demigod."

"Lord Poseidon-" "Poseidon-" Chiron and Sally started, but the sea god paid no attention as he continued to praise his son. But, even Percy was trying to get him to stop. He was with Nico in that battle, after all.

When everyone calmed down, Chiron proceeded to tell them about all the other incidents such as forcing people to have romantic moments, almost having Chiron to 're-decorate' the Big House after a game of Civilization, numerous interventions, and many other things.

The way Sally's face hardened, the way Paul tried to calm her, and the way Poseidon beamed at him when Chiron finished told Percy that he wasn't going to get the cookies his mother brought with her.

He sighed in relief when Chiron stopped talking, but his moment of peace didn't last long when the door opened, and Annabeth, Athena, and Mr. Chase walked in.

Seeing that everyone was puzzled from the new entrants, Chiron explained the predicament, while motioning for everyone to take a seat.

"All of you must be confused as to why you're here." Everyone nodded, Athena and Poseidon glared at each other, Percy and Annabeth tried to hide behind the couch they were sitting on. "Well, we need to talk about Percy and Annabeth, _together_."

The two demigods glanced at each other. ' _This is not good.'_

Unfortunately, Poseidon caught their exchange. Even more unfortunate was that he took it the wrong way. "Percy, Annabeth, is there something you want to tell us?"

"N-no Lord Poseidon! There's nothing to say!" Annabeth stuttered.

Athena narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure about, daughter. Because if there is anything you want to admit-"

"No mother, there is nothing wrong." Annabeth interrupted.

Sally tried to save the two from embarrassment. "I'm pretty sure Chiron was just going to tell us about how well they act together as a team. Right?" She asked, the last part a bit strained.

The centaur immediately understood. "Of course, Percy and Annabeth's performance greatly increases…"

As Chiron continued to explain how well the two demigods work together, Poseidon leaned towards the couch they were sitting on and whispered, "If something's wrong, just tell me."

He winked at them. "Unless, of course, you're expecting. Then, in that case, it's up for a celebration."

Percy turned rose red as Annabeth tried to dissuade the sea god from the thought.

That only made the sea god think they were really hiding something. He started grinning like a Cheshire cat as he turned back to the conversation.

Athena turned to praise her daughter, but her smile faded as she saw the look on Poseidon's face. "What is it?" Her suspicions from the previous conversation rose up again.

The sea god looked to the teenagers and nodded after he saw their red faces. "We're gonna be grandparents!" He proclaimed.

To say Athena was shocked didn't even get close to the truth. Her eyes blazed and her regal aura turned sinister. "Is this true?" She asked slowly.

Everyone looked to the couple on the couch. Grover looked hurt that they didn't tell him, Chiron sighed as if he was used to this, Paul looked amused, Frederick was bemused, and Sally was... _ecstatic_.

"I'm gonna be a grandmother!" She giggled.

Percy jumped from his seat, and held his hands up defensively. "No no no no. This is a misunderstanding-"

"My daughter is a misunderstanding?" The wisdom goddess questioned angrily (not a wise moment for the wisdom goddess).

"No, I'd protect her with my life!" The son of Poseidon backed away from enraged goddess.

"Let's see if that's true, shall we?" Athena raised her suddenly materializing sword and pointed it Percy's throat.

Annabeth saved Percy from witnessing old English executions firsthand by blocking her boyfriend. "No, mother you don't understand! Lord Poseidon thought we were hiding something, but we only got worried if Chiron knew that-that it was Percy's idea to paint the Hades Cabin pink." She added.

Percy then looked at her confused. "What?" Annabeth glared at him pointedly. "Oh-oh yeah. It was my idea to paint Nico's Cabin." He rubbed his neck sheepishly.

Chiron looked at Percy, but his gaze was softer than expected. He also winked, telling Percy that his mentor understood the sudden excuse.

Athena flushed in embarrassment. "I am sorry for my rash actions."

Chiron cleared his throat. "Well, that is all I have for you Percy." He gestured for him and his parents to leave the room. "Annabeth, we need to talk about your antics that don't involve Percy."

"Yes, Chiron."

Just before Chiron shut the door, Percy whispered to him, "Thanks, Chiron. We owe you one."

The centaur simply smiled, and thanked Poseidon and the Blofis' (sounds like a band) for their time.

Once the door was closed, Sally asked her son. "Are you sure you aren't expecting. Because a grandchild would be nice, I don't mind if it's early."

The son of Poseidon turned rose red again. "M-Mom!"

Sally giggled in response. "I can hope, can't I?"

* * *

Piper saw Percy enter the room and whisper into Hestia's ear. She hugged him again, gestured for the son of Poseidon and his family to head to the dining pavilion, and called out Piper to make her way to Chiron's office.

In place of her father, Coach Hedge was to act as her guardian. He looked at her worriedly. "You okay, cupcake?"

Piper gulped as she saw Annabeth's red face when she left Chiron's office. "I hope it won't go as bad as I think it would be."

Coach Hedge squeezed her shoulder in reassurance as he opened the door with his other hand.

Chiron greeted the two as they entered the office. Grover went up to hug Piper, as Chiron brought out another two folders and gestured for the two to sit.

Piper was about to ask what they were going to talk about when the door opened and Aphrodite walked in.

"Hello Piper!" She giggled. "What a surprise!"

"Mother!" Piper exclaimed as she reluctantly hugged the goddess of love, as per her request. "What are you doing here?"

"What?" Aphrodite pretended to be hurt. "Am I not allowed to join my own daughter in a Parent-Teacher Conference?" Piper nodded, she did have a point. She leaned towards Piper, and whispered. "Also, if I don't go, Hestia would have both of our heads." They both shuddered. Talk about fiery attitude. "Anyway, Chiron let's begin."

After what felt like an hour, Chiron finished. Piper sighed in relief. She stood up to leave, but Chiron just looked at her amused and motioned for her to sit down again. Only did she remember that a while ago, Percy left the Big House about twenty minutes after Annabeth entered Chiron's office. With realization, the charmspeaker's eyes widened and realized that she would have to discuss her and Jason's antics _with_ Jason.

Her guesses were right when Jason entered a few moments later, only this time followed by Thalia and Lord Zeus. ' _This should be fun.'_

The sky god acknowledged everyone in room with a nod. "Brother, new Lord of the Wild, Hedge, Aphrodite, future daughter-in-law."

Piper and Jason blushed while Aphrodite giggled something that sounded suspiciously like _Jasper_.

For the next half hour, Piper had to deal with Coach Hedge's stern looks, Aphrodite's giggles, Thalia's knowing smirks, and for some reason Zeus was writing stuff down in a little notebook.

It was a great relief when Piper was allowed to leave. She didn't care if her boyfriend and his sister was at the mercy of Chiron's apparent knowledge of what happens in camp, she wanted to leave.

Though, from the way Aphrodite looked at Piper, she could tell they were talking about her.

The daughter of Aphrodite gritted her teeth, ' _Jason better have gotten rid of those Flashback-inators or whatever they're called.'_ She know and didn't want to know what everyone did with them, but she did know Jason kept them hidden in his cabin. She used one to watch reruns of TV shows, but Chiron wanted them disposed of. _No good in making everyone delusional, apparently._ Piper did, however, have a sneaking suspicion that the fedora she found in the same place as the things, which was Percy's cabin, were related.

* * *

Hazel and Nico slowly walked into Chiron's office as if they were on a death order, with Hades behind. This was one of the few moments the god of the Underworld was allowed to interact with Hazel (even _Thanatos_ didn't want to cross Hestia).

They entered the room to find a very flustered Jason and a Thalia that looked like she was having the time of her life. The two exchanged a glance. They had a feeling that whatever was going to happen tonight would result in them turning out like one of those two.

Chiron finally noticed the Underworld family, and finished talking to the Graces and Zeus. He gestured for the newcomers to sit as the others stood up and left. But, not without Zeus and Hades exchanging whispers, hi-fiving and Zeus grumbling something with the words "Barnacle Breath" and "not having static on his face" as he left.

Once the door closed shut, Chiron repeated the same process as before; taking out some folders (four this time), handing out evaluation sheets, talking about the two's performances at camp, and discussing the recent incidents. Despite his silence, Nico could tell that Hades was proud of his children for bringing their and other's powers to their full potential.

Of course, the moment of welcomed silence ended when the children of Hades' boyfriends entered, with their obnoxious fathers (according to Hades).

Will, Nico, Hazel and Frank exchanged looks as Hades glared at his nephews; Apollo who seemed to take Annabeth's advice and was writing down haikus and other poetry in a notebook, and Mars who seemed to be arguing with himself as the Greek influence everywhere was messing with his head.

Chiron cleared his throat and started to talk about the quartet's progress, both in pairs and with others.

Of course, things went awkward when Chiron talked about Nico and Will in particular. "Moving on from Hazel and Frank's success in the war games-" Mars/Ares (Mares?) raised his fist in triumph. "Thanks to Will, Nico was able to stop from fading and even further developed his powers. At the same time, Nico helped Will discover that he had the powers over light, much like Nico with darkness, or Hazel with metals.

This among many other things has made them get close. They-" Gesturing to the four teenagers in front of him. "-among the other demigods, have grown the most. And I can say, that I am very proud." He finished with eyes proving his statement.

The four demigods both beamed and sighed in relief at the same time. They were glad that Chiron was proud of them, and relieved that there wasn't anything particularly embarrassing, _yet_.

The centaur looked at them apologetically as he said his next sentence. "But, according to Lady Hestia, I need to tell you everything I know. And by everything-" He pointed to Grover who shrunk in his seat. The four glared at the satyr.

"You see, Will and Nico are _really getting along_." Chiron winked at the two scarlet faces.

Apollo spent enough time to look up from his notebook to hear this. He clapped Will on the back. "That's my boy." He leaned in on Will and whispered. "If you need some advice on which spots go where, just let me know." Will's face turned carmine, as he tried to ignore what he just heard.

It just got even weirder when they could hear giggling from a potted plant. " Tee-hee, Solangelo."

Hades glared at the plant which dissolved into a pink cloud and solidified into a delighted love goddess. "Aphrodite, what're you doing here?"

She shrugged. "What? Can't I watch two of my OTPs get flustered and embarrassed by their parents? I did it with the others."

'Mares' stood up and kissed Aphrodite. "Hey, babe."

The goddess of love tried to pull back. "Please, I am trying to watch my OTPs."

Before things could get out of hand Chiron reminded the two that Hestia was downstairs, and could retract her deal of cookies in exchange for going here.

In a flash of light, Aphrodite disappeared. But, they could hear Piper screaming in the distance.

* * *

Chiron held his face in his hands as Grover handed him some nectar. This was exhausting, or _life-sucking_ to be more accurate. After Nico, Hazel, Will and Frank, 'Mares' stayed behind as Ares since Clarisse would be up next, followed by Chirs. Surprisingly, that was one of the more quiet sessions.

Then, he had to deal with Lou Ellen and Cecil where Lou Ellen kept on stealing Cecil's nose, Cecil kept on stealing Lou Ellen's wand, Hecate kept switching George and Martha with rubber snakes while Hermes was threatening to cut of the goddess of magic's mail privileges and to tell Demeter that Hecate ate the last of the Twinkies. That was just a disaster.

After that, he had to deal with the Stolls brothers, Katie and their parents. Katie kept trying to strangle the boys while her mother was interrogating Hermes about who ate the last of the Twinkies.

Chiron actually just talked with George and Martha (well, just Martha, really) about their master's children, asking them to tell him of this conversation later. He also asked them to make sure Demeter and Hecate remembered their children (and didn't kill each other).

More campers followed and eventually, the centaur and the satyr were allowed to take a break.

This was a long night, but Chiron only had three more campers and parents.

He pressed a buzzer to signal Hestia that he and Grover were ready. Why did his students have to be so destructive? This was more of a punishment for him than for them.

* * *

Hephaestus walked in with Leo and Calypso in tow. The daughter of Atlas seemed to interested in the way the tinkerers constantly had something in their hands, eventually making something beautiful. A few minutes ago, Leo managed to make a model World War II U-Boat, and his father made an accompanying British fighter plane.

Calypso remembered that while she was on Ogygia, the god of forges would sometimes give her small gifts, like a snow globe or a souvenir magnet, which gave her some insight on what happened in the modern world. She appreciated it so much when Leo did the same thing, she was even planning on making some trinkets about her original island.

She didn't pay that much attention when Chiron was talking about their performances and behavior. Hephaestus decided to fill in as her guardian, which she readily agreed to. Out of all of the gods that visited her, Hephaestus was one of the friendliest.

Her attention did peak, when Chiron talked about the incidents. So, it turns out the centaur did know about those secret cooking contests the boys did every now and then. Calypso shuddered, while some of them are amazing cooks, like Nico and Leo, others on the other hand, are... _unique_. Percy, for example, liked to make any and every kind of food _blue_. While it worked with some dishes, it made no sense with others.

He also knew that Leo sometimes hacked into Chiron's computer and rick-roll him. Don't ask how Calypso knows what's a rick-roll.

The centaur once again congratulated Leo for saving Calypso from the island. Hephaestus also ruined the moment by saying the reason why he visited Calypso in the more recent times was to get to see if Calypso would be his future daughter-in-law.

Leo's face changed color faster than a chameleon. "Dad!" His ears were literally on fire.

The god of forges chuckled and put out his son's flaming ears. "What? Nothing wrong with visiting my future daughter-in-law." Both campers' faces reddened.

Chiron saved them by clearing his throat. "Lord Hephaestus, I think you've been spending too much time with your wife." Calypso had a feeling this was not the first time Chiron had to save his students from embarrassment via parents tonight.

The god waved it off. "This is one of those times where we actually agree on something."

Chiron nodded, and fixed his documents. "Well, that's all I have for now. Be sure to drop by soon, Lord Hephaestus. I do believe Bunker 9 could use some updates on the machinery."

Hephaestus shook Chiron's hand in agreement, and escorted the two campers out the door.

On her way out, Calypso swore she heard Chiron say something to Grover that sounded like 'That was the most ordinary meeting tonight.'

She pondered what that meant, but her thoughts were interrupted and answered by Piper dressed like a French princess chasing her giggling mother, and a Zeus and Poseidon bickering and pushing their sons into fighting.

Athena ran up to the trio and whispered into Hephaestus' ear. The god sighed and nodded. He turned to Leo and Calypso. "We need to stop those two before Hestia finds out-"

"What are you two doing?!"

Hephaestus shook his head. "Never mind." He patted Leo on the back. "You be careful, son. And take care of Calypso here. I'll be back in a few days to add some things to Bunker 9. Farewell!" The god left their side as he tried to hold back a blazing Hestia from attacking her brothers and nephews.

* * *

Reyna walked into Chiron's office without uttering a word. Her mother did the same. Their stoic expressions did soften when they saw the look of exhaustion of the centaur's face. He just smiled at them when he noticed their presence.

As Reyna sat down, she asked, "Where's Grover?"

Chiron sighed. "The boy went out to get some coffee. This conference stuff is more tiring than I thought."

Reyna's eyes filled with concern. Though she didn't know the centaur long, he still treated her like his own child. Something Reyna hadn't felt in years. It felt nice.

Chiron dismissed her concern and started the meeting. Throughout the meeting Bellona stayed silent. Though she did raise an eyebrow when Chiron mentioned about the one time Nico convinced Percy and Reyna to get a pirate ship and kidnapped a third of the campers for six days.

Eventually, the conference ended and the two left the room. But, the goddess of war stopped her daughter before they reached the stairs.

Bellona cleared her throat. "Daughter." She placed her hands on Reyna's shoulders. "I want to say that I am very proud of you and your sister."

Reyna's eyes widened in surprise. "Mo-"

"Don't be surprised. You and Hylla have defeated one of the most feared criminals in the ocean. Hylla has risen to become Queen of the Amazons. You have become the praetor of Rome, brought back the Athena Parthenos, and ended a grudge that lasted centuries. If that isn't good enough of a reason me to be proud, then I don't know what is." She finished by wrapping her daughter in a tight embrace.

When they parted, Reyna smiled. "Thanks mom. Thank you, for everything."

"Anything for my daughter." Bellona replied, proud. "Now, let's fix your friends before Lady Vesta goes on a tangent."

"And yes-" She interrupted her daughter as she opened her mouth. "I meant Hestia in Roman form. You see, as Vesta, the military nature of Rome also affects her."

Reyna gulped. "So that means-"

"Yes." The war goddess confirmed, and lead her daughter outside to prevent the goddess of the hearth from going supernova.

* * *

Chiron and Grover were finally left the Big House with a large cup of hot chocolate in each of their hands. The conferences were a lot more awkward than expected, but nothing bad happened.

The two joined Rachel on the porch, watching the Big Three squabble about what food was more delicious, and their sons trying to sneak away from them, only to have Hestia drag them back.

Everyone else was roasting marshmallows around the bonfire. Except for Piper who was still mad at her mother for 'mugging' her.

It was exhausting, but it was fun.

Chiron hoped he would never have to do that again.

* * *

 **That was the First and Last Annual Parent-Chiron Conference. Be sure to leave your suggestions next year.**

 **Headcannons this time are:** _ **Aphrodite is disguised as a potted plant, and has super hearing whenever her favorite couples are involved**_

 _ **Hestia's punishment involved embarrassing the demigods**_

 _ **Chiron is most proud of Hazel, Frank, Nico, and Will**_

 _ **Yes, Percy is a secret agent**_

 _ **Vesta is scarier than Hestia**_

 **Tune in next time on ~** _ **THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS**_ **~ (insert catchy jingle here).**

* * *

" **Please children, don't destroy the heart of Western Civilization just because one of your parents has a better chair than the others."**

" **Hey guys! I found the kitchen."**

" **Wow, I didn't know Annabeth used Ikea furniture when she remodeled this place."**

" **This punishment isn't going to leave a mark on the children, is it?"**

" **Nope."**

* * *

 **See you soon!**


	8. House Sitting

**I just realized I subconsciously upload every Thursday and Friday because I just broke the schedule. So, just in case, there may be a chapter you haven't read.**

 **Thanks to storyteller1333 and Guest.**

 **On with the show!**

 **Welcome to ~** _ **THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~**_ **(insert catchy jingle here)**

 **I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians.**

* * *

 **House Sitting**

* * *

Annabeth grumbled as she lugged her rather heavy suitcase up Half-Blood Hill. Normally, Percy would offer his assistance, but everyone seemed to have gotten to him first. Well...he might be forgiven then given the circumstances. _Might._ Percy was carrying two large suitcases in each of his hands, with several other bags on his shoulders. Annabeth did have to stop herself from snickering, though. Their best friends made Percy a pack mule.

"A little help." Percy called to the others walking up the hill.

Jason shrugged. "Sorry Percy, looks like you're perfectly fine."

The son of Poseidon pouted then directed his face at Annabeth.

"Percy! Remember your manners, you're supposed to be a gentleman." The daughter of Athena chided.

This made him pout even more. Annabeth was saved from the impending cuteness when Frank took off some of the bags from his shoulders.

"Thanks Frank. You are a true friend, unlike _some_ people." He spat the last part in mock anger at Jason and Leo who rubbed their necks sheepishly.

Before the son of Poseidon could drown the two in water vapor, Annabeth and Frank pushed him up the hill.

Once everyone was at the top, Hestia gathered everyone around Thalia's pine tree.

"Okay," she clasped her hands together. "You kids are going to take care of a home for its owners while their gone. House sitting, if you will. I'll be there to supervise."

Everyone exchanged looks and shrugged. Nothing could possibly go wrong. It's just house sitting.

"Let's go." Hestia's eyes glowed and in a flash of light they vanished.

When the group arrived at their destination, they gaped in awe as they saw Mt. Olympus in all its glory.

Piper asked, "Lady Hestia, which house are we taking care of?"

The goddess in question grinned. "That one," she said as she pointed at the large temple at the top. The Council Room. "You will take care of the place while your parents are away, along with a few other places connected to the room. You will not be destroyed if you touch their thrones, I made sure of that." Hestia face grew serious. "Please children, don't destroy the heart of Western Civilization just because one of your parents has a better chair than the others."

Lou Ellen raised her hand. "Aren't they thrones?"

Hestia shrugged. "Say whatever you want, but they're really just chairs."

The group looked at each other again. _This should be fun._

* * *

Chiron looked to Argus as they played a game of pinochle. "This punishment isn't going to leave a mark on the children, is it?"

Argus grabbed a small post-it on the side and scribbled something on it. He passed it to Chiron.

It only said one word:

' _Nope'_

* * *

"Woah, this is amazing," Reyna marveled as she spun around the center of the Council Room. It was her first time on Olympus, and she was constantly awed by the gleaming architecture and glowing features.

It looked the same as the others' descriptions, made to look like the Parthenon (or vice versa) with twelve large thrones pertaining to the twelve Olympians. A warm hearth sat in the center, and two hallways extended down perpendicular to Zeus and Hera's throne along Hestia's hearth.

Though, it was obvious that there were some modernized features that worked surprisingly well; wooden and metal braces ran along the floor between the large marble tiles, it formed a pattern that looked as if the very foundations of the building were visible, large pillars that resembled vines ran across the edge of the room, several flat screens hung from the pillars and others floated about showing different places and events (such as Camp Jupiter, Camp Half-Blood, the lobby of the Empire State Building, reruns of the show _Friends_ ), a large tank sat in the corner filled with all sorts of marine life, designed to look like a coral reef, a small lounge with couches and bookshelves lined the other corner.

"Of course," Percy beamed. "It was redone by the best." The demigod architect flushed as Percy started explaining why redesigning was necessary when Grover noticed an old friend in the corner.

"Bessie!" Rachel, Nico, Annabeth and Grover ran over to the tank where a large cow with a fishtail started swimming around excitedly. A hippocampus. Leo joked about it being a mercow. _(sounds like a Pokemon)_.

Reyna's attention was once again grabbed by sharp clapping noises from the hearth. The fire grew several feet tall, and Hestia regally stepped down from the brazier. She was dressed up in a dark brown blazer, though her jacket had a hood pulled over her head. She held a clipboard in her hands.

"Okay, we'll need to assign all of you in your activities for today. You'll go back home the next evening. And don't worry, your parents want to spend some time with you and they want to thank you by giving you a feast tomorrow, so no work." She added as she heard groans from the group.

Soon, Hestia finished giving the demigods their tasks for the day and they split up to begin. Hestia sighed. Soon this would all finally be over, and some peace can come.

 _(You people have dealt with me for seven chapters, what do you think?)_

* * *

 _ **Throne Room**_

Tick.

Calypso sat crossed legged on the floor with her hands on her lap.

Tock.

Chris sat on his knees with his hands in his pockets.

Tick.

Travis was sprawled out on the floor attempting to make dust angels.

Tock.

Everyone remained silent.

Ti-

Hestia took down the wall clock from above the door. "I really need to get this fixed. It makes awkward moments even more awkward." She glanced at the three silent teenagers in the middle of the room.

"Jeez, what a coincidence. Is that what they say nowadays? Jeez? Jizz? Jazz? Jeez seems right." The goddess pondered as she approached the three.

She knelt down beside Chris. "Hey," she squeezed the son of Hermes' shoulder. "Why don't you guys get to know each other while you clean up the place. Start with the thrones first, leave the tank for last. That's usually the most fun." The three nodded.

She got up and walked out. "I'll be back to check on you. I need to have this clock fixed. Seriously, it makes any silence awkward…" She continued to ramble as she left the room.

Calypso stood up, and brushed dust off her clothes. "Well, let's get started." She grabbed a few cleaning supplies and walked to one of the thrones.

Chris and Travis both looked up and saw Calypso was headed to their father's one, so they ran along with her.

Soon, the three of them were dusting the massive leather office chair without wheels, but with a built-in computer, headsets, massage mechanisms and cup holders. Also, a small compartment was hidden for the things Hermes 'finds' and 'borrows.' (You don't want to know where it is)

"Wow, Dad's throne is really cool. There's even a place for his 'findings.'" One half of the Stoll brothers marveled as he crawled inside.

"Chair," Chris corrected him. "Also, I'm not sure that opens from the inside."

Travis grunted in response, but squeaked as the door of the compartment closed in on itself, sealing the co-counselor inside. "Chris!" He shouted, though his voice was muffled.

Chris shrugged as if the boy could hear him. "Not me. Guess it was…" He trailed off as he realized the only other person available who could have done that.

He turned to see Calypso whistling innocently with her hands behind her back as if she was a child hiding a mess.

The son of Hermes grinned. "Not bad. I was wondering when he would shut up."

"Hey!"

Calypso smiled. "Needed something fun to do before the tank thing Hestia was talking about."

"Yeah," Chris agreed."Can you tell me about yourself? I've heard a bit from the others, but I wanted to hear it from you."

Calypso blinked at him then nodded. "Sure, why not. You two could do the same." She pursed her lips. "But, where to begin? I guess I need to deny anything Leo's told you."

Chris opened the compartment door when Travis knocked, and the twin poked his head out of the area. "Really? Because he's said some _interesting_ things." He smirked.

"What did he say, Chris?" Calypso asked as she pushed the door back, forcing Travis back into the chamber of secrets.

The son of Hermes laughed as his brother yelped in surprise. While he talked to the other two he thought, ' _This isn't so bad. Maybe Hestia is right, we are getting along. Even with Travis.'_

* * *

" _ **Storage Room"**_

"It's a closet."

"No, it's the 'storage room.'"

"It's a closet."

"But, it says 'Storage Room.'" Cecil pointed to the sign above the door to the 'storage room' that did say those very words.

Will crossed his arms. "Come on guys, let's just get started. We have to organize everything in this closet. Yes, it is a closet. I don't care what the sign says." Cecil closed his mouth.

The other two nodded and joined the son of Apollo as he knelt in front of the mess inside the room.

While moving things around, Cecil grumbled. "Some of these things are amazing. Others are just junk. I mean, look at this-" He held up a sheet of paper from a small stack. " _Aphrodite's OTPs_. There's a whole bunch of names on it. What does OTP even mean? Oh look a dictionary." Conveniently, there was indeed a dictionary right where Cecil needed it.

Will's eyes widened in realization as he snuck a glance at the paper next to Cecil. At the same time, Hazel looked over Cecil's shoulder and found out what the acronym meant a few moments faster than the son of Hermes.

Cecil's eyes lit up in amusement as he learned the definition of the word the moment the two other demigods practically pounced on him to grab hold of the paper. Unfortunately (or fortunately, in Cecil's case), the son of Hermes was, well, the son of Hermes and had the perfect escape reflexes.

"Oh, now I get it." He said as he kept the paper away from the other two. "What's wrong guys? Afraid you're in this. Because you're giving me even more reason to read it." That made the two stop moving.

Grinning, Cecil scanned the sheet of paper. His grin grew into a smirk when he found what he was looking for.

Hazel and Will took that as a bad thing. It was.

Cecil stood and ran away from the two screaming for Nico to help Will come out of the closet.

Hazel saw this as an interesting situation so she closed the door and locked it leaving Will inside, and joined Cecil in the hunt for the angel.

Will slid down the door. ' _What's the point of this? Nico and I are already together.'_

* * *

 _ **Hall of Victories**_

Percy glanced at the sign above the room. "The Hall of Victories. Nike would like this." He shuddered as he remembered the weird incident involving a schizophrenic goddess, several back-up robots, the Mist, and participation awards.

Nico and Clarisse looked at him oddly as they entered the room.

It looked like the throne room, except there were no thrones. It looked a lot more golden, several pedestals were dotted across the room, showcasing various moments of glory, and yes, victories. There was the actual paper-copy of the Treaty of Versailles, a miniature version of the Trojan Horse, a flag of the American Union, a portrait of Nike, a map of the Allied territory from WWI, WWII and the Cold War, some Nikes, and a whole bunch of other memorabilia.

Clarisse brushed her hand over an old machine gun. "I remember Dad telling me about this; this was one of the machine guns first prototyped. And this-" She held up a thin Celestial Bronze sword. "was one of the first rapiers ever made. It is said to be able to pierce through the toughest armor." The daughter of Ares went about the room holding things up, and talking briefly about it, especially how many people were eviscerated by it.

"What are we supposed to be doing?" Percy asked as he examined a tiara in the shape of a raven with a deep blue stone in the center.

Nico yanked the tiara out of Percy's arms and placed it back on its pedestal. "We're supposed to get rid of the dust here and make sure everything's in its place. We are not supposed to grab everything and put your disgusting fingers on these priceless artifacts."

Percy huffed as Clarisse snickered in the back. "You sound a lot like a museum person. And my fingers are clean, thank you very much."

Nico raised an eyebrow. "You mean a curator?"

The son of Poseidon shook his head. "No, not a crusader, the museum people."

Clarisse was literally fighting back tears as the son of Hades facepalmed. "I said a _cu-ra-tor_."

Percy mouthed an 'o' in understanding. Rubbing his neck sheepishly, he apologized and started cleaning.

Progressing through their 'assignments,' Percy found an display case that peaked his interest. "Hey guys, check this out." He waved the other two over.

The other two only gaped when they saw what the son of Poseidon was talking about.

The display case held pictures and objects of the high moments of each of the demigods that took part in the war against Gaea. There was a picture of Percy holding the helm of darkness and Zeus' lightning bolt, a scale from the hide of the drakon Clarisse killed in the Battle of Manhattan, a set of Mythomagic cards, Piper's cornucopia, Jason's coin, Leo's drawing of the Argo II, Annabeth's designs of Olympus, a picture of Frank on the bridge in Venice, another of Hazel on the back of Arion, a third with Will and Nico discovering the son of Apollo's powers, another of Hazel on Arion with Percy on Blackjack and Jason on Tempest, Reyna on Pegasus dragging the Athena Parthenos, and a whole bunch of other things.

"I never knew they kept this stuff." Nico brushed his fingers over the Mythomagic cards. "I thought these were burned."

"Ah Nico, remember you threw them into a hearth, and I get a portion of everything that goes in the hearth."

The three demigods jumped at the voice behind them, "Hestia!"

The goddess chuckled. "A few of the other gods and I had this built up to show how proud we are of you, and to celebrate our most recent victory. You are the most powerful demigods of your time. Be proud."

The three beamed at her. Of course given the circumstances of this story, their moment of glory ended when Cecil and Hazel burst into the room screaming for Nico to help Will come out out of the closet.

Rolling his eyes, the son of Hades complied, but not without signalling Hazel to supervise Percy and Clarisse while he's gone. He doesn't want to lose those cards, _again_. They're mint-condition.

* * *

 _ **Entertainment Room**_

"For an entertainment room they really went all out." Jason spoke out as he wandered the entertainment room. It was by far, both what he expected and didn't.

He had a feeling it was something like a game room of the Lotus casino, according to Percy, Annabeth and Nico's descriptions. It was a whole lot more. It was basically a combination of every form of entertainment that a teenager could dream of. The left wall had a large bar with all kinds of liquor, sodas, juices and other assortments of drinks. The right had a large alcove at the end and a set of doors closer to the entrance. The alcove was a 5-lane bowling alley, and the doors led to a large cinema with half as many seats as normal because the seats were extra deluxe comfort La-Z-Boy recliners with massage and unlimited refreshment mechanisms. At the far end of the room was a large TV with all kinds of consoles. Dotted around the room were some arcade games, and in the corner was a hall that led to library that probably had every book made in history. In the center was a series of tables and chairs forming a circle around a podium with a large Bingo cage, some Russian roulettes, board games, Wheel of Fortune wheels, and actual roulettes. Further away were some pools, tables and pool tables.

What surprised Jason, considering the nature of the Greek and Roman gods, was that _other_ forms of entertainment were not there. It was welcome that it wasn't included, though. That would get very awkward. Imagine having to play Twister or Monopoly with your immortal family. Those were the two board games not found anywhere in the room. Jason did hear that Cecil found a few boxes of the games in the so-called 'storage room.'

Unfortunately, the many features of the room just made it much much harder to keep their small team together.

Katie ran into the movie theater to start watching _Once Upon a Time_.

"Katie,we need to get to work."

"Not right now! This is the pilot episode."

"If we don't start, Hestia would get mad."

"Emma Swan is an interesting name isn't it."

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Oh my gods, Henry is so adorable. Lou Ellen was right, if Nico and Will had a kid he would be Henry, but where would the brown hair come from?"

"Uh, I'm going to ignore that. Are you even listening to me?"

"That jacket really goes well with her hair color."

"Travis is cheating on you."

"That's nice." Katie waved Jason off as she ate some popcorn and brought her legs up to her chest.

Jason sighed. He went to try Frank next.

The son of Mars turned out to be sitting in front of the large TV at the back playing the newest _Pokemon_ , even if the game was meant for a screen several thousand times as small. It still looked fantastic.

"Hey Frank."

"Hey Jason, do you think I should choose the fox, the frog or the chipmunk thing?"

"I'd go with the chipmunk, Chespin right?"

"Yeah, thanks Jason. I'll see you later."

"No problem, dude. Bye"

Jason walked off to the center of the room, only to realized he failed to convince Frank to help him. He tried to talk to the son of Mars again, but he completely ignored Jason.

That left Annabeth, hopefully she wouldn't be distracted by the wonders of electronics.

He found the daughter of Athena in the library.

It was a circular room twice as tall and half as large as the previous one. There so many bookshelves they might as well have been the walls. Staircases wove around the center in a spiral effect, supported by twelve large marble columns. The occasional fifty foot ladder sat on a bookshelf. The center itself looked like one of Athena's tapestries was hard pressed onto the floor. It showed scenes from the most famous books and authors from every century; Shakespeare, Homer, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, J. K. Rowling, and a few others. Various couches and coffee tables with more books were scattered around the room. And the books, gods, every book in existence might have been in here, probably even the original copies.

The daughter of Athena herself was sat on one of the couches with dozens of books scattered around her. Jason expected them to be about architecture or history, but it turns out Annabeth was reading the books Percy wrote. That would be both weird and awkward, judging by her expressions.

Despite all of this, one thing entered Jason's mind as he examined one of the couches. " _Wow, I didn't know Annabeth used Ikea furniture when she remodeled this place."_

As if the demigod could sense her name being mentioned in one's thoughts, she looked up from her book with a questioning look. Jason was about to open his mouth when she said "No, I am reading" while looking back at the book.

"But-"

"What did I just say?"

The son of Jupiter gulped. He didn't want to unleash the wrath of the bookworm literal brainchild of the goddess that can think of every way to bring pain to one just by using his pinky finger.

"You are reading."

Annabeth nodded.

"I'll get to work then."

Annabeth nodded.

"By myself." He said as he slowly walked away.

Annabeth nodded.

"All alone."

Annabeth nodded.

"By myself, Hestia wouldn't be happy if she found out."

Annabeth looked up. With a sigh she followed Jason out the room. She slapped his shoulder. "You better get the other two involved. I just got to the part where Percy finally realized he fell for Annabeth."

"Annabeth?"

"Yeah?"

"You're talking in third person again."

* * *

 _ **Exercise Room**_

The exercise room, like the entertainment room, had a lot more features than normal versions. It was a large open-spaced gymnasium with various gym equipment, stairs up led to a track oval that had a view of the entire room. Several doors were dotted around; one led to a sauna, another to some changing rooms, a room that had various puzzles, another filled with musical instruments, and the last one with nothing but a chair inside. That was one of the things Reyna liked about the exercise room; it provided exercise for the body _and_ the mind.

She took advantage of that immediately. Because of the praetor's serious demeanor, their group was able to finish early. Which meant exercise. _Yay_.

Grover was on a treadmill in his fake shoes, trying to lessen his limp when he wore the stuff.

"Can I get off now?" The satyr breathed out as he strode.

"Two more miles." Reyna looked up from a stopwatch.

"Are you timing me?"

"No, I'm timing _them_." Reyna nodded of to where Connor and Leo were.

Leo was in the puzzle room, trying to all of them as fast as he could. Crosswords, word searches, regular puzzles, spot-the-difference, tile puzzles steadily moved from one side of the room to the other. As hard as they were, Leo was making great time. It was also a good way to vent out his energy.

Connor, on the other hand, was in the empty room. This was more for Reyna's personal enjoyment as she was quite fed up with the brunet. On the outside, it just looked like Connor was sitting in a chair for half an hour. In reality, opera music was playing. If she looked closely enough, she could see the sweat rolling down his face, the shaking of his hands, the tensing of his shoulders.

Reyna put him in there after causing a prank that led to half the gym equipment breaking down, and the other half going backwards. Luckily, Leo was there to fix everything before Hestia arrived, who brought in cookies a few minutes before the son of Hermes took his time out.

Grover watched the daughter of Bellona grin devilishly as Connor screamed in terror, but it was a soundproof room, so nothing came out.

"You are one sadistic lady," he muttered.

"A sadistic lady that can speed up your treadmill," Reyna corrected. "Just be glad Clarisse isn't in this room. Or Coach Hedge."

"Yeah, because an viciously violent daughter of the war goddess who breaks spears like toothpicks and an equally belligerent satyr that may possibly be older than even Hazel and Nico who changes songs about farm animals into ones about weapons of mass destruction is _definitely_ a worse option than a Roman praetor daughter of one of the patron goddesses of Rome with the ability to obliterate someone from the face of the earth in more ways than one would enjoy to think." Grover stopped briefly before continuing his exercises.

Reyna nodded satisfied. "I'm glad you understand."

She didn't notice the quizzical look Grover gave her because she was too busy cackling at how Connor was now singing along with the music of torture. _If you can't beat 'em, join 'em._

* * *

 _ **Lavatories**_

"Come on ladies, we don't have all day!" Coach Hedge shouted into his megaphone as he 'supervised' his group in cleaning the lavatories.

It looked like any public bathroom, except there was a jacuzzi in the corner, and everything was either golden marble or ebony wood. It made a nice contrast. Everyone started snickering when Lou Ellen pointed out that it reminded her of a certain couple.

They did the men's' first, so as to not horrify the all girl, plus, satyr team. In comparison to the men's, the ladies' was even more extravagant. There was also a couch, some issues of _Vogue, Olympus Weekly, Cereal's Digest_ were stacked neatly on a table. Violins played in the background.

"What was that coach? I didn't hear you." Piper raised her hand to her ear to emphasize her point.

Coach set the volume of his megaphone to 'high.' "I said- _The chicken goes cluck_ \- You got that?"

While the stall Rachel was in shook with laughter, Piper held her sides in a failed attempt to stifle her giggles. "We sure did, Coach."

The satyr nodded in satisfaction, and went over to the couch and grabbed a copy of _Olympus Weekly: Solangelo? or Perico?_

When the laughter died down, the girls went back to their cleaning and Coach Hedge decided to actually help them.

"Why is Coach even in the _ladies'_ bathroom, anyways?" Rachel asked.

"Well, I heard from Thalia that the Hunters agreed to go with Grover on their quest because satyrs don't count as men." Piper whispered.

Coach Hedge heard more giggles, but he just assumed the girls were enthusiastic about their chores.

 _(Not much to say about the bathrooms)_

* * *

 _ **?**_

"Hey guys, I found the kitchen!" Percy shouted to the others in the throne room. Hestia gave everyone a break after they finished their assignments. The son of Poseidon decided to wander around the halls in hope of finding something that could ease his boredom.

"That's nice, Percy," Annabeth said as she read the books she found in the library.

"Wow, they have everything. Wait...is that? Oh my gods, this is amazing!"

The others looked in the direction of Percy's voice.

"This is delicious. You guys should try some before I eat it all. This cookie dough is to die for."

Everyone perked up and stormed into the hallway Percy entered. They found him sitting on the floor sticking his face into a bucket filled with cookie dough flavored ice cream. He looked from his moment to see all of his friends staring at the delicious uncooked dessert.

"Umm...hi?"

"How much of that is left?" asked Hazel as she looked at the bucket with an indeterminate glint in her eye.

"I think this is the last bucket."

That was the last thing he should've said as the group of the most powerful demigods on the planet pounced.

* * *

Hestia returned to the throne room on top of Olympus satisfied with herself that day. She managed to run her errands and there were no incidents involving demigods.

"I think I'll reward them with some cookies. Some chocolate chip cookies. Yeah, they would love that."

She walked into the kitchen, humming a short song, to see twenty demigods and a satyr making a mess of the kitchen.

The goddess cleared her throat. The group stopped their actions and looked to Hestia. "I'm sorry. Am I interrupting something?"

"Sorry Lady Hestia," Annabeth apologized.

"For what? Making me believe that you children could go for one day without destroying something? Thinking that you could act like civilized adults instead of these petty squabbles over...Is that my cookie dough? You fought over _cookie dough?_ To think I was going to make you my famous cookies." Hestia rambled.

"I'm really sorry Aunt Hestia." Percy looked down in shame.

She waved him off. "No, it's fine. You deserve that as a reward anyway. I'll just make everyone some pizza."

The group brightened and hugged Hestia.

The goddess of the hearth chuckled. "I love you guys too." ' _I wonder what your parents would think.'_

* * *

 _ **The next day…**_

"It's my cookie dough!"

"No, it's mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Can I say something?"

"NO!" "NO!"

Hestia watched as the Big Three argued over the last of the cookie dough from yesterday. She rubbed her temples. ' _Idiots...'_

Then again, she was currently arguing who would win in a fight; Wonder Woman or Black Widow with her sisters, so she couldn't say anything. Except that Black Widow would win.

* * *

 **That took forever to write. Sorry for the delay. Remember that I try to upload every Thursday and Friday, so check if you missed a chapter or two.**

 **Headcannons this episode are:** _ **Hestia sees the thrones of power as chairs**_

 _ **The Olympians have a place where they display moments of their victories; the demigods that took part in the second Gigantomachy are included**_

 _ **Annabeth reads Percy's books**_

 _ **Annabeth sometimes talks about Annabeth in third person**_

 _ **Demigods are obsessed with cookie dough**_

 _ **Gods are obsessed with cookie dough**_

 _ **Hestia likes Marvel**_

 **And that was** _ **~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~**_ **(insert catchy jingle here).**

* * *

" _ **We lost. She has won."**_

" _ **The world is being corrupted one bit at a time...We need to act fast."**_

" _ **We're safe, for now."**_

" _ **I'm sorry."**_

* * *

 **Goodbye!**


	9. What If?

**Welcome to** _ **~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~**_ **(insert catchy jingle here).**

 **Thanks to** **prakhar (Sorry for not being able to say your full name, it doesn't work for some reason)  
**

 **This is my take on what would happen if Gaea won.**

 **I don't own anything of value.**

* * *

 **What if?**

* * *

Percy looked to the skies as he watched the reborn Festus soar into the sky carrying a massive dirt lady. He briefly saw Jason and Piper dart after the dragon and it was only natural to assume that Leo was on the back of his mechanical friend.

Briefly remembering the Earth Mother's ex-husband, Percy understood what had to be done. He knew this was a good plan; to separate Mother Earth from the earth.

But, there were a few complications. The biggest thing was that Gaea was simply too massive to be carried into the sky. Festus, despite being a fifty-ton metal dragon, was working against both gravity and a possibly equally heavy earth goddess that was trying to dissolve in order to return to her domain. Not a good chance.

They only left a few feet above the ground when Gaea pried herself from the dragon's talons and backed into the ground. Her pure green eyes glowed so bright it nearly turned blue. The ground and grass coiled and spun and twisted around the dragon's legs and tossed it towards the last of the onagers. The remaining weapon was crushed under the weight of metal, but Percy could see three figures running away from it just in time. Leo jumped away from Festus as he fell, grabbing hold of Jason as he descended to the ground. The dragon slowly tried to sit up, despite the possible damage from the ammunition required by the massive weapons.

Gaea looked towards the gathered demigods and cackled. " _You think you could defeat me? Think again. I am the Earth Mother. I am as old as time itself. You mortals have no power against me."_ She raised her hands towards the sky and began to chant.

The ground once again wove its way around the demigods slowly dragging them down. Percy's eyes widened in surprise as he pulled up a child of Ares from nearly being buried alive.

As he watched the ground beneath them pluck old friends and new, a stone thrown by the Earthborn hit him in the back of the head, and forced him into unconsciousness.

The last thing he remembered before the world faded to black was a blonde grabbing hold of his shoulders and water swarming his vision.

* * *

When Percy came to, he was surprised to find that he wasn't either swallowed by dirt or fighting wave after wave of monsters.

Instead, Percy was lying down on a bed inside a large sea-themed room with an open window that showed the actual sea. Based on past experiences, Percy knew that he was in his father's palace.

He tried to get up but was pushed down by a pair of warm hands.

"Careful, you need to rest. You've been out for a few hours, and that stone nearly gave you a concussion."

The son of Poseidon looked up to see Will Solace, the son of Apollo, and behind him were Nico and Hazel.

"Guys?"

"Hey Perce." Hazel made a small wave.

"What happened? Where's Annabeth? Frank? Jason?" He questioned worriedly.

The other three's eyes visibly darkened as they looked sadly at Percy. "They're fine," Will started. "But, we lost. She has won. A lot of the campers were captured, or worse." He grimaced.

Hazel placed a hand on Percy's shoulder. "But, thanks to your warning we were able to save everyone else." She smiled sadly at him.

"What about Chiron?"

"Right here, my boy."

The son of Poseidon almost jumped in surprise as his mentor walked into the room, out of his wheelchair, with Annabeth in tow.

"Chiron, Annabeth," He said relieved.

Annabeth ran to his bedside and gave him a passionate kiss. "I'm glad you're okay."

The son of Poseidon asked curiously. "But, how? What're we doing here?"

The centaur had a grim expression plastered on his face. "Your father, let us seek refuge here. We're safe, _for now_. Thanks to your warning, we were able to get the remaining campers to the sea."

"What about Gaea? Why didn't she take us? Her biggest threats?"

Chiron's face turned from grim to a grimace as he looked at everyone in the room. "The Earth Mother is set out on her plot to reclaim her domain. The world is being corrupted one bit a time. She popped up in Camp Half-Blood, so that's where her invasion starts. She wants to give the mortals a sense of panic, that slowly, but surely, she will prevail. That's why she didn't get you immediately; she believes that she can give you a sense of false hope and have it slowly crumble as the world goes back to its goddess."

"Is there anything we can do to stop her?"

Chiron shook his head. "We don't know. But, for now we have some help in slowing her down," He winked as Nico opened his mouth in question. "Let's just say that _other_ powers are fighting back. We need to act fast." He clapped his hands. "But, for now you must sleep. We will talk again in the morning."

He looked to Will who nodded and pushed everyone out of the room, save Annabeth.

She climbed in next to him, and wrapped her hands around his body. "Annabeth…"

"I know, it's a lot to take in. But, we can worry about it tomorrow. Right now, you need to sleep."

"Okay, I love you Wise Girl."

"Me too, Seaweed Brain."

He closed his eyes and entered a deep sleep.

 _The previous events of the day passed through his mind. Their arrival at Athens, the battle against the giants, the almost achieving the speed of light as they headed to Camp Half-Blood, Reyna's arrival with the Athena Parthenos, Gaea's rising, and finally when he blacked out._

 _But, instead of waking up in Poseidon's palace, Percy woke up on a rough and dusty floor. He sat up and looked around seeing everyone else knocked out. There wasn't much to say about their location except that it was currently night, the ground was gray with craters and stone strewn about, the Earth floated in the distance, more ro- Wait. The_ Earth _floated in the distance?_

 _Eyes widening in surprise, Percy jumped to his feet to see, yes, the Earth was floating in the sky like sun would._

" _Where are we?" He voiced his thoughts out loud. Though, he had to admit their home looked even more amazing than in pictures. Maybe the fact that he was there to see it for himself. To see it as close to reality as he could._

 _His spoken question was answered by a familiar voice. "Where do you think? We're on the moon." A black-haired twelve year-old looking girl stepped into his vision. She was dressed in a silver parka and hunting pants. An pure white bow that looked as if it was made from the horns of a deer was in her hand. She glowed in dark gray light, as if the moon itself was attracted to her presence. Artemis; goddess of the hunt and the moon. "Men," she grumbled._

 _It took a few moments for the goddess' words to sink. When they did, several thoughts ran through his mind, only two reached the surface. "How are we even here? Why are we here?"_

" _The same way you can breath underwater. I brought you here because this was one of the few places where Gaea can't get to us."_

" _So in space." She nodded. "Away from the Earth." She nodded. "Makes sense."_

" _Yes, in order to survive this plight," She looked at him directly in the eye. "We need to survive. In SPAAAAAAAACE."_

 _Theme music from Doctor Who played and the dream shifted._

 _Percy appeared in what looked like his apartment in New York. Sally and Paul were sitting on the couch watching the news with shock written all over their faces._

" _Mom!" Percy yelled even though he knew it was futile to try in a dream._

" _What are we going to do?" Percy's mother looked to Paul. "What about Percy and the others?"_

 _Paul tried to calm her down, but it was evident that he was just as terrified as she was. "I don't know, but we need to move. Based on what Hermes told us we would be safe if we headed east."_

 _Sally looked as if she might cry which broke Percy inside. "I hope they're okay."_

 _Paul didn't say anything, but rubbed her back in comfort._

 _Percy made to move towards his parents when the phone rang. Sally ran straight to it, as if it was her lifeline which honestly, in this situation, might be._

" _Hello? What? The docks? In thirty minutes? Bring anything valuable? Okay, thank you." She looked to her husband as she hung up the phone. "We need to pack. Now."_

 _Paul nodded, and once again the dream changed._

 _This time Percy was in the throne room on Olympus, every god and goddess Percy could recognize, major and minor, Greek and Roman were arguing._

" _What are we going to do? We need to act now!"_

" _What's the point Gaea has risen! This is your fault Hera!"_

" _How is it my fault? You were the one that wanted to wait this out!"_

" _And look to what your meddling has done. You expected too much from your heroes."_

" _Look at this, this is exactly what Gaea wants." Percy looked to his side and saw Hestia shaking her head in disapproval. "Look at this Percy, everyone is slowly killing each other, trying to find out how to defeat Gaea. Yet, this is exactly what she wants to happen. As a result, the other pantheons are suffering." She turned to the son of Poseidon. "We need you and your friends to help us. Maybe if you get us to stop our squabbles, we could join the other pantheons and you heroes to fight Gaea."_

 _Percy pondered this for a moment. "But, if other pantheons are helping, shouldn't Gaea be overwhelmed?"_

 _The goddess of the hearth shook her head. "No. She knows that very well she could be defeated if we team up together, so she gathered allies, not just Greek or Roman. Many allies that could be as powerful as her. But, there is a chance we can defeat her."_

 _Percy perked up at that thought._

" _Your friend Leo's plan is not far from the solution, he only needed a little more help. I can't say anymore, but you have to remember; old friends and new, every person counts. I'm sorry." She smiled sadly. "Goodbye, Percy Jackson. Hopefully, this isn't the last."_

 _She waved her hand and Percy woke up._

He stretched and looked around, he was still in his father's palace.

Annabeth nudged him from the side. "Come on, Lord Poseidon summoned us."

* * *

Percy was currently standing in what he remembered was the central pavilion in Poseidon's palace, somewhere he so eloquently dubbed ' _Central.'_

A few things were different, however, from the last time he was here. The ever-shifting tiles on the floor were not of the palace and the outlying areas; it was a map of the globe. It was one of those maps that showed natural features, like mountains and rivers, but also showed borders of countries.

There was also the fact that there were no explosions outside the pavilion, which was always a plus.

Percy looked around. He could see a lot of his friends were okay. Annabeth ran over to Hazel and Piper who were helping a Reyna with a crutch. Nico and Will Solace were bickering in the background. Leo was pushing Jake Mason in a wheelchair and they were trying to gather large pieces of metal everywhere. It occurred to the son of Poseidon that these might be the remains of Festus. Frank was talking with someone, Percy's heart warmed when he saw his half-brother with a red harpy on his shoulder. Tyson looked in Percy's direction and his face immediately brightened.

"Brother!" The cyclopes ran straight for his half-brother and enclosed him in a bear hug.

Percy patted Tyson on the back. "Hey big guy. Did you take care of Ella for me?"

Tyson's face brightened when the harpy in question hopped down from his back and embraced Percy as well. "Tyson has been very nice to Ella. Ella likes to be in Poseidon's house. Ella feels like a mermaid."

The son of Poseidon chuckled. "Miss you too, Ella."

Poseidon cleared his throat. "Everyone gather around." He gestured to the mosaic model of the world. "You need to see this," he stated grimly.

"What's wrong?" Hazel asked worriedly. "What has Gaea done?"

The god of the sea didn't say anything as he spread out his arms like one would do with his fingers when zooming in on a tablet. It turned out, the mosaic map was like _Google Maps_.

The mosaic honed in on the area that Percy recognized as the edge of New York City that was closest to Long Island. It was just like Percy remembered; farmland, some hills, the beach farther out. But, it the beautiful image of the place near his home was ruined by literal waves of dirt rolling through the landscape. Everywhere the dirt touched crumbled and vanished. Wait. Only buildings and fences were disappearing, trees and anything generally with life was untouched. It was slow, but it was steadily moving away from the direction of Camp Half-Blood.

Annabeth's voice rung out through the pavilion. "She's destroying everything man-made."

It suddenly reminded Percy of his quest in Alaska. His hunch was right; what it was like there is what exactly Gaea wanted.

Jason spoke, this time. "What do we do?"

"What can we do?" Nico argued back.

"Can you please stop being pessimistic," Will interrupted, staring to get irritated.

"Don't yell at Nico like that!" Reyna defended.

"Please stop fighting."

"What are you gonna do about it."

Everyone started to get into arguments, and Percy's dream from the night before popped up.

" _This is exactly what she wanted to happen."_

Those words kept ringing through his ears, then realization slapped him in the face.

"Guys-" He was interrupted by the clang of sword on sword.

"Guys!" No one paid him any attention.

"GUYS!" The son of Poseidon flicked his wrist and the water surrounding them froze.

Silence fell on the group like a blanket.

"Thank you." He snapped his fingers and the water melted. "Listen, I had this dream." Percy explained everything, even the 'In Space' thing.

Silence once again fell across the group when he finished. Only then did he realize that his father during the arguing, possibly to retrieve his mother and stepfather.

Frank cleared his throat. "So, you're saying that Leo was right all along, and that we're going need to find more allies to fight Gaea?"

Percy nodded in affirmation.

"But, who's left? The Amazons and the Hunters are in hiding, the gods are arguing amongst themselves, who's left?"

"Chiron?"

Everyone looked to the centaur, who visibly paled, but spoke anyway. "There's-"

Whatever he was going to say was interrupted by a sudden earthquake that shook the entire palace. Even if they were underwater and could move freely, everyone was pushed to the ground.

Cackling overwhelmed the rumbling and Percy ran straight for Annabeth. Explosions popped left and right, and as he finally grabbed onto his significant other's shoulders, a ringing filled his ears. Then, he was suddenly in the sky holding onto Annabeth, and before they could even come close to the water he blacked out.

* * *

When Percy came to, he first thought ' _This happens to often.'_ Then, he immediately remembered the body pressed up against him. ' _Annabeth.'_

He stood up and scanned his location. He was on a sandy beach that met a familiar looking jungle. In fact, everything about this place looked familiar, except for a giant crater and what looked like scorch marks a few feet away from him.

Only then did he see Annabeth and another person sitting at a table near the crater thing. He let out a sigh of relief which was immediately retracted when he recognized the person sitting with his girlfriend.

"Calypso?"

* * *

 **This just adds to the list of things I want to make into an actual series.**

 **No headcannons this time.**

 **That was** _ **~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~**_ **(inset catchy jingle here).**

* * *

" _ **We are different… We're not like them."**_

" _ **You mean, we're freaks."**_

" _ **No, never that!"**_

" _ **We are more than those...mortals will ever be."**_

* * *

 **This feels really dark for some reason.**


	10. Evolve

**Hello! Sorry, there won't be a chapter tomorrow. I'm gonna be going somewhere for the weekend.**

 **By the way, this is another AU. On with the show!**

 **Welcome to** _ **~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~**_ **(insert catchy jingle here).**

 **I don't own the Heroes of Olympus, The Hobbit or The X-Men. I also don't own the Skylanders. (That's a lot of references for you to find)**

* * *

 **Evolve**

* * *

"It's a boy!" The tending nurse cried out in joy as she wrapped a blanket around the newborn child.

"Can I hold him?" The tired mother asked.

"Of cou- Oh dear," the nurse muttered glum.

The mother looked up in worry. "Is something wrong."

"The water is stuck to the boy's fingers. He's one of _them_." The nurse held the baby farther away from herself as is if it was carrying a disease. "I'm sorry, but his _kind_ must be disposed of."

The mother's eyes widened in worry. "No! Please, I can teach him to control himself."

The nurse ignored her and pressed a button on the table. "We have another one, a water-user."

"Affirmative, terminate immediately," a robotic voice replied.

"Please!" The mother reached out towards her baby.

The nurse laid down the baby on the table and opened a box holding a syringe. "This is for your own good, and for ours." Whether she was talking to the baby or the mother, it wasn't clear. She positioned the needle at the center of the his forehead.

It was cruel to see how the world would turn on a young child the moment it showed signs of a higher potential. At this moment, the mother could see how far people were willing to go and let fear take control.

"STOP!" Before the nurse was able to touch the baby's pale skin, the entire building shook, and a tall, muscular man ran in. He shoved the nurse, and picked up the baby while another nurse ran in and helped the mother onto her feet.

"Go, we'll catch up!" The new nurse shouted as the man ran away with the bundle of cloth that held his newborn son.

She turned around when they reached the door. "I'm sorry, this is for your own good," she said solemnly as a wave of fire erupted from her fingertips and wrapped around the other nurse's leg.

She screamed in pain and fell over, fainting from shock.

After ensuring there were no other pursuers the nurse and the mother ran after the man and his son.

* * *

"Go, away with you vermin. You _pests_ are not allowed in this household," a woman shouted as she practically threw her two children and their bags containing their belongings out of the house. "Out!"

"B-but Mommy-" The younger boy cried out.

"No! You are one of _them_. To think, I was the life of the party. Everyone wanted to talk to me! Then you two come along!" The woman sneered at the two sobbing children. "You just _had_ to ruin my reputation with your- Whatever you are. You freaks!" She picked up a broom and swung towards them.

The children backed away, but the woman grabbed a hold of the boy.

"Mommy?" The boy cried out.

"You are the worst, you look just like your good-for-nothing father." She moved to punch the boy, but it never came.

The boy looked to see his mother's eyes closed shut and fell backwards to reveal his older sister, energy crackling around her.

"Don't mess with my brother." The older girl shouldered both of their backpacks. "Come on, Jason. Let's go find dad."

* * *

Hazel looked out the window as her brother put their luggage in the overhead storage. Tears crawled out of her eyes as she watched the ground drift further away from the plane. This would most likely be the last time she saw her parents for a long time.

Nico squeezed his sister's shoulder from her left. "Hey, you okay?"

Hazel shook her head and brought her legs up to her chest. "Why did we have to go?"

Bianca took her hand from her right. "Because we have to. It's safer for us, it's safer for mom and dad, and it's safer for the other people," she whispered the last part to not attract attention.

When Hazel looked back and forth between her siblings in bemusement.

Nico sighed. "We are different…We're not like them."

Hazel looked at him almost furious. "You mean, we're freaks."

Bianca waved her hands frantically. "No, never that! Let us explain."

Hazel nodded in agreement, and Nico opened one of the lights.

The girl rolled her eyes. "Very… impressive." Her sarcastic demeanor faded when her brother snapped his fingers and the light died out...along with the rest of the cabin.

Before anyone could move, the lights came alive again. The pilot apologized for what happened and waved it off as the copilot accidentally pressing the button that turned of all the lights, but Hazel and her siblings knew better.

The girl immediately understood what her siblings were trying to say. The reason why they were secluded from other children, the reason why metal would seem to react to her touch, or why she could sense gemstones in the earth. They were mutants.

Bianca clasped her hand again. "Do you understand?" She nodded.

Nico then took Hazel's other hand. "We are more than those...mortals will ever be."

That was the day Hazel realized she had more potential than she thought, and that her brother's eyes could turn pitch black.

* * *

"Dad, why are we here?" A young girl asked her father as they stood in front of a large mansion.

The man knelt on one knee and smiled at his daughter. "Remember that school I told you about? The one for special kids, like you?"

She nodded.

"Well, this is it."

The girl visibly brightened and hugged her father. "Thanks, Dad."

"Of course, sweetheart." He kissed her cheek. "Stay safe."

"You too. I love you." The girl waved to her father as she dragged her suitcase and stepped onto the porch of the mansion where an elderly man in a wheelchair waited.

"Bye, Piper. I love you too."

* * *

Annabeth adjusted her backpack as she walked down the street.

' _Just a little bit more,'_ she thought, exhausted. She pulled her hoodie over her head to protect it from the elements.

Annabeth went around the corner and stopped in front of a large building masked by the fog.

"This is the place; _Chiron's School for Gifted Youngsters_ ," she read aloud the sign that marked the identity of the property.

Annabeth couldn't help but feel both hopeful and bitter at the same time. Hopeful because maybe this place would be her first real home in years. Maybe she could be accepted for who she is, maybe she could go past the stereotypical boundaries and prove those people wrong. The people that caused her to run away in the first place. Her parents.

Well, it was really her father and her stepmother. Annabeth's mother, Athena, disappeared a few years after Annabeth was born. The teen assumed it was for the same reason she left. Then, her stepmother came along. At first, it was fine. Annabeth got along with her step-brothers, albeit her relationship with her stepmother was somewhat strained. Annabeth excelled in school, had a decent group of friends and always made her father proud.

Then her powers showed. It was subtle, at first. Objects would roll into her hand, or she would hear people's conversations from far away. Not enough to be noticed. But, when her powers peaked her interest, well... To make it simple, let's just say _curiosity feeds the beast._ The more Annabeth paid attention to her powers, the stronger and more noticeable they get. Objects would float, and she would be able to hear people's actual thoughts.

Her teachers found out one day, when Annabeth was being praised for her academic achievements and one of her classmates thought ill of her. She heard it and immediately called out the student on his _choice_ words, yet everyone was confused because the student didn't say anything. After class and some heavy interrogation, the teachers concluded Annabeth was one of _them_. From that day forth, Annabeth's life went downhill. Fellow students would either bully her or be scared of her, old friends stayed away to protect their reputations, teachers failed her despite acing every test, every quiz, and every exam.

When her parents found about this, they had mixed reactions. Her stepmother was furious; whenever Annabeth would go home holding a leaf of paper with a giant red letter, she would be hit. Every time an object even wobbled and she was just _standing_ in the room, another hit.

Her stepbrothers started to get scared of her. The normally playful and mischievous pair of five year-olds learned to plan their schedules to spend as little time as possible with Annabeth. Whenever they made eye contact, Annabeth could tell from the look in their eyes that they were wondering when she would snap and hurt them.

Her father, though, was the worst. He wouldn't look up from reading when his wife beat his child, he wouldn't say a word when he saw the boys gave Annabeth the cold shoulder, he wouldn't even look at her when she told him about how she was bullied in school. And when Annabeth did manage to get his attention, she would regret it. The look in his eyes filled Annabeth with guilt for some reason. It was as if his father was saying that she brought all of this on herself. As if being herself was the problem. But, was it her fault that she was given these powers? Was it her fault that everyone hated her and anyone like her? Apparently it was.

So here she was now, standing in front of one of the last places in the country where she could feel safe. Hopefully, this home would last.

She walked down the path, then up the porch and stopped at the door. ' _This is it. Good luck, me.'_ Annabeth took a deep breath and knocked.

No reply.

She knocked again.

Nothing.

She raised her fist to knock a third time when the door opened to reveal a raven-haired boy her age who was _gorgeous_ in Annabeth's eyes, and an old man in a wheelchair.

The man gestured for Annabeth to enter, and said with kind eyes, "Welcome home, child."

* * *

Frank wandered the halls of his new school in search of the office of the headmaster. His grandmother sent him here when it was discovered he possessed the 'family gift.' After putting his bags in his assigned room, he was told to talk to Chiron about his class schedule.

Frank passed the other rooms, and saw strange things. There was a girl, a few years older than him, in a room filled with potted plants. When the girl saw him, she waved and so did the _plants_.

A boy was sleeping in another room. Frank assumed he had hypnokinesis because, ironically, his even his _snoring_ was powerful enough to make Frank drowsy.

Another room showed two burly people, one male and one female, bending massive rods of iron and steel with their bare hands.

A girl walked passed Frank, brushing her hair. And, each time her hand went through, it changed color. From blonde to black to brown, even blue.

Then, he passed by a window, and saw two boys making _hurricanes_. If Frank squinted, he could see that the raven-haired boy was controlling the water, while the blonde looked as if he was blowing wind into the vortex. Frank watched in awe as the hurricane grew, yet nothing was bothered by its forces.

"That's Jason and Percy; also known as Atmosphere and Hydro Marine."

Frank jumped at the sudden voice, and turned a dark-skinned girl with cinnamon brown hair and golden eyes. He blushed as the words ' _pretty'_ and ' _beautiful'_ popped up in his mind.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," the girl apologized, apparently flushing. Frank couldn't tell if it was because she was embarrassed or because of another reason. "My name's Hazel." Hazel held her hand out.

"Frank." He took her hand and felt a spark. Surprised, Frank recoiled, and it turns out, Hazel felt it too because she flinched as well.

"Sorry" "Sorry" Both blushed as they apologized at the same time.

When his heartbeat finally calmed down, he asked, "Um, do you know where Chiron's office is?"

Hazel nodded. "Let me show you."

As they walked, Hazel described the mansion. From the kitchen to the library. They even had an underground laboratory and an invisible jet. Sadly, Frank wasn't able to see the aircraft. _It's like it was invisible._

Eventually, they ran out of rooms to describe, so they made small talk.

"So Frank, what's your power? I have both Geokinesis and Ferrokinesis."

Frank stared at her in awe. "I'm a shapeshifter."

Hazel's eyes gleamed in curiosity as she bombarded him in questions about his powers which he attempted to answer.

"What can you turn into?" "Animals."

"Like all of them?" "I don't know I never tired."

"Even the dinosaurs?" "Maybe, I told you I haven't tried."

"What's your alias?" "My what-what-as?"

Frank's heart fluttered when Hazel giggled. "It's your codename, so to speak. Like, the two guys from before; Percy and Jason?" Frank nodded. "I also said they were called Hydro Marine and Atmosphere."

"Oh okay, I don't have one. But, I'll think of something. What's yours?"

Hazel checked to see if anyone was looking then leaned towards him. "I haven't told anyone yet, but I'm thinking about _Arkenstone_."

Frank raised his eyebrow. "That sounds familiar."

Hazel shrugged. "I got it from a book. It's about a world of mythical creatures where this one guy from a group called the Hobbits…"

Frank was never interested in reading, but after he met Hazel, he couldn't wait to start.

* * *

"Spotlight, we need to go!"

"In a minute," Will, A.K.A Spotlight, shouted at his friend Blackout, some call Nico. "I'm almost done."

Nico and Will were currently in the vaults of one of the most secure places on the planet; the Lotus Casino. On the outside, it looked like any normal five-star hotel. But, in reality, it was the one place that had information on literally everything on the planet. Massive underground caverns held mountains of information, including the plans of the larger mutant prisons, along with a list of its prisoners.

"Incoming." Nico unsheathed his two-and-a-half feet sword. It was pitch black and was sharp enough to cut through stone. Three guards were currently running towards the duo with tranquilizer guns. Apparently, Gaea (the CEO of the company that owns the Lotus) prefers to have a chat with intruders before ' _escorting them off the premises.'_

"Well, distract them."

Grumbling under his breath, Nico snapped his fingers and the room went dark, proof of his codename, giving Nico a chance to attack while the guards were disoriented. After, a few minutes the guards were easily dispatched.

Nico turned to see Will clapping his hands in mock-awe. "Now, that wasn't so bad was it?"

"Let's just go," Nico muttered as he grabbed onto Will's arm, and willed the shadows to bend around them. He grinned, Nico was in his element. He was also on the way to sending Will into cardiac arrest. Luckily, they arrived at their destination before that could happen.

When the shadows uncoiled, the two were able to see Chiron outside of his chair, beside him was Grover. Chiron and Grover had special powers that weren't able to be 'cured,' as so wonderfully stated by the humans.

Chiron had the upper body of man, but the body of a white stallion. He was born with human legs, but as he grew, his lower body turned into that of a horse's.

Grover was the same, but with a goat's brown hindquarters. Unlike Chiron, Grover was able to walk more freely, under a disguise of course.

Because of that Chiron had the name Chiron, like the centaur in Greek myths, and Grover was called Composite, synonym of the word 'hybrid.'

"What do you have?" The eldest of the four asked, as Grover welcomed the two back with a bro-hug.

"We have so much," Nico said excited. This was one of their more successful missions.

Will, however, didn't feel the same. "We have a problem."

Chiron gestured for Will to continue.

"We need to act fast. Or fifty mutants are gonna go down under."

* * *

 **I have no idea how to properly end in a cliffhanger.**

 **No headcannons this time.**

 **Sorry for the lack of chapter tomorrow, I'll definitely make up for it!**

 **See you next time on** _ **~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~**_ **(insert catchy jingle here).**

* * *

" **Hey, Aunt Hestia?"**

" **What is it, Percy?"**

" **Remember...when Grover brought the ophiotaurus to Olympus?"**

" **The entrails of the ophiotaurus attract a great deal of forces."**

" **Do you remember the dinosaurs?...Yeah, this force is the reason why they went extinct."**

" _ **Bak"**_

* * *

 **Bak Baak!**


	11. Revelations

**Honestly, I find this one absolutely hilarious and weird. Sorry for not updating last week, I got sapped into Youtube** _ **(again)**_ **. And so I don't get overwhelmed, I'm only going to post one chapter a week instead (Thursday or Friday). But, don't worry, sometimes I would get inspired and right a lot.**

 **Another one of my theories on both the Riordanverse and real life.**

 **Thanks to ElesaDaughterofHecate, ARandomFangirler, Guest, ArcticHuntress, LimesLovePotter, and fox tamer 113.**

 **Let's begin!**

 **Welcome back to** _ **~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~**_ **(insert catchy jingle here)**

 **Yes, I know the theory I will propose is absurd, but it's funny. I also may or may not have had eaten a lot of sugar while watching Ice Age.**

* * *

 **Revelations**

* * *

Today, the demigods were currently out having a barbecue in Central Park. It was the day after they watched over Olympus, and Hestia wanted to celebrate by a classic American lunch in the Great Outdoors...in the city.

Anyways...

The gods, of course, were cooking.

Hephaestus and Ares were bickering at the grill. Demeter was mixing sixteen different kinds of salad, half of them really just cereal and milk. Persephone and Athena were picking fruit, while Apollo and Artemis brought in animal carcasses from the forest. Don't ask.

So, while the gods were busy, the demigods decided to play around. Some were swimming, others were tree climbing, and others were messing with the mortals.

Life was great.

Piper decided to take a walk in the woods with Hazel decided to join her and talk about random stuff. Like how a few months ago they nearly died on more than one occasion, how things were going in the camps, and their conspiracy theories.

"I'm telling you Hazel, gods from other pantheons are alive!"

"How? I mean, we don't have proof they exist, and we haven't seen any signs they are," Hazel argued, unconvinced by Piper's theory that if Roman and Greek gods exist, then surely other gods do as well.

"I heard from Percy-"

"Really Piper? I would understand if it was Annabeth, but Percy?"

When Piper nodded vigorously, the daughter of Pluto let out a sigh.

"This is exactly like the time you said Percy was a secret agent just because you found a fedora and those machine thingies in Percy's cabin."

"But, Percy _is_ a secret agent." Piper pouted.

"Yeah, and dodos aren't extinct," Hazel retorted sarcastically.

"Hazel, you're right." The girl stopped in her tracks and looked at the charmspeaker with a raised eyebrow.

Piper pointed to a shape in the brush. "Doesn't that look like a dodo to you?"

Hazel turned to where Piper was pointing, and, yes, there was indeed a dodo bird sitting in a bush.

It looked exactly like the pictures; it had short legs. Dark gray plumage that lightened as it neared the bird's underbelly, and a white poofy tail like a rooster's. There were small wings that indicated it was flightless, and a large pinkish beak. Beady eyes looked up at half-immortal ones.

Hazel picked the bird up, and there was no protest.

"Aww, she's adorable," Hazel cooed as the bird snuggled into her embrace.

"Where did it come from?" Piper asked mesmerized by the bird's eyes.

"Oh, I heard a colony of them was found in the Indian Ocean, and maybe this one got here on the Hermes Express?" Hazel shrugged.

"Let's ask later." Piper stroked its head. "What should we name her?"

Hazel thought for a moment. "How about Dody?"

"Dody the dodo? Sure why not." Piper had to hold back a giggle.

 _Dody the dodo? What like "Dody the dodo was a dandy dodo bird that daunted the diggery doo every delightful day using any other describable words that started with the letter D. Dang.  
_  
A bell rang throughout the forest signaling the food was ready.

The two girls made eye contact.

Hazel shouted frantically, "If we don't hurry, we won't have any food left!"

Piper was way ahead of her. "Race you there!" She waved as she sprinted through the Park.

"Hey, no fair! Carrying a previously extinct flightless bird here!"

* * *

"Hey, Aunt Hestia?" Percy spoke to his passive-aggressive immortal aunt as he munched on a cheeseburger.

"What is it, Percy?" She smiled at him.

"Remember a few years ago, when Grover brought the ophiotaurus to Olympus?"

The goddess hummed in agreement.

"Well, what exactly does it do?" He continued when no one at the table understood the question. "What happens when someone kills it? I mean, we went through all that trouble protecting it, yet we have no idea what would happen if someone did."

At this, Hestia did a spit take.

 ** _'There goes a perfectly good milkshake.'_** **"C-come again?"**

Exasperated, Percy repeated the question.

"That's a good point. If we know what happens, then we can take extra measures to protect Bessie if, let's say, killing her alone won't bring someone power, however strong it is," Annabeth pointed out.

Hestia laughed nervously. "About that..."

"Yes?" Annabeth asked, pointedly.

Hestia looked around, desperate for someone to take over this situation. For some reason, most of the immortals conveniently disappeared as if to prevent from acknowledging the question. "Aha, Poseidon!"

Said god looked up from his ribs, mouth full of lamb. Barbecue sauce dripped onto his bib that had a picture of a lobster on it. Very attractive.

The goddess of the hearth shook her head in annoyance and whispered to the sea god the aforementioned question.

The god visibly paled, which made the demigods wonder what could possibly come from the ophiotaurus that would scare two Olympians. They could only wonder.

When Hestia pulled away, Poseidon let out a sigh. He turned to the gathered demigods.

"The entrails of the ophiotaurus attract a great deal of forces. The one that is powerful enough to destroy Olympus... Well, to give you an idea. Do you remember the dinosaurs?"

Everyone nodded. Who

 ** _doesn't_** **know the dinosaurs?**

Poseidon wiped his hands on a paper towel. "Yeah, this force is the reason why they went extinct."

Everyone paled, except one. "You mean, Bessie's entrails attract a meteor? Wouldn't that be counterproductive?" Calypso pointed out.

Everyone burst into laughter, except the two gods present. When they calmed down, Poseidon spoke again. "That meteor thingy was what mortals think happened. In reality, this force was strong enough to wipe of the face of the planet."

Everyone gulped.

"And yes, the force attracted to Bessie is far worse than any meteor. They are a race of vile creatures that destroy everything in their path. There used to be a calmer version of them, but they were hunted to extinction. The absolute natives still exist, and they are bloodthirsty."

"What do they look like?" Leo passed a sketchpad to Calypso.

"They look like-" Poseidon started.

 ** _"Bak"_**

Hestia shrieked in terror and practically jumped on the table when she saw the source of the peculiar sound.

Everyone looked to the side to see Hazel and Piper running from the forest holding a bird.

Frank squinted. "Is that a dodo?"

Poseidon paled and froze as the bird approached, while most of the demigods attempted to stifle their awe and/or laughter.

"Where is the monster?" Percy looked around, failing to see what the others were laughing about.

"Seaweed Brain, that bird is what they're scared of," Annabeth stated amused.

"T-that's not j-just any bird, i-it's the dodo!" Hestia stuttered.

 ** _"Bak?"_** **The supposed bane of Olympus jumped from Hazel's arms and approached the sources of noise, in particular, Hestia.**

The goddess yelped and jumped behind Poseidon. "T-take it away from me!" Her voice getting dangerously close to reaching the decibel at which only dogs could decipher.

Piper picked up the dodo and cooed at it. "What, Dody? She's harmless."

Poseidon pointed a finger at Piper. "You dare name that vile creature?"

"Aren't they extinct?" Jason pointed out. "Even if the 'dangerous' versions exist, this one's not attacking."

The bird cooed back when Hazel rubbed its head. "I heard a secret colony was found on the islands they were originally found on."

Poseidon and Hestia laughed at each other nervously then approached the dodo. Poseidon reached out a hand toward it as if the bird was a diseased dirt bag. "The secret colony are the vicious ones."

When the bird didn't do anything except stare curiously at the sea god's hand, Poseidon let out a sigh of relief and pet the bird...

The dodo then proceeded to bite and peck at Poseidon's hand. "IT'S ATTACKING! RUN AWAY!" The sea god flinched and ran away from the bird.

The bird then turned to Hestia, who was backed up against a tree. She tried for the casual approach. "Nice birdie-"

Apparently, the dodo didn't appreciated being called that, so it pounced towards Hestia who screamed and ran up the tree. Luckily, dodos are flightless. "Stay away from me, you horrible creature."

The dodo huffed in satisfaction and turned to attack the other gods, but there were no gods to attack.

They either ran away in terror, or the dodo chased the two gods really far away.

The nearby demigods however, looked like they couldn't decide if to be scared or to laugh themselves to death from the sudden revelation.

Oh well. T

he dodo looked the skies and squawked.

 _"Bak bak baak BAK"_ (Let the hunt BEGIN!)

* * *

Artemis and Apollo were out in the forest hunting once again. People would think it was pointless since all there is to hunt are squirrels, pigeons, and oversized turtles the size of manhole covers. But, since Artemis was the goddess of the hunt, any common domesticated animal she could think of would find its way into the park for them to hunt. Because they're more delicious that way.

Currently, they were after a stocky grey turkey that managed to evade both the quick gods. It somehow managed to go around every trap in the forest, dodge every arrow, it basically dragged the two from one end of the park to the other, and they didn't even get a full glimpse of it. Worse, the hunt was going so bad that Apollo was making haikus.

Artemis was sure that Tartarus was a better punishment than this.

" _This bird is not bad,_

 _Even I cannot catch it,_

 _Me, Apollo, The Awesome."_

Artemis banged her head against the tree she was lying against. "Congratulations, brother. You have made yourself even more of an idiot."

Apollo facepalmed. "You're right."

Artemis looked at him wide-eyed. Was he finally going to admit to his idiocy? Maybe even own up to his mistakes and Father would finally realize Artemis is the better child? Maybe he will even admit to Artemis being the better, brighter and best of all, _older_ sister. Maybe even-

"That last line was seven syllables. How about _Me, Apollo, Perfect_? That's wonderful! Thanks, sis." He patted the moon goddess on the back as she sulked against the tree. "You're not bad as I thought. You might even be almost as good as me!" He sat down next to her.

Artemis looked up at him in bemusement. ' _Well, that's a start.'_

She opened her mouth to say something, but instead, the caw of a bird the shrill scream of someone filled the sky.

Sneaking a glance at each other, the god and the goddess ran off to whoever was being terrorized by a turkey-bird-thing.

They finally found the bird chasing Poseidon around in circles. Turns out Poseidon could be a soprano.

After three minutes of laughter, only then did the twins realize the identity of the creature chasing the sea god. Much to their horror, it was one of the most dangerous creatures on the planet. An animal so treacherous that even Artemis didn't dare hunt it. A bird so powerful it could destroy the gods once awakened, and destroyed the dinosaurs the last time it did. An avian so sly that it can trick anybody, with its plump and plushy looks, but in reality it was belligerent and more bloodthirsty than even Ares. An extinct organism whose docile brethren was driven to extinction giving it even more of a reason to be furious at humanity and the gods that forced them to do it out of fear. This thing was...the dodo. It had more reason to hate the gods than even Gaea. And, that's saying something.

Almost on instinct, Apollo nocked an arrow. Artemis only had time to scream "NO!" before the arrow was let loose.

The results, however, were to be expected. Instead of impaling the dodo between the eyes, the arrow was grabbed by the dodo's talons and tossed at Poseidon. This arrow was one of Apollo's 'knock-me-out' versions (an arrow with a big rock on the end), so the sea god was knocked out cold.

After checking whether or not the god would wake up, the dodo bird then turned to the twin archers. It looked at Apollo. Artemis could see the understanding in its eyes that her brother was the one who shot the arrow. Artemis never noticed until now how intelligent those eyes looked. The way it looked at every thing was reminiscent to how Athena assessed a situation. Cold and analyzing. As if this group of birds has seen more than any other being. Then again, they have been on this earth since the dawn of time.

The dodo then looked at the moon goddess. Anger washed over its face and it cawed defiantly as if to intimidate the goddess. It knew very well that Artemis was the one to lead the hunt against the dodos.

If there was one thing the twins could agree on, it was that the dodo succeeded in scaring the life out of the two.

The dodo pounced at Apollo who flinched and, as a result, the bird was now on his head pecking at his eyes, ears and mouth while the sun god flailed around. Hands waving, frantic screaming, the god of poetry tripped over his uncle, face first into the ground. He was knocked unconscious as well.

The dodo then jumped at Artemis, who shakily tried to get her bow. She tried to calm herself down. ' _They can sense fear. You need to calm down.'_ But alas, it was a failure as the moment the dodo let out a caw, Artemis bolted, screaming for help. The bird chased after her.

Any watching bystanders would be confused as to why a woman with an old-fashioned bow was running from an oversized pigeon.

* * *

The librarian could never believe her eyes as she saw a dodo. An actual dodo! Normally, she would've called animal control, but come on! It's a _dodo._

It was a little bit weird that it walked out of the library with a cookbook in its beak. She swore she saw the words _Cooking...mortals...Dummies_.

What could that have been about?

* * *

 _ **Several hours later…**_

...

 _Add the meat, and let simmer for thirty minutes._

 _Place into the oven at 350 for three hours._

 _Ready for eating. Serves 14 per immortal._

Dorothy read over the recipe again to make sure she was doing it right. Standing over the cauldron she placed in the ingredients.

 _Fill bowl with water from the 'Pool of Life'_

She filled the cauldron with water from a nearby pond conveniently called the Pool of Life, despite the many deaths there. She let it heat up as she gathered the other ingredients.

 _Add 5 pounds of rich soil_

Dorothy dumped in a load of dirt she found nearby.

 _Add 500 grams of Sulphur_

She dropped the bag into the cauldron. Where and how she got hold a kilogram of sulphur, I have no idea.

 _Crush and add 5 Feathers_

Instead of plucking her own feathers, Dorothy grabbed the fletchlings of Artemis and Apollo's arrows. She sprinkled them like pepper into the mixture.

 _Slice 2 Golden Apples into wedges_

Dorothy cut up the apples with her beak and dropped them into the cauldron.

Grabbing an Imperial Gold spoon, Dorothy stirred until it turned into a colorful brown.

Combined, this would make a powerful healing potion for humans, but for gods, it would weaken them enough for their essence to be consumed.

If one were to think about it, not exactly following everything in the recipe should screw it over, but she did technically follow everything, even the apples. One from a nearby temple to Hera, another from a cranky man that reminded Dorothy of a six year old girl.

When finished, it looked like some muddy water with golden apple slices.

Dorothy cackled as she watched the twelve Olympians and several minor gods hanging in a Celestial Bronze net above the giant cooking apparatus. Normally, cooking the gods doesn't work, but since this is a story about a dodo being the bane of Olympus and the author already stretched the fragments of reality by saying that they also killed the dinosaurs, let's roll with it.

All of the immortals were spouting apologies and threats demanding to be released. Dorothy, however, paid them no mind and proceeded to lower the net into the potion.

Just before the net touched the muddy liquid, an ostrich barreled past Dorothy and straight into the net as an arrow pierced the rope the chord attached to the tree.

Surprised by the sudden ambush, Dorothy turned to see a glowing blonde boy and a black-haired one that seemed to absorb the light of the former. Patting the ground angrily, Dorothy cawed and prepared to jumped at the blonde's face.

She would've scratched out the boy's eyes if it weren't for a loud "STOP" that halted all everyone in their tracks.

The dodo bird looked towards the source of the word, and saw the girls who spotted her earlier, and brought her to her enemies, along with the other demigods.

Dorothy deduced that if the brunette managed to stop her from moving entirely, then she is someone not worth fighting. If only she packed another anti-magic gag. She used the last two on Aphrodite and Hecate. Instead, Dorothy put on her 'innocent' face. She let out an innocent caw, and calmed down her heartbeat. The intelligent gleam in her eyes faded, and was replaced by one of obliviousness.

"Dody? What are you doing?" Piper asked, eyes wary. It was obvious any doubts the daughter of Aphrodite had about dodos and Olympus were gone. She held her bronze knife as if she was deciding whether to skewer or fillet Dorothy. Neither of which she would appreciate.

"Please stop this, Dody. Even if you are meant to destroy the gods doesn't mean you have to," the other girl, Hazel, pleaded. Dorothy could see the desperation in their eyes, but also the honesty.

Sighing (could birds sigh?), she sat down and started cawing.

Piper asked confused, "What's she saying?"

Grover spoke up, "I can translate." He listened to the dodo continue. "She says that their kind has been thriving for millions of years. We have been on this earth long before any human. We were always small race. The immortals ignored us, and payed more attention to the larger creatures and to each other. That gave us an advantage. We could move without being seen, live without any major predator, survive without immediate threat.

While some may see this as a blessing, we saw this as a curse. How would you feel if you spent eons being ignored by creatures larger than you. Even if you walk right in front or attack them, they would completely ignore you. Tell me how could you not get bitter or vengeful. Ignorance after all, is far worse than hatred."

Both Grover and Dorothy paused to let her words sink demigods avoided her gaze as they slowly understood her story. Dorothy looked to the trapped gods to see their reactions, and saw guilt ridden in their eyes, which surprised the bird. Then again, these are slightly less uncompassionate immortals that care a _tiny_ bit more about others than the Titans and the giants.

"Eventually our bitterness grew to such large proportions that we wanted to act. We trained, we gathered knowledge about the weaknesses and strengths of the immortals. And since we were ignored, our goals triumphed. We would become the most bloodthirsty and belligerent race to walk this earth. Creatures from all walks of life would bow down before us. Eventually, we would cause two of the five mass extinctions." Everyone gulped at that thought.

"When the first Titanomachy happened and the ophiotaurus was slain-"

"Wait, I thought they failed to kill him?" Annabeth interrupted.

Dorothy looked her over. Blonde curls, stormy grey eyes, an analyzing gaze was permanently plastered onto her face. She could respect this one, it seeked knowledge like she did.

"They weren't, but they did manage to injure him enough to attract a great deal of forces. You see, the blood of the ophiotaurus is like a rare delicacy. Few creatures have set their eyes on it, even fewer have actually tasted it. Stories about it were spread far and wide, enough that one would be able to recognize the scent.

We were attracted as well. But, when we arrived at the palace of the Titans, could you guess what happened? We were the laughing stock of the room. A bunch of plump tiny flightless birds attacking Olympus? Hilarious. Imagine that. The one time we are noticed, the first time in centuries we finally had a chance to prove ourselves, and we were humiliated. That only fueled our anger, we left the palace and plotted our revenge.

The battle happened several years later, and it looked amazing. Legions of creatures that no longer walk the planet, alongside rows and rows of monsters and immortals that ringed the entire base of Mount Olympus. This was our moment. Before a battle cry even left one's mouth, we attacked. To the gods and the Titans, it was nightmare. To us, it was our moment to prove what the dodos are truly made of."

Grover paled as he heard the series of noises that came from the bird. "That was the day the dinosaurs ceased to exist."

Silence.

No one could believe what they were hearing, but at the same time, it made sense.

Dorothy continued her story. "It was quite a shock to see the most powerful mortal forces eliminated by a bunch of small creatures. But, that was only the beginning.

Once we were satisfied with terrifying the immortal world, we retreated. We went into hiding. While the gods and Titans continued to war, we were able to live peacefully. When the war was over, the gods did not forget our actions. They tracked us down, and another war started.

That led to the end of the Ice Age, and nearly every creature that lived during it. But, this time, we drastically lost. Millions of our kind dead, we barely escaped with the feathers on our tails. A small group of us travelled to Asia, and were separated from the rest of the world when Poseidon raised the sea level. We were isolated to Mauritius.

We were able to thrive, no one was willing to communicate with us directly, so we were let be. Eventually, our endeavors of the past were forgotten on both ends, and we turned into the docile creatures you know of today.

That all ended, however, the day humans discovered us. The gods were alerted of our presence and immediately set on high alert. Their terror quickly receded, though, when they realized that we had no memory of the past, and that we grew tame. And that was when they attacked."

Dorothy paused and looked down. When she raised her head, everyone could see that her eyes glistened with sadness.

"The humans, at first, were friendly to us, as they mostly were when it came to animals. But, the gods manipulated the humans. They found a taste for _our_ blood."

Piper retched in disgust and covered her mouth, as the dodo nodded in agreement.

"They hunted nearly all of us, but remember that we, dodos are resilient. We knew something would happen similar to this, so we filled the nearby caves with supplies and furnished to make it suitable for us to live in. We went into hiding.

So few of us remained, so many were gone. Decades we hid in fear, hoping for a chance to revive. And as we waited, we slowly remembered, and here we are now.

Decades of waiting for revenge, and now I can practically feel it. You know our story, you know exactly why I am doing this."

Dorothy moved towards the net, but was picked up by Piper and hugged by Hazel. "You still don't have to do this," Piper whispered.

"If you learn to forgive, then you can show that you're the better person, or bird." Hazel agreed.

Dorothy made a sound.

Everyone looked to Grover who perked up in response to the bird. "She's asking what about her brethren, the gods would obviously try to kill them all."

Percy spoke up. "I have an idea."

* * *

And so, there was peace.

Dorothy and her siblings are now the new army of Olympus. Anyone who tries to overthrow the balance of Western Civilization will have to face them.

Zeus gave them pardon, and him, the gods, and the dodos now have weekly bingo.

Apollo and Hecate further studied the potion Dorothy made and are attempting to cancel its effects on immortals.

Hera replaced the golden apple in her shrine with a golden record. People flock from all over the world to hear of its music.

Hazel became a master ostrich racer, and Frank was the ostrich.

Piper continued to prove her conspiracies, and even convinced Fox News that climate change _is_ real.

Percy, in fear or being found out, got rid of all of the machines he stole from Gaea.

Jason would become the ambassador between dodos and the gods, among other things. He is currently building a shrine dedicated to the dodos and all the other species lost in this long fifteen era long grudge.

Leo and Calypso make a living out making tiny dodo hats and armor.

Reyna adopted a dodo as her own, adding yet another animal to the never ending list of pets of our demigod friends.

Will and Nico make a living out of teaching dodos and other animals martial arts. So far, a panda and a snake has joined their ranks.

George and Martha weren't in this episode.

Poseidon finished his ribs.

Artemis gave the remaining dodos her blessing. Any one who tries to exploit them for their own personal gain will be hunted by the goddess herself. Assuming of course, the dodos don't get to them first.

And for Annabeth? Let's find out, shall we?

* * *

Annabeth was taking a stroll through Camp Half-Blood when she tripped over a small rock.

Grumbling to herself, Annabeth brushed dust of her pants and looked behind her to see a elevator-shaped rock. ' _That wasn't there before,'_ she mused.

Curious, the daughter of Athena entered the elevator. It looked a lot more sophisticated than from the outside, but there was only one button. She pressed it.

As the metal box went down, music played that reminded Annabeth of the theme from a TV show. Which one, however, she couldn't remember.

The box stopped and opened.

Annabeth's eyes widened in surprise as she saw Percy.

The son of Poseidon sensed her presence, and held up his hands. "Annabeth, it's not what it looks like."

Annabeth covered her mouth. "Not what it looks like? Percy, you have a _fedora gallery_ right underneath the camp!"

True to her words, racks and racks of fedoras filled the room. Of all sizes, and all colors. And for some reason, the mannequins were _platypi_.

Percy shrugged. "You got me. You should go now. Talk to you later? Okay." He hurriedly pushed his girlfriend into the elevator.

"Wait, Percy-" The door cut of her words.

The son of Poseidon leaned against the doors, and let out a sigh of relief. "That was close. Grover, we're moving the elevator again."

Grover wailed. "Already? I just installed it."

* * *

 **And that was** _ **~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~**_ **(insert catchy jingle here).**

 **Sorry for the delay, here's some headcannons:**

 _ **Dodos are the bane of Olympus**_

 _ **Dodos killed the dinosaurs**_

 _ **Dodos are older than the dinosaurs**_

 _ **Dodos are bloodthirsty**_

 _ **Dodos are still alive**_

 _ **The Gulf of Mexico is a trick of the Mist**_

 _ **Fumblemore's Potion can drain the gods of their power**_

 _ **Hazel is now an ostrich racer**_

 _ **Dodos have made more headcannons in one chapter than everyone else did**_

 **Tune in next time…**

* * *

" **WHY ARE THERE MORE LINES!"**

" **This place is worse than the Labyrinth, at least you have a way of escaping there."**

" **Their food is actually delicious."**

" **Leo, you go into that bright and sunny place while we get the boring stuff."**

" **Okay!"**

" **You just sent him into daycare…"**

" **What's wrong?"**

" **It's for five-year olds."**

* * *

 **Adjö!**


	12. A Trip to Ikea

**Welcome back to** _ **~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~**_ **(insert catchy jingle here)!**

 **Apologies, but Magnus Chase came out last week (I seriously need to follow my schedules).**

 **It was FANTASTIC! I might have to include some stuff from there in here now.**

 **Thanks to daichi95.**

 **NOTE: I had to look for an actual map for this. I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians or Ikea.**

 **I'm assuming you all have been to Ikea, so I won't detail as much.**

* * *

 **A Trip to Ikea**

* * *

Another quest this time.

Jason, Leo and Piper were wandering aimlessly in New York City all because Rachel decided to walk into the Big House.

They didn't even know what they were doing! The only thing they could follow was a prophecy that made no sense.

It all started like this…

 _Leo and Jason were having a game of chess while Piper was doing a crossword puzzle._

 _The occasional argument would pop up, but apart from that, it was peaceful._

 _A knock was came from the door along with a "Hello?"_

" _Come in!" Piper shouted._

 _The door opened and Rachel walked in._

 _Leo waved while studying the table. "Hey Rachel, what's up?"_

 _Immediately, Rachel stilled. The door closed shut and her eyes turned green. Her mouth opened and green mist spilled out. Jason rushed and grabbed a chair for the mortal to sit on._

 _The three demigods stood in front of Rachel as the mist formed shapes._

" _Structure of wood, structure of stone,_

 _Child of love shall drastically moan,_

 _Go to the place effects are made,_

 _Daughter of Zeus trapped in wake_

 _Destined to learn instructional hate."_

 _The mist re-entered Rachel's mouth and she passed out._

 _As Jason and Leo placed the Oracle on the couch, Piper moaned. "Guys, quest time."_

So here they were now, in the Big Apple. No map, no directions, and no sanity. It was getting boring.

Seriously, why on earth did Rachel even do that? There wasn't even the need for a quest! If they ever get out of this mess, Piper will give Rachel a piece of her mind. She was so mad she couldn't even think of a punishment. She was so mad she didn't notice the person she ran into.

"Hey, watch it!" The other person yelled.

Piper rubbed her head, "I'm sorry-" Her eyes widened in surprise. "Percy?"

Percy looked up and smiled. "Oh hey, Piper."

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, we just visited my mom and now we're headed back to camp." He gestured to Annabeth, Will, Nico, Frank, Hazel, Calypso and Reyna who all waved and went back to whatever argument they were doing. "What about you?" he asked.

Piper sighed. "We're on a quest," Jason answered for her.

Percy blanched. "What? Again? Annabeth!" He called out to the daughter of Athena.

"Percy, what is it?"Annabeth questioned.

"They have a quest." He pointed to the trio.

"Prophecy." Annabeth demanded. The daughter quickly snatched away the piece of paper with the prophecy as Leo took it out.

As her eyes scanned the lines, her face went several shades lighter. Percy glanced over her shoulder and gulped. The two looked at each other and had what seemed like a mental argument.

After a few minutes, the other demigods gathered. Hazel skimmed the prophecy and passed it to the others. At the same time, Annabeth and Percy seemed to have ended their argument.

Annabeth sighed. "Come, we know exactly where you need to go."

* * *

 _ **One Awkward Cab Ride Later…**_

* * *

"Ikea? You brought us to _Ikea?!_ " Piper wailed as the others slowly climbed out of their small cab convoy. "How the Hades is this supposed to relate to the prophecy?"

"Stop profanifying my father!" Nico interrupted.

Annabeth gestured to the paper, ignoring the son of Hades' protests. "Structure of wood," she pointed to the various wooden supports dotted around within the large blue building. "Structure of stone," she tapped her foot on the stone-cold floor. "The place where effects are made. Piper, 'effects' can be a synonym to _furniture_."

"But, what about Thalia and instructional hate?" Leo pointed out.

Annabeth shrugged. "I have no idea. I guess we'll just have to find out." She ended with that and entered the store.

The front entrance was a long room that sort of looked like a warehouse-style hotel. In the center was a circular concierge desk with four people seated within. The wall to the right had three doors and several phone booths. The opposite one had an escalator that led to the showrooms and a set of double glass doors which opened to a brightly colored room. A small gap in the far right corner of the room showed some of the showrooms.

Annabeth went to the concierge while Calypso decided to talk to Leo before he could turn something into a weapon of mass deduction.

"Leo," the Titaness cleared her throat.

"Yes, sunshine?" He grinned.

"You go into that bright and sunny place while we get the boring stuff." Calypso pointed to the glass doors beside the escalator.

"Okay!" He hugged her, not without a chaste kiss, and pranced into the room.

Reyna watched the exchange with bemusement. "You just sent him into the daycare…" She stated.

"What's wrong?" Calypso chirped.

"It's for five year olds."

Calypso's eyes widened in realization and ran after Leo. "I forgot! An adult has to be with them when they're dropped off!" She called back to Reyna.

"..."

* * *

The group went up the escalator and entered the living room room. Different styles of couches, coffee tables, ottomans and chairs made the room look like FurnitureCon.

Immediately, they found Thalia lying down on a black couch.

"Thalia!" Jason cried out. The son of Jupiter held out his arms as his sister gratefully accepted his embrace.

"Jason!" She cried out into his shoulder. Her teary eyes widened when she saw the rest of the group. "Guys, what're you doing here?"

Piper smiled. "We came to look for you, I think. We got a prophecy saying you're trapped somewhere."

Thalia frowned. "You're right." She paused for a moment. "We are trapped."

"In _Ikea?_ " Calypso deadpanned.

The daughter of Zeus grabbed the Titaness' shoulders. "This is no laughing matter, Calypso. I have been trapped in here for _days_. Here I was, doing errands for Lady Artemis when I find out I have to go here. Only, I haven't been able to get out."

Calypso pried Thalia's hands of off her and pointed. "There's a map."

"They ran out of maps," Thalia muttered. "I tried to go back to the information booth but they told me to go to the exit. But, I can't even find it. Just when you think you find the right way, you go through a shortcut and go back to where you started." She hugged Annabeth. "Please, help me. Please!" She sobbed into the daughter of Athena's shoulder.

"Don't worry, Thals," Annabeth whispered soothingly. "We'll get you out." The two started moving into the next room while the others followed.

Frank turned around to see Hazel staring at the couch Thalia was on. "Hazel?"

No answer.

"Hazel!" Frank shook her shoulder.

The daughter of Pluto flinched and blushed when she saw Frank directly behind her. "Sorry Frank, I just zoned out a bit."

He wrapped an arm around her and walked towards where the others were. "It's okay, you've never been in one of these before."

Hazel kept her eyes on the couch. "It's just that, they're so _fascinating_."

That worried Frank. Hazel never focused so much on a couch that, in fairness, was actually quite nice looking, especially with the coffee table in front of it. And those _footrests_. Gods, Frank has never seen such nice furniture before.

Wait. What?

* * *

They passed the 'Living Room Storage' area (filled with boxes and organizers) into Dining which, like the previous two rooms, had items befitting to that specific area. The only thing of notice where the three open doorways, a stand that looked like it was supposed to hold something and some very modern-looking silverware that would go great with Annabeth's designs. Not that she noticed that last part. Definitely not. Not even the way the differing colors of placemats somehow manage to highlight the food on the plate. Or how the lighting accents the plates themselves. Definitely not.

"Split up?" Percy suggested. "I mean, it's not like we're going to get lost. All of these rooms eventually lead to the exit."

"Okay," Annabeth agreed. "Nico, Frank, Hazel and Will. You guys go through the middle one. Jason, Piper, Calypso, Thalia. You guys go right, and Percy, Reyna and I will go left."

Everyone nodded and separated.

Jason supported Thalia as the four went through the small shortcut into the kitchen area. They headed right again into another room, what filled to the brim with what looked like childish decorations. Dog tail coat hangers, multicolored tables and chairs, stuffed animals and more.

Thalia perked when she saw the descending set of stairs down the room. "Freedom. FREEDOM!" She screamed as she ran down the room and practically lept down the diagonal corridor.

"Thalia!" Jason called out. When there was no response, he sighed. "Guys, come on," he uttered as he gave chase to his sister.

Piper and Leo had no choice but to follow.

* * *

"Are you sure this is the right way?"

"Positive."

"Then how come this is the third time we've entered this room?" Hazel argued with her brother as they somehow got lost.

When they entered the middle room, which had office supplies, they decided to go right which led to the kitchens. Then, they headed right again which resulted in them going back to the original room they were in. Nico then thought it was a good idea to go back to the middle room and go left instead, which lead them to going _back_ to the dining area.

The good thing was that Hazel seemed to get out of her trance after seeing row after row after row of toilets. The bad news though...

"Nico look at those dinner trays. They would go perfect with your cabin's walls." Will whispered. He seemed to be utterly mesmerised by the wooden rectangles.

"Not now Will, we need to decide which way we're gonna go." Nico waved the son of Apollo off as he stared at the same item, thinking ' _They_ do _go with my cabin's walls.'_

Meanwhile, Frank had an idea. "Guys, there was another doorway in the kitchen area. Why don't we go down there?"

Hazel smiled. "You're a genius, Frank. Come on, guys."

The two snapped out of their trance and followed the Romans into the kitchen past the children's area and into the corridor with the staircase. Just before they reached the stairs, Will spotted another doorway to somewhere.

"Oh what's this?" Will inquired and took a curious step through the opening.

Nico turned just in time to see the son of Apollo step out and with a terrified scream was pushed towards him. The two crashed on the opposite wall, and two more thuds hit Nico before everything stopped. Rubbing his head, Nico looked to see the door they previously went through close and clicked, signalling the door locked.

Nico sighed. It turns out the room they were currently in was right next to the _entrance_. Well, if at first you don't succeed…

Hazel shook her head. "This place is worse than the Labyrinth, at least you have a way of escaping there."

* * *

 _ **Ten Minutes Later…**_

* * *

Following Annabeth's suggestion of "stick to the left wall" they managed to safely go through all of the rooms only once and now were back on the first floor in the self serve area.

Only…Annabeth and Reyna seemed to have taken a liking to the DIY furniture. They managed to grab a cart and load all with tables, couches, chairs, even bed frames.

Percy wasn't doing better. He was grabbing everything blue.

At the same time, Thalia bumped into Annabeth and Reyna as they were sorting through the boxes.

"Thalia!" Annabeth shrieked in surprise. "I just organized that!"

"Sorry!"

"Hey guys," Jason greeted as Calypso waved. Percy and Reyna both blinked in confusion then immediately remembered why they were there in the first place.

"Thank the gods we got out of there," Hazel cried out in joy as she and Frank dragged Nico and Will out of the previous room.

Annabeth took a head count and nodded. "We all seem to be here, except for Leo. Why don't we pay and have some lunch in the cafeteria?"

Everyone agreed and grabbed the various items they managed to pick up.

They reached the checkout counters and after several very long queues and arguments with the cashier about the pricings, payed for all of their furniture.

They went into an elevator that led to the cafeteria to find Leo already eating ahead of them. Their heir stomachs grumbled at the sight of internationally available food dotted around the large atrium. Leo grinned at the sound of their digestive organs. "Come on guys! Their food is actually delicious!"

Calypso, with a twitching eye, screamed "WHY ARE THERE MORE LINES?" as she saw that the booths, vending machines, even the drinking fountains all had lines. Come to think of it, even the deli downstairs wasn't enough. A lot of people go to Ikea, huh?

Piper grinned maniacally. "Don't worry guys, I have a way of _convincing_ people to be faster."

Calypso gulped. What has she done? But, she shrugged it off. _Eh_

Soon, everyone managed to grab something and were now enjoying themselves.

Frank couldn't help but think, though. What could possibly have made Hazel and the others go into a furniture-induced trance?

Thalia also couldn't help but think. How could she not see the exit?

Annabeth's eye twitched. She decided to take a look at some of the instructions and they made absolutely no sense!

Ikea has great furniture, but weird instructions…

* * *

 **I actually enjoy myself in Ikea, to be honest.**

 **Anyway!**

 **Headcannons are:**

 _ **Leo goes to daycare**_

 _ **You can get into a furniture trance at Ikea**_

 _ **Ikea is worse that the Labyrinth**_

 _ **Placemats go great with tables**_

 **Again, sorry for the constant delays.**

 **See you next time on** _ **~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~**_ **(insert catchy jingle here).**

* * *

" _ **Hello Commander…"**_

* * *

 **...**


	13. Team Demigod

**Welcome back to** _ **~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~**_ **(insert catchy jingle here)!**

 **Thank you to AprilSpirit, WiseGirl8.19, God of fury, AmberAshflower, Guest, Guest, and Guest!**

 **Another AU this time, one of my favorite games of all time. I have over 240 hours in it (help me).**

 **Let the games begin…**

 **I don't own X-Com or XCOM 2, and pardon my language (I used translate for most of them).**

* * *

 **Team Demigod**

* * *

 _Those who play with the devil's toys will be brought by degrees to wield his sword._

 _-Buckminster Fuller_

An ominous object soared through the sky. The further it went, the brighter it glowed and the faster it sped. Hurtling towards the earth at increasing velocity.

It crashed in Los Angeles, California.

Octavian was an average person. White-collar job, studio apartment, some friends. But, one night he decided to go out and bring some spice to his vanilla life. Here he was now, in a black dress shirt and white skinny jeans on the way to the nearest bar.

He was about to go around the corner when something caught his eye.

A large ball of fire crashed into the center of the street straight ahead of him. Curious, the blond approached as did with several other people.

As they got closer, more details could be identified from the unidentified object sitting at the bottom of the crate, now occupying the once-intersection. It was vaguely shaped like a metallic egg. Four kite-like segments ran along it, bottom to top. A couple of nozzles popped out from each. Various lights and lines glowed as if it was a computer console. Splashes of green were scattered all around it.

A woman to Octavian's right reached out to touch the ethereal object. Just before he could reach out and stop her, panels all over the object opened and dispersed green mist, just like the stuff on the pavement and chaos came crashing down.

In a flash, the entire crowd bolted. The unlucky woman that Octavian saw approach the object earlier was being enveloped in the mist and it hardened, as if it was…a _cocoon_.

With no time to react, more things fell from above, lighting up the sky and the earth a bright orange mixed with a dull grey.

Octavian berated himself for leaving his house. What was he thinking? Leaving the house, like that. His mother was right, he should never have left home. This was probably going to be the biggest regret of his life. Trying to spice up his life.

Not watching where he was going, Octavian almost ran straight into a post that was knocked down by the chaos. He managed to stumble away from the debris, but was pinned in another explosion.

The next thing he could remember was his ears ringing and screaming, as the ominous mist wrapped itself around him.

That moment, Octavian knew this was going to be his only regret. Spicing his life too much.

He looked to the others tangled in this mess with him. All he could hope was that they would get out alive.

* * *

' _Incoming Transmission'_

The silhouette of a bald man popped up on the screen. The only thing not enshrouded by the anonymity of darkness was the light shining down on the man. Even then, it was hard to discern what it was.

"Hello, Commander. In light of the recent extraterrestrial incursion, this council of nations has convened to approve the activation of the X-Com project."

News reports from all over the globe, showcasing the alien attacks, popped up next to the man.

"You have chosen to lead this initiative to oversee our first and last line of defense.

Your efforts will have considerable influence on this planet's future.

We urge you to keep that in mind as you proceed.

Welcome back, Commander, and good luck."

' _End Transmission'_

As the image disappeared from the screen, the middle-aged man holding the tablet sighed. It was time. Decades of planning and excavation to prepare for any and every threat to this planet and its people has finally paid off, unfortunately.

He was one of the first to support the X-Com project, but he was still surprised to know that the Council elected him to lead.

Well, he was a well-experienced tactician, knew more about global politics than most politicians, and has had history of international humanitarian acts. He just expected them to want a younger and more able person to lead.

Especially because of the fact that he lost his legs and was confined to a metal contraption the rest of his life.

Oh well, the man grabbed his phone and dialed up his faithful companion.

"Hello?" The voice from the other side of the device asked.

"X-Com has been activated." The man calmly stated.

The voice obviously stumbled then stuttered. "Yes, Mr. Brunner. I'll be there shortly."

* * *

Similar transmissions were scattered across the globe, to every nation's armies, veterans, agency, even corporations in hopes of gathering the greatest minds and bodies on the planet (well, the previously greatest minds and bodies on the planet) and fight the ethereal force.

Soldiers and scientists. Engineers and communicators. Constructions workers and pilots. All kinds of people were needed.

In hindsight, it was beautiful to see all peoples and countries join together against a larger cause. To set aside differences and put together similarities. The UK and Argentina, Russia, the US and China, France and Germany. Pretty much everyone is in this together.

How sad it only took annihilation to get there.

* * *

Nico di Angelo marveled at the massive underground cavern system that was the X-Com Headquarters.

He just stepped of the goliath of a plane, called the Skyranger and entered the hanger. Even there, Nico could tell how massive the base was.

The hanger itself was like a blunt cone. The very top was a sealed door for the aircraft to speed through. A launching mechanism that looked like it came from a sci-fi movie stood directly below it, next to the Skyranger platform. Close to the top, six massive alcoves held a fighter jet each. The bottom was the platform itself, filled with fuel tanks, forklifts, engineers and doorways to the other chambers.

Nico always wanted to know what international engineering could do, and he wasn't disappointed. The quiet plains of the center of the United States proved to be a great base location.

"Fratello, andiamo." Nico snapped out of his thoughts as his sister, Bianca waved her hand in front of his face. They were two of the group soldiers sent from the Italian military. Both of them were trained snipers.

Quickly, the two of them followed the other passengers of the Skyranger to a young man standing on a platform.

He was a tall, broad-shouldered brunet with a buzz cut and a green commando sweater. He looked just like the other personnel Nico has seen, but he could already tell this man was not to be messed with.

"Welcome, I'm Central Officer Bradford," the man stated. An earpiece Nico was given they landed automatically translated the man's words to Italian. Though he knew quite a bit of English, it was always handy to hear things in one's native tongue. "My role here at X-Com is twofold, I provide tactical support in field operations and act as second-in-command to the Commander, he will introduce himself when he arrives. I want you to give him utmost respect when you see him."

"That won't be necessary, Officer," a powerful voice echoed from behind Nico. Everyone turned around to see a man in his fifties moving towards the gathered people in a wheelchair. A younger man stood behind him. "I am Commander Brunner, but you may call me Chiron," he introduced himself with a voice that held authority and warmth at the same time.

"Commander," Bradford muttered and raised in arm in salute.

The man returned the gesture then turned his attention to the ever-growing crowd, the other personnel were eager to see their leader in this cause.

"Now, some of you are thinking why a man in a wheelchair is your Commander in a fight against a threat we have never even _seen_ before. Well, I was like you once, and I know exactly what you _shouldn't_ do, unless you want to be eviscerated," he waved that last part of as if he were talking about pie.

"While I expect some respect, I have no need for formalities. Unless the Council is here, you will call me by Chiron. Don't see me as a superior, think of me as a teacher." He smiled fondly at the large group, who visibly seemed to like the Commander already.

The moment was ruined, however, by the loud beeping and flashing of sirens. Chiron's face hardened, and Nico frowned. He knew what that meant. Battlestations.

Chiron pressed a finger to his ear, and nodded as he listened to the transmission coming from who knows where.

When the beeping stopped, and the transmission seemed to end, Chiron raised his voice. "We have an encounter. I need all engineers and scientists to the labs, you have some stuff to do. Bradford, take the communications officers to Central, I will meet you there. Soldiers, I'm afraid I only need six of you for this. So I need you…"

He started rattling orders as if he was a cookbook, the face of warmth immediately replaced by one that anybody could see would belong to the Commander.

Nico blinked in surprise when he saw the Commander's stare fall on him, and it took Bianca's voice to snap him back to reality and run towards the armory. He handed his sister his bag and dashed.

* * *

"We're landing in mainland China for this mission. Be careful, we don't know what's out there." Bradford's voice buzzed in Nico's earpiece.

"Roger that, Central," one of the American soldiers replied. Percy, Nico recalled. He had black hair and a swimmer's build, a marine assigned with the assault class. Nico thought he looked absolutely _gorgeous_.

Next to him sat a bully Chinese-Canadian guy with a buzz cut, he was Frank. He apparently was a part of a special force that tracked down poachers and dealers of the black market, he was also a sniper, which was surprising. But after this story, Nico knew Frank was best at long range. As far as Nico could tell, Frank was shy and quiet, despite his obvious bulk.

On Percy's other side was another American woman, called Thalia. She was assigned to be an assault as well. According to Percy's story, the two were cousins. One was in the navy, the other a marine. Whatever that meant.

On Nico's left was a scrawny Mexican almost as short as Nico was, Leo Valdez he so proudly introduced himself. A great mechanic, he volunteered to be one of the front-liners and to help at engineering on the side. Right now, he was fiddling with one of the mechanisms he was given; a Medikit, Nico recalled.

On his right was a American-French woman with the same build as Frank; Clarisse. She was assigned a heavy as she was an explosives expert in the French military. Clarisse had a strong grip and a rough punch, Nico didn't know what to think of this one.

"So," Percy started. "What do you think is out there? I think it's gonna be something like those monsters from Pacific Rim…" He started to describe what they generally looked like, but all Nico payed attention to was the way his lips moved and the way his arms swished whenever he would gesture to something.

He stared at Percy in a daze until someone snapped their fingers in his face. Startled, he looked to his left and saw that it was Clarisse who caught his attention. By the smirk on her face, the sniper could tell she knew exactly what he was thinking. Oh boy, here we go again…

"Come on Seaweed Brain, these things are obviously gonna be robots," Thalia playfully hit her cousin's shoulder.

The others started arguing about what the aliens looked like while Clarisse shoved Nico's shoulder. "You like Prissy there, huh?"

Nico paled.

At that Clarisse laughed and patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me." She neared his ear. "But, you shouldn't be ashamed of who you are. If you want, you can talk to me." She smirked and turned to make conversation with Frank.

Nico tilted his head. ' _Interesting,"_ he thought. Not everyone he knew accepted homosexuality, or _any_ sexuality apart from hetero, in his home town. Except for a select few, like the his mother and Bianca, his friends and the local friar. Everyone else was...not so open-minded. The Italian simply assumed everyone outside of his hometown treated _them_ like most of those within.

It was quite a surprise when he went to places like Rome, or the areas bordering France and Switzerland where people were so _open_. It was refreshing.

The sound of the American's voice in front of him tore Nico away from his thoughts. The sniper looked up in confusion.

Percy mirrored Nico's confusion. He looked to his cousin and asked, "Does he speak English?" He turned back to Nico. "Doooo yooooouuu speeeeaaaaak Eeeeeengliiiiiissssshhh?" Percy waved his hands in what Nico can only assume as sign gibberish.

Thalia rolled her eyes. "Percy we have the comms, of course he can understand us." The assault blushed and his cousin repeated the unheard question. "What's your story?"

Nico avoided her electric gaze and was surprised to see everyone turned to him, it looks like it was his turn to share.

He pondered the question for a bit, and spoke softly. "My name is Niccolo di Angelo, my friends call me Nico. I grew up in a small village, in the south of Italy. My sister, Bianca, and I joined the military and were trained to be snipers. We were on mission when the call happened. We were very surprised when our targets surrendered and revealed they were called as well-"

Nico continued to explain what he and his sister did. He talked about what their tasks were, and what the highlights of this job was for him.

He couldn't help but smile when he saw everyone with a fond look on their face as they remembered their own missions, but the look of sadness that lined the nostalgia from the lives lost and homes destroyed.

By the time he finished talking about how they managed to bust a terrorist cell because one of the members slipped on a banana, everyone was telling their own stories, tales and jokes.

Nico felt at home more than he did at his actual home. Based on what Clarisse said, this may be true. He could be free, he could be whatever he wanted to be, he could be _himself_.

The laughter had to end though, when Bradford's voice echoed throughout the vessel signalling the approach.

"Roger that, Central," the pilots, Big Sky, responded as they touched down. "Strike-1 is ready to go."

* * *

 **I decided to split this chapter because, I actually have a lot of stuff I could include here, and I actually want to release something before the year ends.**

 **So sorry for the extremely late posts, I've been going through some rough times and it's been a lot harder for me to be inspired. If you have any suggestions for a Christmas special, please review!**

 **Shoutout to any people that play X-Com! Speaking of which X-Com 2 is just around the corner!**

 **Well, that's all for now on** _ **~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~**_ **(insert catchy jingle here).**

* * *

" **Ayy…"**

" **Commander, please try not to explode the invaluable artifacts."**

" **What the hell is that?"**

* * *

 ***Random Gibberish***


	14. X-Com: Alien Assault

**This is the** _ **~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~**_ **(insert catchy jingle here).**

 **I TURN ONE YEAR OLDER TODAY. Again, apologies for less frequent posting.**

 **You can also find me on AO3, now. Hopefully, I have motivation to do stuff now!**

 **Anyways, thank you to JustanotherAnimeFreak, TheArgentinianDemigod, Guest, TheTrainToCampLegacy, FanFictionAddict2.0, Seas and Shadows, and ChildInDark.**

 **On with the story!**

 **I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians, X-Com or X-Com 2. Pardon my Italian.**

* * *

 **X-Com: Alien Assault**

* * *

The first thing Nico noticed when stepping out of the Skyranger was the silence. Dead silence.

The streets of Beijing were completely empty and devoid of life, save for him and his companions. Wide open streets filled with empty cars and trucks made the sniper assume whatever caused the distress signal happened during rush hour.

Since Nico was last to leave the large vehicle, though, he didn't have much time to scan the area and had to run straight behind a building column as the others went ahead of him. The building he hid near turned out to be a small restaurant.

' _Potrebbe essere utile,'_ he noted.

"Di Angelo, Zhang, la Rue enter Overwatch." The Commander's voice buzzed in Nico's ear.

"Capito, Comandante," Nico replied. The other two's voices soon followed.

The Italian didn't know what to make of the older man, honestly. He didn't look much like a soldier or act like one. The scruffy beard and old style suit with suspenders supported that. But the look in his eyes alone, showed Nico more than he wanted to see. So much pain and grief and sadness. It didn't take a genius to figure out why the man was in a wheelchair. Or how. Nico knew a great soldier sat in that chair, no matter the outer appearances.

Looking through his rifle's scope, Nico prepared himself for anything and everything that would move. From his spot, about fifty feet from the Skyranger, the sniper could see most of everyone in the squad.

Closest to him was the support, Valdez, Nico recalled. The Commander was having him investigate the shopfront directly in front of Nico. By the looks of the soldier's face and the shaking of his hands, he seemed to be nervous. Nico could relate.

" _Stai andando alla grande_ ," Nico attempted to encourage the jittering Mexican. Valdez jumped in surprise and looked over to where the sniper was situated. He nodded in thanks and grinned sheepishly.

On the other side of the street, Nico could see that Zhang was crouching behind a car slightly ahead, in a similar fashion to himself. He seemed to be having a quiet conversation with la Rue, who was crouched behind the open door of the same car.

Nico's assumptions were right, it seemed. Everyone managed to evacuate in time, hopefully.

The two cousins were at the far end of the street, further than everyone else, aiming their shotguns at the second stories of the buildings that lined this previously busy avenue. The previous loud and almost obnoxious faces that Nico had the pleasure of watching have been completely replaced by ones of pure concentration, stoicism and hardiness. It almost looked scary.

In fact, everyone looked almost scary. The heavies were basically walking tanks. Weapons of mass destruction, both large and small were packed all over their body armour. The support had a glint in his eye that basically said he could figure out how to poison you with something meant to save lives. Nico himself looked like he could plow through row upon row of enemy with a sniper rifle. The only question left was 'What _were_ the enemy?'

Nico shook his head, he needed to focus.

Nico climbed up a pipe onto the roof of the building Leo previously entered. He smirked in satisfaction. No one can move without him seeing.

The sniper immediately entered Overwatch, per the Commander's order. Everything seemed to be in order. Valdez moved to the building in front of him, Zhang into the building opposite. La Rue went down the middle of the avenue and hid behind a pick-up truck, filled with crates of vegetables and other goods. The cousins were about to move, but Nico interrupted the transmission.

" _Movimento_ ," the sniper's eyes locked onto a pulsing orange light that slowly flickered as if it was breathing or _ticking_. " _Nel contenitore_ , be careful." His mother always said those two words in English, ever since he was a kid. He slapped himself. There was no need for personal thoughts to enter at such a dire time.

"Copy," Grace nodded in reply as she gradually approached the container on the back of a large truck.

Nico had no idea what to expect from this...whatever it was. The way the light pulsed looked like a core or a signal, but it didn't seem biological, at the very least.

"I'm getting something," Grace whispered as she hid behind a crate that appeared to have fallen out of the truck. "It's a...what is it Doctor?"

The thing looked very robotic. It had four legs surrounding a quadrilateral-like base that supported some sort of orange pylon. What looked like the lid spun around the pylon. A hole on the roof of the truck left little to the imagination on how it got there.

"It appears to be some sort of canister. Our readings indicate a mysterious substance is held within. I suggest we collect it before something happens," Doctor Liesl Vahlen professionally answered.

Nico didn't actually see her, but according to the pilots of the Skyranger, she was the head of the Research and Development side of X-Com. Conducting research and ways to combat whatever it was they were fighting. It was her brain that led to the Medikit. There were rumours, though, about her _methods_ when involving live subjects. Nico dreaded to think what she would do if there were indeed aliens. Let's hope that rumour stays a rumour.

"Okay, let's see how this thing works," the female assault complied as she edged towards the glowing object.

Grace made a wide arc around the object, checking for any buttons are switches.

"I'm see no way to open this, Doc." She pressed her hand against the metallic base and jumped in surprise when the lid opened and split like a puzzle piece. The pylon turned to actually be braces keeping a large gem in place, as the the black bonds lowered into the base of the canister.

"I believe that would suffice, soldier. Please exit the container and allow the recovery team to extract it later," Doctor Vahlen said hastily just before Grace touched the gem.

Nico silently agreed with the Doctor. Who knew what that thing could possibly do?

Just as Grace left the container, Jackson shouted in warning. "DUCK!"

As Grace jumped behind another crate, Nico and the others crouched down in alert. When Nico looked up again there was a giant green mess where Thalia was previously standing. Percy called out just in time.

Nico saw something out of the corner of his eye and directed the rifle in that direction. What he saw made his mouth drop in surprise.

" _Comandante…_ " Nothing else would come out of his throat as he made eye contact with the creature.

La Rue and Valdez heard Nico's word and looked in his direction, then at what he was looking at. They gasped in surprise. Soon, everyone stared either in awe or in terror at the alien creature that stared back.

It was a short, frail, silvery humanoid alien standing in the middle of an alleyway. Apart from its stomach, everything else was the definition of the word "malnourished." Bony legs and arms that ended with three-clawed hands. The hip bones were visible, along with pretty much every other bone in this creature's anatomy

The middle of its chest glowed just like the canister from before, and Nico had the brief thought of that stuff being the core of these aliens. He shook it off and focused on the rest of it.

It had a massive head shaped just like those, Nico then thought, inaccurate drawings of aliens. Turns out they _were_ accurate. It was shaped like a large inverted dew drop with giant eyes that were black with a golden outline at the edges. It scared Nico that the first thing that came to mind when he looked into its eyes was a black hole.

The only weapon it seemed to have was a futuristic looking pistol on its arm; the word _sidearm_ was take too literally, in this case.

Just in time did the Commander's voice indicate the alien moving to attack Grace again.

"Di Angelo, shoot it!"

It's a good thing he was staring at the creature through the scope, otherwise they would have went home sans one soldier that they.

Nico pulled the trigger and with a loud 'BAM' the alien fell to the ground.

Thalia's scream broke the silence and Nico turned to see some of the green stuff grazed the assault's armor. Where did that come from?

The sound of shotgun fire answered that question. Four more of the aliens poured out of the alley and all hell broke loss.

* * *

"What the hell is that?" La Rue angrily asked as she loaded up one of the 'Sectoids,' they started to call them, with a grenade.

"Commander, Squaddie, please try not to explode the invaluable artifacts," Vahlen chastised. "The substance on Ms. Grace's armor and the ammunition of the alien weaponry reveals to actually be plasma. I do not understand how they managed to utilize the material in such a way, but I will study this further."

"Is it lethal?" Grace worriedly asked as she snuck up on a Sectoid from behind.

"Not necessarily, no. Your body armour was able to withhold the effects of the plasma just before it was completely penetrated. Even if the plasma touched your skin, it would require a large amount on a vital area for it to be lethal. It was a good thing Squaddies di Angelo and Jackson were able to dispatch the alien lifeforms before anymore plasma was shot."

"That's reassuring," Valdez replied.

Nico wiped away the sweat from his brow. They were fighting for almost two hours now.

Four of the Sectoids have been killed, but one of them managed to injure Zhang's legs, and Jackson got a concussion from running into a sign too fast, trying to escape from another. Valdez was treating both of them in the restaurant.

Intel from the local police force indicated that these were the only aliens in the city.

So, it was now two-to-three.

The sniper was now on the rooftop of the building above the restaurant, just in case one of them got inside.

The assault was now sneaking up on a Sectoid hiding in front of the truck that held the canister.

And la Rue? She was… firing at the last Sectoid, to say the least. She was actually firing explosives at it, but it kept dodging them.

No strategy whatsoever. That really annoyed Nico, you need a strategy to win. If you just run into the battlefield with no plan whatsoever, then you'd… You'd… End up like Jackson. Yeah.

The Sectoid was soon backed up back into the alley it came from which gave la Rue a flanked target.

Nico raised his brow. Turns out she _did_ have a plan. Good job, then.

The sniper turned his attention to the last Sectoid.

Grace was ten feet away from the alien. Smirking, he readied his weapon. ' _Il mio uccidere…'_

He pressed his finger to the trigger and… nothing happened.

Nico tried again and all he heard was a click. _'Dannazione, vuoto,'_ he silently grumbled as he reloaded.

When the sniper looked at the alien again, all that was left was a very confused-looking Grace and an alien corpse.

" _Quello che è successo_?" He asked, puzzled as well.

"Ayy…" Valdez' voice crackled through the intercom. Nico, la Rue and Grace turned to see a grinning support holding what looked like a _shuriken?!_

"I knew bringing these babies would come in handy," Valdez happily admitted.

"That was...interesting," Bradford remarked. "Well, let's clear out people. And let the recovery team take care of the rest. We'll see you back at the base."

"Copy that, Central," Jackson replied. "Okay everyone, let's move out."

As they made their way back to the Skyranger, Nico played the events of the battle back in his mind.

If he didn't shoot that Sectoid, then Thalia would've… Let's not think about that.

The last thought Nico had before the skyline of Beijing shrunk in the distance was who were the enemy and what was their next move.

* * *

 **No headcannons for AUs.**

 **Translations:**

 ** _Potrebbe essere utile_ \- It might be useful**

 ** _Stai andando alla grande_ \- You're doing great**

 _ **Movimento**_ **\- Movement**

 ** _Nel contenitore_ \- In the container**

 ** _Comandante…_ \- Commander...**

 ** _Il mio uccidere…_ \- My kill...**

 ** _Dannazione,_ _vuoto_ \- Damnit, empty**

 ** _Quello che è successo?_ \- What happened?**

* * *

 **So that was my X-Com PJatO crossover. Once again, sorry for the late posts, I hope I get motivated again soon.**

 **Thank you all for supporting me these past few months, and let's see what will happen next!**

 **Tune in next time on** _ **~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~**_ **(insert catchy jingle here)**

 **P.S. To any Pokemon Special/Adventures fans, I have something coming up ;)**

* * *

" **We meet again Perseus Jackson."**

" **I get free shipping, right?"**

" **Yes…"**

* * *

 **Sayonara!**


End file.
